Routines: autistic children and teenagers
Autistic children and teenagers often like the certainty and predictability of routines and rituals. They can find it difficult to cope with changes to routines.
This means your autistic child might need help to cope when their daily routines need to change.
Common changes or new situations might include:
- leaving the house
- having visitors at your house
- going somewhere new, like the dentist
- shifting attention between toys, activities or tasks, or moving from preferred to less preferred activities
- doing things in a different order – for example, having a bath at an unusual time
- wearing new clothes, like a new school uniform
- changing teachers or scheduled activities at school
- having a replacement teacher because their regular teacher is away
- not being able to finish activities
- cancelling activities – for example, not going to the park because of bad weather.
Explanations and instructions can be hard for autistic children and teenagers to follow, so just telling your child about a change might not always work. Visual strategies often work better.
Planning for expected changes in routines for autistic children and teenagers
You’ll know in advance about some transitions and changes to daily routines. You can prepare for these changes. Preparation can help your autistic child know what to expect and give them time to understand what’s happening. This might help your child cope better with change.
The strategies below can help with changes like leaving the house, going to a party or going to an appointment.
Social stories
Social stories are a good way to let your child know what’s going to happen in a way your child can understand.
For example, you can make a social story about going to the doctor. You could use pictures, words or both to describe leaving the house, arriving at the doctor’s, having a temperature taken and so on. Ending the story on a positive note is a good idea. For example, ‘When the appointment is finished, I get to play at the park’.
By letting your child know what to expect, you cut down on surprises. This might help your child feel less worried about the experience.
Timetables and visual schedules
Timetables and visual schedules are a simple way to let your child know what to expect and when. You could use pictures, words or both. For example, try using pictures of clocks to explain what time your child can expect a certain activity to happen.
Some children can get very upset if you tell them a birthday party will end at 3 pm and it doesn’t, or if they’re told the doctor’s appointment is at 10 am but they don’t get seen until 11 am. In these situations, it can help to use reference points like morning tea, lunch or after school rather than specific times. For example, if your child needs to have a bath earlier than normal, your timetable could show a picture of a bath before a picture of your child having dinner.
Older children and teenagers might like to use timetable or calendar apps for managing events and activities.
Extra time
Your child might feel less anxious if they can spend extra time thinking or talking about the change before it happens. For example, to help your child cope with someone coming to visit you at home, you could spend time with your child getting ready for the visit. You could talk about what will happen during the visit or look at pictures of what will happen.
Visits to new places
You might be able to arrange a visit to a new place, like a birthday party venue, ahead of time, perhaps during a quieter time of day. This way your child can get familiar with the environment without being overwhelmed by noise and people. You could also look for images of the place on the internet.
Timers
If your child finds it hard to switch from favourite activities, a timer might help. Set the time and let your child know the activity will be over when the timer rings. This strategy could also help with leaving the house. For example, ‘When the timer rings, it’s time to go’. Older children could set their own alarms on their phone, tablet or smart speaker.
A timer with a visual countdown can show your child how long there is until an activity ends or until they need to leave the house.
Slow and steady
If your child finds it hard to switch between activities, try making small changes and slowly adding new activities, one at a time.
For example, you might want your child to learn to stop what they’re doing and move to a new activity when you ask. You could start by making the new activity one you know your child will enjoy. When your child has done the activity, praise them and give a reward, like a high five, a sticker or extra time on the computer.
Keep doing this until your child is comfortable moving to the new activity when you ask. Then you could try making the switch more difficult, like moving to an activity your child hasn’t done before.
Keep practising until your child can move to new activities when you ask, even if they’re unfamiliar activities or things your child doesn’t like.
Gradual change
If you can, introduce just one change at a time. This way your child can process change at a pace that’s comfortable for them.
Coping strategies
Your child could try coping strategies like deep breathing, sensory or fidget toys, or music. Ask your child which strategies they find most helpful.
Professional support
Sometimes it might help to include other people in your plans for change. For example, your child’s teacher, doctor or psychologist might have tips for planning successful transitions.
Managing unexpected changes in autistic children’s routines
Sometimes changes are unexpected, and you don’t have time to plan for them. But you and your child can still prepare for coping with sudden or unexpected changes.
It starts with introducing a warning system for unexpected changes when your child is calm.
Adding a ‘?’ to your child’s schedule
One way to do this is to build ‘space’ for change into your child’s visual supports.
For example, if you use a visual schedule of activities for your child, you can leave gaps between each picture so you can put in other pictures later. You could use a question mark or ‘?’ to represent a ‘mystery’ or uncertainty. If your child has a written schedule, leave one blank line between each task.
You can use a step-by-step approach to help your child learn how the ‘?’ works. Your child can gradually learn to deal with pleasant change and then less pleasant change.
For example
- Go on an outing, placing a ‘?’ on the schedule. Make sure something fun for your child happens when it’s time to do the ‘?’ on the schedule. Praise your child for coping. Your child can learn that something unexpected can be a pleasant thing.
- Go on an outing without the ‘?’ on the schedule. At some point slip the ‘?’ into a gap on the schedule. Immediately bring out the fun surprise and praise your child for coping.
- Go on an outing without the ‘?’ on the schedule. At some point make an unplanned diversion. For example, a sibling wants to look at the pet shop, and it’s not on the schedule. Add in the ‘?’, reward your child for coping, and then get back to the schedule.
- Go on an outing without the ‘?’ on the schedule. Make an unplanned diversion that your child usually doesn’t enjoy – for example, visiting one extra shop. Show this by placing the ‘?’ in an appropriate gap in the schedule. When completed, reward your child for coping, and then get back to the schedule.
Once your child is familiar with the ‘?’, you can use it whenever there’s an unexpected change to show there’ll be a change to the schedule.
You could put this technique together with a social story to explain to your child that sometimes things don’t go exactly as it says in the schedule. You could include the things that your child can do when something doesn’t go according to plan. For example, ‘When things change, I can take 5 deep breaths or name all the Pokémon in alphabetical order in my head until I feel calm’.
Rewarding flexibility
Another simple way to help older children cope with change is to make a big deal of the concept of ‘flexibility’.
Praise or reward your child whenever they cope with a change or an unexpected event, like not getting a desired table number at a restaurant. Tell your child how wonderful it is that they’re ‘flexible’ and get your child to associate this skill with getting something they like, like positive attention.