Toddler development at 2-3 years: what’s happening

Feelings
This is one of the most important ages for emotional development.

Your toddler is going through many emotions while also learning about other people’s feelings. Tantrums are common, because your toddler can’t always communicate their needs. They often don’t know how to put words to strong emotions like frustration, anger, embarrassment, guilt and shame.

Your toddler is also starting to understand how their behaviour affects you and how your behaviour affects them. Your toddler might not get so upset when you leave them. But they’ll still want a lot of your attention and might cling to you when they’re tired or frightened – or just want a cuddle.

Talking
Around 2 years, toddlers might be able to use sentences of 2-3 words and say ‘I’, ‘you’ and ‘me’. Your toddler is learning and using a lot of words and might be easier to understand when talking.

At 3 years, toddlers can usually use sentences of 3-5 words, or even more. Your toddler starts learning how to take turns when speaking and might be able to have a short conversation with you.

Your toddler is learning how to talk about things that have happened during the day. With your help, your toddler might be able to put things in order to make a simple story – for example, ‘I go shop’. ‘And what did you do at the shop?’ ‘Buy milk.’ By 3 years, your toddler might be able to tell a simple ‘made-up’ story based on their own experiences, but it will probably be quite short.

At this age your toddler will also talk about people and objects that aren’t with them – for example, ‘Grandma at the shops’ or ‘My ball in tree’.

Thinking
Everything toddlers have learned so far has developed their thinking.

Your toddler is starting to understand concepts like time and opposites – for example, big/small and day/night. Your toddler is also starting to point to body parts based on what they do, sort objects, and match shapes and colours. And your toddler is starting to remember what some things look like – for example, apples look red and round.

Your toddler solves problems by trying things out.

Playing and learning
Play is important because it’s how children learn.

Your toddler enjoys playing with others, playing dress-ups, having tea parties, painting with their fingers or a brush, and playing ‘rough and tumble’. When your toddler plays with you or other children, you might find that your toddler is getting better at taking turns.

Telling stories, singing and reading are also fun things for your toddler to do at this age.

Everyday skills
Around this time, toddlers are keen to do more things for themselves.

For example, your toddler can probably wash their own hands, wash themselves at bathtime, feed themselves and get dressed – although your toddler is probably better at taking clothes off than putting them on! And your toddler is still learning, so you might still need to help.

You can build your toddler’s confidence and independence by letting them help you around the house with chores like sweeping or dusting. Your toddler feels very proud when they’re a good helper.

Your toddler might even be ready to start toilet training.

Moving
At this age, toddlers can run and will probably fall less. Your toddler is starting to walk up and down stairs on their own, putting both feet on each stair and using the rail or wall for balance. Your toddler can probably kick a ball and might even stand on one foot for a few seconds. Your toddler is better at throwing overarm and catching. They probably use their preferred hand to do these activities.

If you’re around while your toddler explores, they’ll feel reassured and safe. This helps your toddler build confidence to try new things and explore on their own.

With your toddler so active, it’s a good idea to look at how you can make your home safe. At this age, your toddler might also:

  • jump on the spot
  • ride a tricycle
  • recognise objects and name them
  • use one foot and then the other foot when walking up stairs.

Helping toddler development at 2-3 years

Here are simple things you can do to help toddler development at this age:

  • Give your toddler the chance to play with others: play is a great way for your toddler to learn how to be with other children, make friends and develop social skills like sharing and taking turns.
  • Spend time playing outdoors: being out and about with you lets your toddler explore the world and test out their growing physical skills. When you’re outside, remember to be safe in the sun.
  • Encourage everyday skills like using a spoon and putting on shoes. These skills involve both small and big muscle movements, as well as your toddler’s ability to think about what they’re doing.
  • Talk with your toddler: naming and talking about everyday things – body parts, toys and household items like spoons or chairs – develops your toddler’s language skills. At this age, you can teach your toddler that a ‘chair’ can be a ‘big chair’, a ‘red chair’ or even a ‘big red chair’.
  • Give meaning to your toddler’s talking by listening and talking back to them. If your toddler says ‘Mama milk’, you might reply by saying ‘You want Mum to get you some milk?’ This also makes your toddler feel valued and loved.
  • Read to your toddler: you can encourage your toddler’s talking and imagination by reading together, telling stories, singing songs and reciting nursery rhymes. These activities also help your toddler learn to read as they get older.
  • Do some cooking with your toddler: this helps your toddler to get interested in healthy food, learn some new words, and start to become familiar with maths concepts like ‘half’, ‘1 teaspoon’ or ‘30 minutes’. You can give your toddler simple cooking activities, like tossing a salad or putting together sandwiches.

