What is it like to be a teenage or young parent?

Young parents say that you don’t need to have everything figured out to be a good parent.

They say parenting is something everyone learns as they go, and that young parents can build confidence over time.

Young parents also say what matters most is:

• caring for your child
• responding to your child’s needs as best you can
• asking for support when you need it.

Try your hardest to be what they need when they need it. Show them they are loved, how to be loved and how to give love.

– Mother, aged 19 years

What are the benefits of being a teenage or young parent?

Every young parent’s experience is different.

Some young parents say that becoming a parent has helped them:

• develop new skills
• think about their goals
• find a strong sense of purpose.

Becoming a young parent changed my life. It put my life back on track to achieve my goals. I can grow alongside my children and learn as I go. I don’t have it all together, but together we have it all.

– Young mother

What are the challenges of being a teenage or young parent?

All parents navigate challenges as their children grow and develop. Many of these challenges are the same for teenage parents, young parents and older parents. For example, most parents sometimes feel tired, lonely, isolated, uncertain, stressed or overwhelmed by the responsibilities of raising a child.

But some teenage or young parents might have to navigate extra challenges, like:

• being judged by other parents
• balancing parenting with school
• finding affordable housing
• finding nonjudgmental support.

What matters most to children is what their parents do, not how old their parents are. When parents raise their children in reliable, loving, nurturing, warm, sensitive, responsive and flexible ways, children grow and develop well.

What can make a difference for you as a teenage or young parent?

There are things you can do to support your child’s development and get the most out of parenting as a young person. These include:

• building your relationship with your child
• building healthy relationships with others
• continuing your education if you want to
• getting practical and financial help
• looking after yourself.

As a parent, you’re always learning. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s also OK to admit you don’t know something and ask questions or get help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of caring for your child, call your state or territory parenting helpline.

Building your relationship with your child

The relationship you build with your child from birth and in early childhood is the foundation of your child’s health and development. A strong relationship with you helps your child feel safe and secure and gives your child confidence to learn and explore. A strong relationship also helps you understand and respond to your child’s needs.

Getting to know your baby takes time, but you can build your relationship by sharing everyday moments together.

Tips for building a strong relationship with your child

• Develop a bond with your baby. You can do this through cuddles, eye contact, smiles, reading and play.
• Learn about baby behaviour and child development. This can help you understand what to expect as your child grows and develops.
• Get to know your baby’s cues and body language. This can help you understand how your baby is feeling and what they need.
• Talk with your child – it’s never too early to talk, and the more talk, the better.
• Play with your child – play is a great relationship builder. It’s also the main way that children learn and develop in the early years.

You’re the most important part of your baby’s life. If you’re worried about your relationship with your baby, it’s good to talk with your child and family health nurse or GP. Getting help when your baby is young can make a big difference to both of you.

Building healthy relationships with others

Strong and healthy relationships are good for you. For example, they can help you feel less alone and more supported as a teenage or young parent.

Strong relationships are good for your child’s development too. For example, if your child sees kind and respectful relationships around them, your child learns to be kind and respectful with others.

Tips for building strong relationships with others

• Work on positive communication with your partner if you have one. If you have differences of opinion or disagreements, work together on problem-solving and conflict management.
• Make time to stay connected with old friends and make new friends.
• Join a playgroup. Playgroups are great for your child’s learning and development, and they can be a great way to meet parents like yourself. You could look for a playgroup for teenage or young parents.
• Contact your local community centre, child and family health nurse or GP to find out about support groups for young parents. These sorts of groups can provide emotional support as well as information on child development and health care.

If there are problems in your relationships, including family violence, you can get support. Contact the National Domestic Family and Sexual Violence Counselling Service by calling 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), texting 0458 737 732, using online chat or video calling. You can also call Relationships Australia in your state or territory on 1300 364 277 or Lifeline on 131 114.

Continuing your education

In Australia, if you’re pregnant or have a baby while you’re still at school, TAFE or university, you have the right to continue and finish your education.

Studying and finishing your education as a teenage or young parent can help you:

• achieve your life goals
• get the job that you want and support your family
• stay connected with friends
• build and maintain a support network
• be involved in your community.

You can get support from a social worker, a counsellor or the education provider to find out about how to continue your education if that’s what you want to do.

Educational adjustments and support options

Your school, TAFE or university might be able to make educational adjustments to help you continue your education as a teenage or young parent. These might include:

• flexible hours or modified timetables
• reduced study load or part-time study
• classroom support staff or guidance officers
• home or online study
• supervised home visits from teachers.

If you’re at school and these options aren’t available, you could look into other schools that are good at supporting teenage or young parents. Or you could consider completing Year 12 at TAFE or a similar institution.

Options for balancing study and family life

Balancing family and study might help you continue your education in a way that works for you. Options might include:

• using child care
• studying at night while a trusted person cares for your child
• taking a break and returning to education later.

If you feel that you’re being discriminated against by students or staff, it’s important to talk to your school, TAFE or university about the issue. You might want someone you trust to help you do this, like a youth support worker or a social worker. If you can’t resolve the issue, you can get help from your state or territory anti-discrimination agency.

Getting practical and financial help

All parents, including teenage or young parents, need formal and informal support from others at times. It’s OK to ask for the kind of support you need.

Help with daily care tasks

Becoming a parent means learning how to care for your baby. This includes learning how to:

• feed your baby
• change a nappy
• bath your baby
• settle your baby for sleep
• know when your baby is sick
• start your baby on solids.

There are many people who can help you learn, including your GP, your child and family health nurse, and other early childhood experts.

Help with other things like money, work, housing and child care

You might want help with:

• managing money
• applying for government parenting payments
• returning to or starting work
• finding housing
• choosing child care.

A social worker or young parent service near you can help you with these things. They can answer your questions, explain your options and connect you to the right services.

You might want to get help from other trusted people in your support network too. These people might be your parents, carers, kin and friends. You could also visit Brave Foundation’s Services Directory to search for parenting, financial, employment, housing, child care and other support services.

Looking after your physical, mental and emotional health

Parenting is a big job, and it can be easy to forget or run out of time for self-care. But your health and wellbeing matters too.

It’s OK to look after yourself in ways that suit you as a teenage or young parent. Small acts of self-care can make a difference.

Physical health

Looking after yourself physically involves regular exercise and healthy eating and getting as much rest as you can.

Mental and emotional health

Looking after your mental and emotional health includes:

• making time to do things you enjoy
• making time for friendships and social connections
• being kind to yourself when things don’t go to plan
• using helpful thinking strategies
• trying breathing, relaxation or mindfulness strategies
• managing stress, managing anxiety and managing anger in healthy ways.

If things are difficult or you need mental health support, you can start by talking with your GP or child and family health nurse. They can help you explore your support options.

You might be able to get Medicare rebates for up to 10 sessions with a mental health professional each calendar year. To get these rebates, you’ll need a mental health treatment plan from a GP or a referral from a psychiatrist or paediatrician.

You could also try mental health support services like:

• Black Dog Institute
• Gidget Foundation Australia
• Headspace – call 1800 650 890
• Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia (PANDA) – call 1300 726 306.