Baby behaviour at 3-12 months: what to expect
Your baby’s behaviour is often a response to experiences they:
- like
- are afraid of
- are curious about.
Your baby’s relationship with you and other primary carers is also a key influence on their behaviour – that is, on how they respond to experiences. For example, even when an experience frightens your baby, they’ll look to you to keep them safe. Your baby will also learn a lot about how to behave by watching you.
Babies’ early experiences and relationships stimulate their brains, shaping the way they see and respond to the world. As your baby’s awareness of the world grows, your baby develops and learns, and you’ll see many changes in behaviour.
Your baby’s behaviour and body language can tell you what your baby needs. For example, your baby will give you special cues when they need a feed or a sleep.
What makes babies happy?
Being with favourite people and playing with favourite toys makes your baby happy.
Your baby will develop strong attachments to the most important people in their world. These are the people who make them feel loved, safe and secure. If you or your partner care for your baby most of the time, it’s likely your baby will prefer one or both of you to everyone else.
Likewise, your baby might love one toy much more than others.
When your baby is happy, their behaviour will tell you. Your baby might smile and make happy noises. They might even wave or clap their hands when they see their favourite people.
What makes babies afraid or unhappy?
Your baby might become afraid of specific things, like the bath. And as your baby learns what to expect of life, the unexpected might really upset them. For example, your baby might start to be afraid of people they don’t know or haven’t seen in a while, or upset around people who aren’t important or familiar.
Also, once your baby understands you’re a separate person, they might be upset or cry when you leave the room because they don’t know whether you’ll come back. This can affect your baby’s ability to sleep and settle independently, especially overnight.
Fear of strangers and separation anxiety are very common and usually go away gradually throughout early childhood.
What makes babies curious?
Your baby is curious about many things. That’s because your baby has so much to learn about the world.
Your baby will start experimenting with things to see what they’re for. This might involve dropping your phone in the cat’s water dish, tipping the sugar bowl onto the rug, or biting, pinching or hair-pulling. Everything will probably end up in your baby’s mouth too, because this is how babies like to explore objects.
Check out our baby development trackers for more information about what to expect from baby behaviour at 3-12 months.
How to guide your baby towards positive behaviour
Around 6-12 months is a good time to start setting gentle limits to guide your baby towards positive behaviour in the future. For example, if your baby gets too close to the oven, you can say, ‘No, the oven is hot’. Then pick up your baby and move them to a safe area.
Your baby doesn’t understand danger, so it’s important to create a safe home environment, especially when your baby starts moving. For example, it might be best to use a gate or some other way of keeping your baby out of the kitchen and away from hot cooking surfaces.
Your baby will probably do things and then look at you to see how you react. You can smile and use a happy tone if your baby is behaving in positive ways. It’s still important to respond calmly even if your baby isn’t behaving in positive ways – for example, if they’ve pulled your hair or are getting too close to the oven. This helps your baby feel safe. Your baby will soon learn that different tones in your voice mean different things.