When your toddler learns a new skill, celebrate the achievement with plenty of praise and positive attention. It’s also a good idea to help and encourage your toddler to keep doing the things they’ve learned, even if those things are difficult.

Parenting toddlers at 2-3 years

As a parent, you’re always learning. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s OK to admit you don’t know something and ask questions or get help.

It’s also important to look after yourself. Looking after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally is good for you, and it’s good for your toddler. When you’re well, you can give your toddler the loving attention they need to grow and thrive. You can also guide your toddler’s behaviour in positive ways, even when you find their behaviour challenging.

And remember that part of looking after yourself is asking for help, especially if you’re feeling stressed, anxious or angry. There are many people who can support you and your toddler, including your partner, friends, relatives, child and family health nurse and GP.

Never shake, hit or verbally abuse a toddler. You risk harming your child, even if you don’t mean to. If you feel like you can’t cope, it’s OK to take some time out until you feel calmer. Gently put your toddler in a safe place like a cot. Go to another room to breathe deeply, or call your state or territory parenting helpline.

When to be concerned about toddler development at 2 years

You know your toddler best. So it’s a good idea to see your child and family health nurse or GP if you have any concerns or notice that your 2-year-old has any of the following issues.

Seeing, hearing and communicating
Your toddler:

  • has trouble seeing or hearing things
  • isn’t putting 2 or more words together – for example, ‘Red car’ or ‘Me go too’
  • can’t follow simple instructions – for example, ‘Get your shoes, please’.

Behaviour and play
Your toddler:

  • doesn’t copy actions or words – for example, when singing ‘Heads, shoulders, knees and toes’
  • doesn’t pretend during play – for example, doesn’t pretend to feed a doll
  • isn’t showing feelings
  • doesn’t come to you for affection or comfort.

Movement and motor skills
Your toddler:

  • can’t walk up and down stairs, even if holding on to you or a rail
  • can’t run
  • finds it hard to handle small objects – for example, a pencil or crayon
  • isn’t scribbling or trying to draw.

When to be concerned about toddler development at 3 years

It’s a good idea to see your child and family health nurse or GP if you notice your 3-year-old has any of the following issues.

Seeing, hearing and communicating
Your toddler:

  • doesn’t look you in the eye
  • has trouble seeing or hearing things
  • isn’t using 3-word sentences
  • doesn’t understand 2-part instructions – for example, ‘Get your shoes, and put them in the box’
  • is often hard to understand when talking to you, family or friends.

Behaviour and play
Your toddler:

  • isn’t interested in other children
  • finds it difficult to separate from their primary caregiver
  • doesn’t pretend during play – for example, doesn’t pretend to play ‘shopping’ or ‘riding on the bus’.

Movement and motor skills
Your toddler:

  • can’t run
  • isn’t scribbling or drawing
  • finds it hard to handle small objects – for example, a pencil or crayon.

See a child health professional if your toddler loses skills they had before.

It’s also a good idea to see your child and family health nurse or GP if you or your partner experiences the signs of postnatal depression in birthing mothers or postnatal depression in non-birthing parents. Signs of postnatal depression include feeling sad and crying for no obvious reason, feeling irritable, having difficulty coping and feeling very anxious.

Development usually happens in the same order in most children, but skills might develop at different ages or times. If you’re wondering whether your toddler’s development is on track, or if you feel that something isn’t quite right, it’s best to get help early. See your child and family health nurse or GP.

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