How to handle cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is when a person uses digital technology like the phone or internet to deliberately and repeatedly upset, frighten, threaten or hurt another person online.
Cyberbullying can be devastating for children’s and teenagers’ wellbeing. If your child is being cyberbullied, they need your love and support and the help of other trusted adults like teachers. This will help your child handle cyberbullying and get back to enjoying life.
You can help your child handle cyberbullying by:
- working through the GETRID steps together
- getting the school involved if appropriate
- showing your child love and support at home.
GETRID steps for children and teenagers
If your child is experiencing cyberbullying, it’s important for them to feel that they have the power to sort it out themselves. These 6 steps are a good way for your child to GETRID of cyberbullying.
You might need to help your child work through these steps, especially if they’re feeling overwhelmed or exhausted by the cyberbullying or they don’t know where to go for help.
1. Go block – but don’t delete
Blocking can stop the person who’s cyberbullying from posting offensive content about your child directly to your child. Your child can block someone by:
- tapping the phone number they want to block and then tapping ‘block’
- asking service providers to block the phone number
- following the ‘how to block’ instructions on the social media platform where the cyberbullying is happening.
2. Ensure you keep evidence
Save evidence of the cyberbullying. The best way to do this is by taking screenshots.
3. Tell someone
If your child shares their feelings about the cyberbullying with you or another trusted adult, an older sibling or a close friend, it can help them feel less isolated. The sooner they talk to someone the better.
4. Report abuse
You can usually report cyberbullying by clicking the ‘report abuse’ link on a website or social media app. The website or app will remove the offensive content, but this can take time. If the material isn’t removed in 48 hours, you can report it to the eSafety Commissioner.
If your child has been threatened, they should report it to the local police. If your child is being threatened or they’re in immediate danger, they or you should call 000.
5. Initiate control
Taking control of the cyberbullying situation can help your child feel safer. It involves reporting the abuse but not responding to or retaliating against the person who’s cyberbullying. Responding or retaliating can make things worse.
If your child feels the urge to respond, you can help your child calm down. You could also suggest your child does something relaxing, like going for a walk or doing muscle relaxation, breathing exercises or mindfulness exercises.
6. Delete offensive content
After you’ve saved evidence of the cyberbullying, delete, hide or mute the message or post. Don’t forward, repost or retweet a post.
Get professional help if your child seems distressed or withdrawn or doesn’t want to talk with you or another trusted adult. Your child can contact Kids Helpline – Teens on 1800 551 800, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or eheadspace on 1800 650 890. Your child can also talk to a GP.
Getting schools involved to sort out cyberbullying
If the person doing the cyberbullying is at your child’s school, you might need to get the school involved. It’s best to talk with your child about this and make sure they have a say in the process. It might help your child to know that telling a teacher is a good idea in this situation. And if the school has a policy on bullying, this can be a good place to start.
Our articles on Bullying in children and pre-teens: how to help and Teenage bullying: how to help explain how to work with teachers and schools.
Supporting children and teenagers who are experiencing cyberbullying
If your child is experiencing cyberbullying, your child needs your love and support at home.
This starts with listening and talking. Calm and caring conversations with you will help your child feel loved and supported. Here are ideas:
- Try active listening. Active listening will help you understand your child’s perspective and feelings. Jumping in too quickly to fix the problem can sometimes make it worse.
- Praise and thank your child for talking with you about the cyberbullying.
- Let your child know it’s natural and OK to feel upset about cyberbullying. Agree that it’s a problem, and make sure they know it’s not their fault.
- Let your child know that you’ll help and that there are practical steps they can take to handle cyberbullying.
- If your child doesn’t want to talk to you, suggest that they talk to another trusted adult, like a family friend or your child’s GP. Or they could call Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.
You can also show your child love and support in ways that they like. For example:
- Give your child a hug or a pat on the back.
- Tell your child you love them.
- Spend time together doing something your child enjoys.
And you can encourage your child to use coping strategies that work for them, like:
- spending time with friends.
- doing physical activity
- doing mindfulness or relaxation activities.
It’s best to avoid banning your child from using the internet or their mobile phone. This could make your child less likely to share their online problems with you. It can also isolate your child from supportive friends online.
Children and teenagers who’ve witnessed cyberbullying can also be hurt by it, even if they haven’t experienced it directly. You can support them in the same ways you’d support a child who’s been cyberbullied. And if you think your child is the one doing the bullying, it’s essential to help your child learn how to treat others with respect, both online and offline.