Good mental health for neurodivergent kids & teens

What is mental health for children and why does it matter?

Mental health is the way kids and teens think and feel about themselves and the world around them.

If your child has good mental health, they feel good about themselves and feel loved, safe and secure in their environment.

Good mental health is an important part of healthy development. For young autistic people or young people with ADHD, it can help with:

understanding and managing emotions
building healthy relationships
learning, playing and being creative
adapting to change
coping with challenges and stresses.

How to care for your neurodivergent child’s mental health

If your child is autistic or has ADHD, there are many practical things you can do to care for their mental health. Some of these are things you’d do for neurotypical children. You can read more in:

There are also extra things that can help neurodivergent children and teenagers.

When families and communities embrace neurodiversity, it’s good for neurodivergent children’s mental health, wellbeing, sense of self and identity.

Create neurodiversity-affirming environments

Environments that support and celebrate children’s differences are important for good mental health. In these kinds of environments, neurodivergent kids and teens feel less pressure to behave in neurotypical ways, hide behaviour like stimming, mask who they are, and cope with sensory overstimulation.

Sensory needs

Work with your child to create home spaces that meet your child’s sensory needs. For example, use appropriate lighting, textures and sound, plus seating that helps your child with posture. It’s also good to remove clutter.
Give your child noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blankets, stress balls and other things that help them manage their sensory needs.
Encourage your child to get sensory input through activities like fidgeting and movement breaks.
Read more about sensory sensitivities and autism.

Communication styles

Support the communication style that works best for your child.
Be clear and direct. For example, avoid metaphors, jokes and slang when you talk to your child.
Use short sentences, give only 1-2 instructions at a time, and highlight key words, like ‘Put your shirt on’. Give your child extra time to respond.
Use visual aids like photos and pictures, communication boards and diaries. This can help your child understand, focus and remember things.
Read more about autism and communication and augmentative and alternative communication.

Predictable routines

Routines are good for kids and teens. Routines can help your child get things done and feel more secure, more in control, better able to cope with challenges and less overwhelmed or anxious.
Involve your child in following and managing their routines. For example, a visual support could help your child follow steps for getting ready in the morning, or an app might help them track their therapy appointments.
Warn your child about transitions and let your child know in advance if there’ll be changes to the routine.
Use routines to give your child regular breaks for movement, sensory regulation or quiet time.
Read more about routines and ADHD and routines and autism.

Family life

Involve your child in family decision-making when appropriate – for example, choosing weekend plans or contributing to shared meals.
Create ways for your child to contribute to family life using their strengths, like creating playlists, helping with a pet or designing a family calendar.
Support your child’s relationship with their siblings by looking for ways that they can all play, have fun and interact together.
Have consistent family rules and consequences that apply to everyone. This sends the message that everyone is important and equal.

Help your child build emotional regulation skills

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognise, understand and manage feelings. When your child has support to regulate their emotions, they’re more likely to feel safe, confident and connected – and better able to cope with everyday challenges.

Here are ideas:

Help your child learn words for emotions.
Help your child do breathing exercises to manage their feelings. You could use your child’s interests. For example, if they love animals, you might practise ‘lion breaths’ to let out big feelings.
Encourage your child to practise mindfulness and be aware of how their body feels when they have different emotions.
Encourage your child to talk about their feelings with you or other trusted family members or friends.
Encourage your child to keep difficult experiences in perspective by using helpful thinking.
Work with your child on a problem-solving approach to challenges.
Read more about self-regulation and ADHD, emotions and ADHD and emotions and autism.

Help your child make friends and connect with others

Friendships and community connections can give your child a sense of belonging, which is good for their mental health.

Friendships

Some kids and teens prefer one-on-one friendships or online connections. Some thrive in interest-based groups like coding clubs or art classes. Others enjoy being part of larger groups.

Your child might need support with friendship skills. Here are ideas:

Talk about what makes a good friend and a safe friendship. Good friends and safe friendships allow your child to be who they are and behave in ways that feel natural.
Help your child practise skills for having conversations or solving social problems. But remind your child that it’s OK for them to be who they are.
Read more about friendships and autism, social relationships and autism, children’s friendships and ADHD and teenage friendships and ADHD.

Community connections

Look for neurodiversity-affirming community groups, sports clubs or interest-based activities.
Connect with other families who understand and celebrate neurodivergent children.
Look for mentors or role models who are successful neurodivergent adults.
Encourage your child to get involved in autism or neurodiversity advocacy or volunteering if they’re interested.

Encourage your child to be physically active

Regular movement improves mood, sleep and energy levels, which are all good for mental health. The key is adapting activities to suit your child’s preferences, abilities and sensory needs.

Here are ideas:

Try mind-body exercises like yoga or tai-chi. Activities that combine more than one type of movement or skill at the same time can also be good – for example, tennis, dancing or martial arts.
Create movement breaks during the day, like jumping on a trampoline or doing indoor activities like shake it out or move with the room.
Look for activities that are both physical and social – for example, a community gardening group or a sports club.

Work with the school to support your child’s learning

Neurodivergent children and teenagers have strengths that can help with aspects of learning and school. They can also face challenges. When they get support, they can make the most of their strengths and manage their challenges.

Here are ideas:

Make sure staff at your child’s school understand your child’s strengths, communication style, and sensory and support needs.
Advocate for your child to ensure their needs are being met and encourage your child to self-advocate.
Read more about educational adjustments for ADHD and school communication and autism.

Build your child’s independence

Independence is about taking on new responsibilities, being confident to try new things, and making decisions. It’s important for your child’s wellbeing and development.

Here are ideas:

Offer choices. For example, ‘Do you want to do your homework at the desk or on the beanbag?’ or ‘Would you like to wear the striped shirt or the plain shirt today?’
Help your child build skills by using their special interests and assistive technology. For example, if your child loves trains, they could plan a safe travel route using a public transport app.
Break tasks into small, supported steps. For example, learning to order food might start with watching someone else do it, then rehearsing with a script, and eventually ordering with a communication device or visual support.
Read more about autistic children going out independently and autistic teenagers going out independently.

Promote positive self-identity

When children reach adolescence, they start thinking about who they are and where they fit in the world. If your child has autism or ADHD, this can be a complex experience.

Here are ideas that can help your child navigate this experience:

Help your child find role models who share their neurodivergence.
Talk openly and positively about your child’s neurodivergence. Focus on strengths as well as support needs.
Encourage your child to think about their interests and values and how they’d describe themselves to others.
If your child is interested, support their involvement in neurodiversity advocacy. This can build purpose and pride.