Communication and autistic children

Communication skills are important for all children. Communication skills help children learn, understand the world, connect with others and express their thoughts and feelings.

Autistic children sometimes communicate differently from non-autistic children, and this is OK.

Autistic children also have a range of communication skills and abilities. Some autistic children have very good communication skills, whereas others find it harder to communicate.

Also, some autistic children have difficulties developing language, find it difficult to understand or use spoken language, or have no language at all. These children might need support to learn and practise skills for communicating.

Communication is the exchange of thoughts, opinions or information by speech, writing or nonverbal expression. Language is communication using words – written, spoken or signed (as in Auslan).

How autistic children communicate

Autistic children might:

• use language differently from non-autistic children
• use non-verbal communication differently from non-autistic children
• communicate their thoughts and feelings using behaviour.

Language: how autistic children use it to communicate

Autistic children might:

• mimic or repeat other people’s words or phrases, or words they’ve heard on TV, YouTube or videos
• repeat these words and phrases without understanding their meaning – this is called echolalia
• use made-up words
• say the same word over and over.

When autistic children use language in these ways, they might be trying to communicate. But it can sometimes be hard for other people to understand what children want or need. For example, your autistic child might repeat a phrase like ‘Do you want a lolly?’ when they actually want one themselves. This is because when they’ve heard that question before, they’ve got a lolly.

Autistic children might also:

• use direct or ‘matter-of-fact’ language
• have a less expressive or more formal tone of voice
• start sentences with particular words or phrases
• have a slight accent or change their accent while they’re talking
• not be able to speak when they’re feeling overwhelmed.

Over time, many autistic children can build on these beginnings and learn to use language in more flexible ways.

Non-verbal communication: how autistic children use it to communicate

Autistic children might:

• physically manipulate a person or object – for example, your autistic child might take a person’s hand and push it towards something they want
• point or show and shift their gaze – for example, your child might look at or point to something they want and then shift their gaze to another person
• use objects – for example, a child might hand an object to another person to communicate that they need help
• use repetitive body movements – for example, they might flap their hands when they’re feeling excited or nervous.

Autistic children might also:

• use less eye contact when speaking to others
• not use many gestures when they’re sharing ideas or describing something
• copy other people’s body language or movements.

Behaviour: how autistic children use it to communicate

Autistic children might behave in ways that have a negative effect on themselves or other people. This behaviour is often linked to their communication.

For example, if your autistic child refuses requests, self-harms, has tantrums or behaves aggressively towards others, this might be a way of telling you that they need something, aren’t happy, or are really confused or frightened.

If your child behaves in ways that have negative effects on themselves or other people, try to look at situations from your child’s perspective. This can help you work out what your child is communicating. Our article on managing challenging behaviour in autistic children can help you understand why your child is behaving in certain ways.

Supporting autistic children’s communication

You can support your autistic child’s communication by understanding their communication style and helping your child express their needs, thoughts and feelings.

Understanding autistic children’s communication styles

This starts with watching your autistic child carefully and noticing, responding to and validating your child’s attempts to communicate through language, non-verbal communication and behaviour. This will help you learn more about your child’s current communication and the skills that might be useful for them to learn next. It will also help your child feel that they’re being heard and understood.

For example, your child might cry in the kitchen. This might be their way of asking for food. The crying might also tell you that it’s too hard for your child to use words like ‘hungry’ or ‘food’ right now.

Encouraging non-verbal communication

If your autistic child is expressing themselves through behaviour like crying, they might be able to communicate non-verbally. For example, if you think they want food, you could encourage them to point, reach for food, or use a visual communication system like Key Word Sign to ask for food.

You could also help your child do this by modelling – that is, showing them what to do by pointing at the food yourself or using a visual sign for food. And if it isn’t upsetting for your child, you could also help your child physically by guiding their hand to point to the food.

Encouraging verbal communication

Here are ideas to encourage verbal communication.

Making links between objects and words

• Give your autistic child choices to help them make links between objects and words and practise making requests. For example, hold up 2 foods for them to choose from and ask, ‘Banana or grapes?’
• Label items around your house with words like ‘bickies’, ‘train’, ‘ball’, ‘brush’ and so on. Hearing and seeing the words many times can help your child link the word and the object without having to process a lot of information.
• Use visual cues. For example, show your child the object while saying the word.
• Turn questions about objects into comments. For example, instead of asking ‘What is that?’, you could say ‘It’s a spoon!’ If you comment on the object, it gives your child the chance to hear and learn the word.
• Exaggerate your tone of voice. For example, ‘Ouch, that water is very hot’.

Extending vocabulary

• Copy back your child’s words and sounds and add words to what they say. For example, if your child says ‘Shoe’, you can repeat back with an extra word, like ‘Big shoe’ or ‘Your shoe’.
• Use short sentences and highlight the key words. For example, ‘Put your shirt on. Put your hat on’.

Encouraging conversation

• Give your child enough time to understand and respond to questions and comments.
• Talk about topics or things that your child is interested in. It’s important that your child is motivated to communicate.

If you want to support your child’s communication skills, it’s a good idea to get advice from a speech pathologist or other autism professional. If your child is getting support through the NDIS early childhood approach or your child has an NDIS plan, you might be able to get funding for this support.