Self-advocacy for kids & teens with disability, autism or ADHD

What is self-advocacy?

Self-advocacy is speaking up for yourself and your rights by communicating your thoughts, needs and preferences.

What does self-advocacy in disability mean, and why is it important?

If your child has disability or ADHD, is autistic, or has other additional needs, self-advocacy can help them to:

communicate their needs and get the support that’s right for them
make or take part in decisions that affect their everyday lives and their future
take part in school or community activities
contribute meaningfully to their community
feel capable and confident
develop independence
do well at school and work.

What skills does your child need for self-advocacy?

For self-advocacy, children need to develop:

a strong sense of identity and values
decision-making skills
goal-setting skills
confidence
problem-solving skills
personal boundaries
the ability to manage emotions
an understanding of rights and responsibilities.

Children can develop self-advocacy skills best in supportive homes, schools and communities where they can set and achieve goals and feel a sense of belonging. Positive relationships at home, strong parent-school relationships and strong community connections can help.

How to help your child develop self-advocacy skills

If you help your child develop the skills they need for self-advocacy when they’re young, your child will be better prepared to self-advocate as they get older.

A strong sense of identity and values

To self-advocate, children need to know who they are and what’s important to them.

You can help your child understand themselves by encouraging them to explore and express their interests, strengths, skills, abilities and needs.

You can do this by asking your child about their opinions and preferences. For example, ‘Why do you like watching footy with Dad?’ and ‘Do you like to spend time together, or do you like supporting your favourite team when they play?’ Actively listen to what your child says.

You can also get your child thinking about their strengths, growth areas and needs. For example, ‘What can you do by yourself?’, ‘What things don’t you feel confident doing?’, ‘What would you like to learn to do?’ and ‘What do you need to feel more confident to do things?’

Decision-making

Your child’s decisions reflect what’s important to them and what’s worth speaking up for. This means that decision-making skills are important to self-advocacy. You can help your child learn these skills by involving them in making decisions about their daily routines or activities. For example, ‘Would you like to try footy or basketball this term?’

Visual schedules can help your child make choices about what happens in their day and in what order. Or you could create a choice board with images or words that represent activity, food or clothes options for your child to choose from.

Goal-setting

Goals reflect what’s important to your child and what’s worth speaking up for. Your child might need to set goals to get support – for example, goals for an NDIS plan or an individual learning plan.

You and your child could create a visual goal ladder that shows the steps towards achieving your child’s goal. For example, if your child wants to catch the bus to school by themselves, the ladder might have steps like learning the way to the bus stop, practising the journey with a parent, and learning what to do if something goes wrong.

Confidence

Your child needs confidence to self-advocate.

Role-play can be a great way to build confidence. For example, if your child is worried about asking their teacher for help, you and your child could role-play talking to the teacher.

If your child plays the teacher’s role to start with, you can show your child how to ask the question. Then you can switch roles so your child can practise asking. Your child’s confidence will grow if you give specific, positive feedback. For example, ‘You spoke slowly and clearly – well done’.

Also, if your child starts with small steps towards self-advocacy, they’re more likely to succeed, which helps them build more confidence. For example, when your child is ready to speak to the teacher, you could go along for support. Your child can work up to speaking to the teacher by themselves.

Problem-solving

Problem-solving is part of self-advocacy. One of the best ways for your child to develop problem-solving skills is to work through real-life scenarios.

For example, your child wants to go out with friends but is worried about wheelchair accessibility. You and your child could look at venue and transport options using a problem-solving approach.

Personal boundaries

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules that keep your child safe and comfortable. When children have a clear understanding of their personal boundaries, they can speak up for them. A circle of friends activity can help your child understand this idea. And your child can practise setting personal boundaries in simple ways, like saying ‘That isn’t funny’ if someone makes a joke about their disability.

Ability to manage emotions

To self-advocate successfully, children need to be able to understand and manage their reactions to feelings and things happening around them. This can help your child stay calm and polite when they speak up about something that matters to them.

You can help your child by working on their emotional skills. These articles can help:

Rights and responsibilities

Your child needs to know their rights to be a strong self-advocate.

UNICEF’s child-friendly version of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child can help your child understand their rights, which include education rights, inclusion rights and employment rights. You can use examples from your child’s experiences to help your child understand the concept. It’s also important for your child to understand that rights come with responsibilities, like the responsibility to treat other people with the respect they expect for themselves.

When you’re working on self-advocacy skills with your child, it’s good to encourage your child to communicate in a way that works for them. This might be gestures, hand signs, images or an alternative communication system.

How to help your child practise self-advocacy: examples

To be an effective self-advocate, your child needs opportunities to develop and practise their self-advocacy skills.

Here are examples of everyday practice opportunities.

Example 1: a medical appointment

You can help your child prepare what they want to say beforehand. They could make notes of words and phrases or prepare images that they can use to communicate. You could also role-play talking to the health professional so your child can practise what they want to say.

Example 2: family dinner at a restaurant

When you’re out for a meal with your child, encourage them to order for themselves. This could involve reading a menu independently, choosing something when you read the menu aloud, or pointing to a picture of what they want. You could also use a social story that covers things like reading the menu, asking the waiter for help and ordering.

Example 3: individual learning plans

Your child can play an active role in developing their individual learning plan or transition plan. This might include thinking about how they like to learn, what gets in the way of learning, or what they want to do when they finish school. They might want to prepare photos, video or drawings to express their views.

When self-advocacy goes well for your child, you can boost your child’s confidence by giving them descriptive praise. For example, ‘I really liked how calm you were when you told your sister she’d hurt your feelings’. Sometimes self-advocacy won’t go so well. In these situations, you can talk with your child about what happened and remind them that it’s OK to ask for help.

Self-advocacy in action

When your child sees other people self-advocate, it can help your child understand why these skills are important.

This can start with you. For example, if you’re having a hard day, tell your child how you’re feeling and let them know what you need. You might say, ‘I had a hard day at work, and I’m feeling sad. Could you give me 5 minutes alone please? That’ll help me feel better’.

You can also use the times that you advocate for your child as an opportunity to talk about self-advocacy.

And you can tell your child about times when you or a family member have used self-advocacy or point out examples of self-advocacy in movies.

If your child has a peer mentor at school, this can be good way for your child to see someone else communicating their needs and rights.

Self-advocacy skills can help your child stand up for their choices, cope with peer pressure and know when a problem needs adult help. This might include bullying – for example, bullying and children, bullying and teenagers, cyberbullying, or bullying and autistic children and teenagers.