Parenting as a teenager

• email
• save PDF
• print

Profile
At a glance
The challenges
For further help

Profile

Pippa was 17 when she had Bessie. When her boyfriend left, three months later, she had to go back to work and put Bessie in care. Pippa is now 25 and Bessie is 7. They live in Melbourne, Victoria.

Pippa
‘I had just broken up from a two-year relationship with Bessie’s father when I found out I was four months pregnant. I was 17 at the time. Although we tried to get back together, it just didn’t work and we didn’t see each other for most of the pregnancy. After Bessie was born, her father made contact for the first six months, but after that, he just disappeared and I haven’t seen him since. 

‘I had a full-time job at the time and three months after Bessie was born, I returned to work. I had to. I didn’t have any support from my parents and Bessie went into child care. I had already been living out of home for a while and my parents freaked out – we didn’t have the best relationship at the time.

‘I coped because I had to. I didn’t have much help except from friends. But I didn’t find parenting as difficult as some people made it out to be. The hardest part was dealing with so many different bits of expert advice from books, other parents etc. Everyone has a different view on how children should be raised and I learnt that you can’t panic, you just have to trust your instincts in the end. Mind you, I think if I had a baby now, I’d be much more stressed than when I had Bessie. When she was a baby and she got sick I’d think "oh she’ll be right" and she always was. I think now I’d be much more aware.

‘One of the hardest parts of bringing Bessie up has been dealing with other people being judgemental. I am aware that at school other parents gossip and I know that Bessie suffers from this, I’ve discussed it with her teacher, the bullying and teasing from other kids. Sometimes I worry about how this is affecting her, but I guess all kids get it in some way at some point in their school lives.

‘At the end of the day though, we have a very special relationship. We are very close and we have excellent communication and Bessie understands that she can talk to me about anything if she wants to. My relationship with my parents has also improved a lot and they now play an active role in her life, which makes me just so happy.’

At a glance

• The teen birthrate is declining: there were 55.5 babies per 1000 teen mothers in 1971, and 16.3 in 2004.
• About 90% of teenage mothers are unmarried and 60% have no male partner when they give birth.
• The teenage birthrate in the Northern Territory is as high as 54 out of every 1000 and in Victoria as low as 5 out of every 1000.
• Unsupported teenagers are more likely to have health complications such as low birth weight and prematurity.
• If you can get some extra support, it can help you manage any academic or behavioural issues that your child might have.
• If you get a chance to continue your education, research shows that it will make it easier for you and your child in the long run.

The challenges

Teenagers get pregnant for all kinds of reasons. But they are more likely than older women to fall pregnant because they don't use birth control (they may think, 'I'll never get pregnant') or because they have romanticised ideas about having a baby.

Some teenagers are more likely to have a child than others, such as those teenagers who have:

• regular conflict in the family
• violence and sexual abuse in childhood
• a mother who was a young parent
• unstable housing arrangements 
• trouble performing at school
• a low socioeconomic background
• an absent father
• low self-esteem.

Being a parent can make it harder to get an education or find a job. Juggling the responsibilities of being a parent with work, school and a social life can be tiring. It can also be very difficult to get child care, and almost impossible to get affordable child care. For more information see Work & Family. These difficulties can make it hard to cope financially and can make parents feel lonely and apart from their family and friends.

On the other hand, teenage parents can find they have all the energy in the world to keep up with toddlers. They can also be better than older parents at dealing with the new lifestyle of being a parent; they're much better at dealing with little or no sleep, for example. But young parents who are still physically developing while pregnant can struggle with sustaining two growing bodies at once.

Some teenage parents might feel like they are so busy trying to cope with the rest of their life that they can't give their children enough attention. Because they might also have to worry about finishing their education or working or finding a job, they might not feel as though they can enjoy their children or feel as satisfied as much as older parents.

For further help

If you are a teenager and a parent, there are ways to help yourself and your child. Getting support from your family and friends and services in the community can help you cope with being a young parent.

• See if there is a way you can finish school if you haven’t already. This might mean studying at night while a partner, friend or parent minds your child. In the long run, having an education will help with your chances of finding a job and studying can help you to feel less lonely.
  
• If you can stay with your parents while your child is young, this may help you deal with the pressures of caring for your child or coping financially. Your parents might also be able to give you some backup when you need it, and even share some tips from when you were a baby.
  
• If you are on your own or living away from your family, find out what sorts of financial support you can get through Centrelink to help with living expenses and rent.
  
• Contact your local community centre for support groups for parents. These sorts of groups can provide emotional support as well as information on child development and health care.
  
• See if your local council can put you in touch with a counselling service. Counselling can help parents with their own issues as well as those associated with being a parent at a young age.
  
• Speak to different experts that you come in contact with, such as your doctor, community health nurse or other experts associated with child care, to learn about the best sort of home environment for your child and things such as nutrition, health and emotional development.
• The government Job Placement, Employment and Training program (JPET) can help you find work if you're struggling.

• Rated21 ratingsRate this item
• FeedbackTell us what you think of this item