What are life skills for autistic children and teenagers?

Life skills are the skills autistic children and teenagers need to:

• care for themselves
• take part in family life
• take part in school and community activities.

Life skills are sometimes called daily living skills or independent living skills.

Examples of life skills for autistic children and teenagers

• Personal hygiene skills – for example, brushing teeth, showering, toileting, caring for skin
• Self-care skills – for example, choosing appropriate clothes and getting dressed
• Eating and food preparation skills – for example, making breakfast or a sandwich
• Skills for following routines – for example, getting ready for school or bed
• Household and family life skills – for example, feeding a pet, packing away toys or devices, helping with chores
• School, learning and organisational skills – for example, packing a school bag, moving between classes, doing homework
• Community and social skills – for example, doing drills at soccer training, catching a bus, having a haircut, paying for something at a checkout

Life skills might look different for different autistic teens, depending on their age, abilities and goals. For some, it might mean doing things independently or with only a few prompts. For others, it might mean communicating their preferences about how things are done or how they’re cared for.

Why are life skills important for autistic children and teenagers?

Life skills help your autistic child:

• build independence
• enjoy everyday life
• feel good about themselves.

How to teach life skills to your autistic child step by step

You can use step-by-step teaching to help your autistic child learn life skills.

This technique involves:

• breaking down skills into small tasks or steps
• teaching the steps one at a time
• helping your child when needed
• rewarding successes along the way.

Step 1: choose a goal

Whenever possible, involve your child in choosing goals. This will help you and your child choose a goal that:

• is useful, meaningful and achievable for your child
• suits your child’s interests, age and strengths
• meets your child’s motor, communication, sensory and support needs.

For example, if getting dressed is something that your child wants or needs support with, you might start with the goal of putting on just one piece of clothing, like a jumper.

Step 2: break down the task

Look at the task and break it into smaller parts.

For example, putting on a jumper is a series of smaller steps:

1. Pick up jumper.
2. Scrunch jumper.
3. Lift over head.
4. Put head through collar.
5. Put one arm in sleeve.
6. Put other arm in sleeve.
7. Pull down jumper.

Here’s another example for brushing teeth:

1. Pick up toothbrush.
2. Put toothpaste on brush.
3. Wet brush.
4. Brush teeth.
5. Spit out leftover toothpaste.
6. Rinse brush.
7. Put toothbrush in holder.

Step 3: teach each step

Once you’ve broken the skill or task into steps, you teach one step at a time. When your child has learned the first step, you teach the next step, and then the next. You keep going until your child can do the whole task.

Before you start, check whether any of the steps are too advanced for your child.

For example, it might be tricky for your child to hold or do up buttons. In this situation, you could teach getting dressed by using t-shirts without buttons. Your child can still learn the steps in getting dressed, and you can introduce buttons later.

Tips to help you teach each step

• Create plenty of opportunities for your child to practise.
• Use clear, simple language.
• Use teaching strategies that suit your child, like video modelling, visual supports or checklists.
• Prompt your child as much as they need, and then gradually reduce your prompts.
• Praise and encourage your child in ways they like – for example, high fives, hugs, stickers, a reward chart, or extra time doing a favourite activity.

It’s important for your autistic child to learn life skills in ways that work for them. This includes using their preferred communication method and choosing what they want help with and how much help they want.

Forwards or backwards teaching?

You can teach steps for life skills forwards or backwards.

Forwards teaching

Forwards teaching can be useful for some things, like remembering a phone number.

But with many tasks, even when your child is successful with the first step, there’s still a long way to go until the task is finished. For example, even when your child can pick up a jumper without help, there are still many steps until they can put on the jumper by themselves.

Backwards teaching

Backwards teaching is when you teach the last step first.

It works well because often the most rewarding thing about a job or task is getting it finished. There’s also likely to be a natural reward for finishing the last step – for example, ‘I finished putting on my shoes, so I can play now’.

Here’s how to use backwards teaching:

• Do the first steps for your child.
• Teach or help your child to complete the final step.
• Move backwards through the steps one at a time.
• Over time reduce the support you give your child in each step.

Who can help you with life skills for your autistic child?

An occupational therapist can help your child learn how to do everyday tasks and build life skills.