Why are appointments with the doctor, dentist or hairdresser challenging for autistic children?

Many autistic children and teenagers have social and communication difficulties, a preference for routines and sensory sensitivities. This means that appointments with doctors, dentists, hairdressers or unfamiliar people in unfamiliar, busy or noisy places can be stressful and confusing for them.

For example, if your take your autistic child to an appointment with the GP when they should be at school, they might not understand what’s happening or why their routine has changed. Your child might feel very anxious and have trouble understanding and expressing their anxiety. And your child might express their anxiety by getting upset or frustrated, crying, hiding or trying to avoid the appointment.

How to prepare your autistic child for a visit to the doctor, dentist or hairdresser

If you prepare your autistic child for appointments with doctors, dentists, hairdressers and other people, this can reassure them that they’ll be safe in unfamiliar or confusing situations. Here are strategies you can use.

Develop skills

Make sure your child has the skills for a positive and successful appointment. For example, can they sit in a chair that reclines? Can they follow simple instructions like ‘Open your mouth’ or ‘Look at the light’? You can help your child learn or practise any skills they need before the appointment.

Prepare the professional

Talk to the doctor, dentist or hairdresser about your child’s needs before the appointment. Older children might like to speak to the professional themselves.

When you talk to the professional, you can explain your child’s sensory sensitivities, preferences and interests. If your child has trouble understanding what people say, you can mention this too. For example, you might say, ‘It helps if only one person speaks at a time. Please speak slowly, clearly, softly and calmly, and use simple language’.

Gradually introduce your child to the clinic or salon

Consider showing your child pictures of the clinic or salon before the appointment. Your child might be interested in seeing where it is on a map or driving past a few times before the appointment. You could say, ‘There’s the hairdresser. You’re going there on Wednesday’.

If possible, ask the professional whether you can visit briefly before the appointment to see the clinic or salon and meet the professional.

Choose a suitable appointment time

If your child finds waiting or busy spaces difficult, try to book the first appointment of the day. If your child needs time to settle before the appointment starts, you could ask for a longer appointment. You could also ask for an appointment on a quieter day or time in the week.

If your child copes better knowing about things in advance, mark the appointment in a calendar so they can see when the appointment will happen. If your child can’t read, use visual cues or pictures.

Use social stories

A social story can help your child understand what’s going to happen. You could read the story with your child every day for a few days before the appointment.

At the bottom of this article there’s an example of a social story for going to the hairdresser.

Use pictures, visual supports and video-modelling

You might use photos, videos, symbols, pictures, words or other visual supports to show your child what’s going to happen at the appointment.

For example, you could make a visual support with photos to show your child what will happen at the dentist. You might take photos of the dentist’s front door, waiting area, treatment room and a dental examination. Before you go, you can show this to your child.

You can also use this strategy during the appointment to show your child what will happen next. Ask the professional to put a sticker on the schedule at the end of each step and praise your child.

Video-modelling can help too. You could try looking at YouTube videos of people going to the dentist or hairdresser. Just remember to watch them yourself first to check they’re suitable for your child.

Read about where you’re going

There are many storybooks that can help you talk about going to the GP, dentist, hairdresser and other places. You should be able to find some at your local library or bookshop. For older children or teenagers, you could look at the GP’s, dentist’s or hairdresser’s website.

Watch someone else

You can help your child understand what’s going to happen by letting them watch someone else first. For example, they could watch a sibling or friend have a haircut. You might need to do this several times before your child feels comfortable to stay in the room or get into the hairdresser’s chair.

Visit an autistic-friendly provider or arrange a home visit

Consider choosing a hairdresser or other professional who regularly works with autistic children and teenagers.

A mobile hairdresser who comes to your home might also be a good idea. Your child can get their hair cut in a familiar place, without the sensory overload of a salon.

Occupational therapists, speech therapists and other professionals often offer in-home appointments, or you might be able to arrange a telehealth appointment.

Consider using a sedative

If your child gets distressed during dental appointments, the dentist might be able to prescribe a mild sedative for them. If your child gets very distressed and hurts themselves or others accidentally, they might be able to have work done under a general anaesthetic.

Get professional help

Psychologists and other professionals with experience in positive behaviour strategies and supports can work with your child to help them feel comfortable about going to appointments.

What to do while your autistic child is waiting to see the doctor, dentist or hairdresser

Waiting to see a doctor, dentist, hairdresser or other professional can be boring and frustrating. You could ask whether there’s a quiet waiting room or sensory space your child could use while they’re waiting.

It can also help to take a bag of things to do – for example, a couple of favourite small toys, a book or audiobook, favourite music, or apps on a phone or tablet. A snack and a drink are good ideas too.

You can also use these strategies during the appointment to distract your autistic child and help them feel more comfortable.

How to support your autistic child during their appointment

Remain calm

Try to stay calm, if you can. This will help to reassure your autistic child that everything is OK.

Be creative

Think about strategies that might help your child feel more comfortable during the appointment. For example, they might be able to sit on the floor or on your lap, wear headphones or sunglasses, sing their favourite song or talk about their special interest. Depending on the situation, you or the professional might be able to play a game like ‘I spy’ to distract or calm your child.

Manage stress

If you notice that your child is becoming overwhelmed, take a step back and think about the environment.

Are there any sensory triggers like overwhelming smells or sounds or too much talking? In this situation, let your child have a break while you think of a strategy with the professional.

A sensory item or toy like a soft teddy or a Rubik’s Cube might calm your child. It can also help to tell your child how long the appointment will take.

If your child gets too distressed during an appointment, it’s OK to stop and try again another day.

A social story about going to the hairdresser

Here’s an example of a social story for going to the hairdresser.

Everyone’s hair grows and needs cutting every few weeks. Usually, they go to a hairdresser to get their hair cut.

Many people I know get their hair cut, like Sam. Sam goes to the hairdresser every month.

At the hairdresser’s, people get their hair washed while sitting in a special chair, not in the bath like at home. Then the hairdresser asks them to sit in another chair and starts cutting their hair with scissors.

Sometimes the hairdresser uses clippers to cut people’s hair. These make a funny buzzing sound and can tickle. This is OK. The clippers don’t hurt.

The hairdresser will talk to me while they’re cutting my hair, and I can look at my reflection in the mirror.

When my haircut is finished, I will look fantastic.

You can personalise the story for your child and use language your child will understand. You can also build in possible changes in plans. For example, ‘I might have to wait until the hairdresser is ready to cut my hair’. This gives your child an idea of what to expect.