What are traumatic events for children and teenagers?

Traumatic events are sudden, unexpected and shocking experiences that can make children and teenagers feel scared, distressed or overwhelmed.

These events include bushfires, car accidents or the sight of someone who’s badly hurt.

Events can be scary or distressing for children, but these events might not always be traumatic. It depends on how children experience them. For example, a bushfire might be traumatic for a child if they think they’re going to die. But another child might not experience the bushfire in the same way.

How traumatic events affect children and teenagers

The way that a traumatic event affects children and teenagers depends on things like:

• age
• personality and temperament
• experience of scary or distressing events in the past
• support from family, friends and school.

The effects of a traumatic event also depend on:

• how children and teenagers understand it
• how distressed they feel during and after it
• how prepared they felt beforehand
• how much control they had over their own safety.

Some children and teenagers might be very upset following a traumatic event, but most of them cope with support and recover over time.

What to do for your child immediately after a traumatic event

If your child has experienced a traumatic event, the top priorities are your child’s physical and emotional safety and wellbeing.

Essential steps

• Check your child for signs of shock and injury.
• Help your child feel safe.
• Reassure your child they’re safe, if possible.

Important steps

• Try to stay calm and model coping behaviour.
• Check what your child has seen or heard, and correct misunderstandings.
• Monitor your child’s exposure to media coverage of the event.

Handling signs of shock

Shock is caused by injury or sudden fright, so it’s common after traumatic events.

Shock caused by a sudden fright doesn’t need immediate medical treatment. But seek medical attention if the shock doesn’t go away.

Signs of shock

• Pale or clammy skin
• A weak or rapid pulse or dizziness
• Lack of response

What to do if your child is in shock and injured

Go to your nearest hospital or call an ambulance on 000.

What to do if your child is in shock but isn’t injured

• Comfort your child and reassure them that they’re safe.
• Keep your child warm and dry.
• Offer food and drink at usual times.

It’s natural for children to have smaller appetites when they’re upset. Make sure your child stays hydrated, even if they don’t want much to eat or drink.

Helping your child feel safe

• Spend time with your child. If you can’t be with them, make sure they’re with someone else who makes them feel safe.
• Show your child affection in ways they like – for example, a hug, a pat on the shoulder or a high five.
• Let your child know that you and other people are there to look after and support them.
• If your child wants to talk, listen patiently. Gently answer your child’s questions as best you can, but be honest. For example, ‘I don’t know what has happened to our house. But you and I are OK’.
• Comfort or reassure your child if they see the place where the traumatic event happened or something else reminds them of it.
• Give older children and teenagers time and space to talk with their friends if they need to – for example, online or on the phone.

A safe space for yourself and your child is important. If your child is younger, it might be a supervised area to play games, draw and read. For older children and teenagers, a safe space could be somewhere they can listen to music or just hang out.

Staying calm and modelling coping behaviour

• Try to show your child calm and positive ways to cope. Talk about how you feel or felt. For example, ‘Yes, I was scared when that car crashed into us, but we’re safe now’. If you can stay calm, it’ll help your child to feel calm too.
• Encourage your child to spend time with adults and children who are calm.
• Help your child understand other people’s distress. For example, ‘That man is upset so he can’t calm down just yet. Someone is going to talk to him and help him to calm down’.
• Tell your child the things that help you manage strong feelings and ask them what helps them. For example, this might be a cuddle, a special toy or a pet.

Deciding what your child needs to know

• Be honest about the wellbeing of others. If a family member or friend is injured, has died or is missing, talk about this tough topic with your young child or have this difficult conversation with your teenage child.
• Try to explain the event in a way that gives your child the truth without scaring them. For example, ‘Aunty Lena has gone to hospital in the ambulance. The paramedics are using special equipment to help her breathe right now’.
• Check that your child understands what has happened, and encourage them to ask questions.
• If you don’t know the answer to a question, say so. Tell your child that you’ll try to find more information.

Monitoring your child’s exposure to media coverage

• Ask your child whether there’s anything they want to know.
• Let your child know that you’ll share information with them when you get it.
• Help your toddler or preschooler cope with disaster news by limiting what they see and hear in the media. Make time to listen and explain anything they’ve seen or heard in ways they can understand.
• Help your school-age child cope with disaster news by giving them accurate, age-appropriate information, plus opportunities to talk.
• Help your teenage child cope with disaster news by talking with them about what they’re seeing in the media and where they’re getting their information from. You can explain that seeing a lot of coverage of the event might make them feel stressed or upset.

Getting support after traumatic events

It’s common to feel stressed after a traumatic event – for example, you and your child might think about it a lot. You’ll probably feel better with time. You can read more about supporting your child in the days and weeks after a traumatic event and looking after yourself after a traumatic event.

Sometimes you or your child might need extra support to feel better. In this situation, you can ask your GP or child and family health nurse about seeing a psychologist, counsellor or other specialist support service. You can also contact parenting helplines.

Organisations that can support you and your child

• Beyond Blue – phone 1300 224 636, 24 hours, 7 days.
• Kids Helpline – phone 1800 551 800, 24 hours, 7 days.
• Lifeline Australia – phone 131 114, 24 hours, 7 days.
• MensLine Australia – phone 1300 789 978, 24 hours, 7 days.

Resources

Emerging Minds – Community Trauma Kit – this toolkit has information to help people understand and respond to some of the effects of a disaster or traumatic event.

It’s understandable if it’s hard for you to stay calm or you need to talk about the trauma a lot. But it might be best for your child if you can protect them from some of your distress. Try asking a trusted friend to be a supportive listener for you. Pick a time when your child is being supervised by someone else, so you can talk as much as you need to.