Why support for parents is important

Parenting is an important job. Looking after yourself will help you do the job well. An essential part of looking after yourself is getting support for your parenting.

All parents need formal and informal support from others at times.

Benefits of seeking and accepting support as a parent

• You’ll be relaxed and healthier, which means you’re better able to look after your child.
• You set a good example for your child. If your child sees you getting support, they’ll be more likely to ask for help if they need it.
• You show other people that they’re valued and needed. People often like to be asked for help – it makes them feel they’re special to you.

Parents can benefit from 3 kinds of support – practical support, emotional or personal support, and information or advice.

Practical support for parents

This is help with the day-to-day tasks involved in raising children and running a family – for example, help with looking after children, finances, emergencies, transport, household tasks, shopping and so on.

Where can you get practical support as a parent?

People who can provide practical support to you as a parent include:

• your extended family
• your friends and neighbours
• parents of your children’s friends.

If your child is autistic or has disability or other additional needs, you can look into specific types of practical support for your child and family. For example, you might be able to get funding to employ a support worker.

You could also look at government services for families.

Emotional and personal support for parents

This is support for you as a person – for example, someone to listen to your concerns and frustrations or someone to have fun with. This type of support is likely to come from family and friends.

Where can you get emotional support as a parent?

The most valuable emotional support comes from people who are willing to listen, share ideas and advice, talk things over in positive and non-judgmental ways, and keep what you say to themselves.

It can really help to find someone who’s in the same position as you. You could find friends with common interests through parents groups or your child’s kindergarten or school.

Religious leaders or community elders might also be a source of emotional and personal support.

It’s OK not to seek support from people who cause you tension and stress. It’s also OK to say no to their offers of help.

Parenting information and advice

You can get information and advice from professionals, family, other parents, friends, neighbours and more.

Sources of information and advice

• Parenting education groups, support groups, playgroups and groups for children with disability, like MyTime
• Preschools or schools
• Libraries
• Child and family health nurses
• Child health services
• Trusted and reliable online sources

Information from friends, family, social media or online sources might not always be accurate. If you’re not sure about any advice, check with your GP or another medical or parenting professional. And try to use reliable online information from recognised organisations like the Australian Psychological Society or Beyond Blue. You can also rely on online sources that publish evidence-based information, like raisingchildren.net.au.

How to ask for support as a parent

When you need to ask for support, it’s OK to let people know exactly what will help. Sometimes you might also need to say what won’t help.

Tips

• If you need someone to listen but you don’t need advice or solutions, just say so. Friends and family members will usually understand.
• Share tasks with other parents. For example, if you don’t drive, another parent you trust might offer to drive your child and their own to sport each week. In return, you could offer to walk the children home from school.
• Ask your child’s teacher about what you can do at home to help with your child’s schoolwork.
• Ask someone to exercise with you, or offer to exercise with someone. For example, you could make a date to go for a walk together with your child.
• Ask a professional like your child and family health nurse or GP about reliable online or other information sources.

A parent support network is a list of the people and organisations you can call on for support and the types of support they can offer. Our support network activity can help you work out where to get support, who can support you and how to expand your support.

What to do when you need more support

There might be times when you feel that you don’t have the support you need.

This might be because:

• the people around you aren’t helpful
• you live a long way from your family
• you’re separated from your child’s other parent.
• you’re going through changes, like returning to work, changing jobs or your child starting school.

If this sounds like your situation, it’s a good idea to think about what other supports you could draw on.

Tips for getting new or different support

• Join a new parents group at your child and family health clinic or community centre.
• Chat to other parents at the park or at your local playgroup or preschool.
• Go to story time sessions at your local library.
• Attend or get involved in events at your child’s school, sports club or other activity.
• Join an online forum where you can chat with other parents.

As you think about where and how to get support, you can also think about how you can support others. Supporting others is a great way of creating a support network. When you offer or ask for help, others feel that they can ask you for help in return.

When you need professional help as a parent

There’ll be times when you need more formal support. For example, it’s always best to check with a professional if you’re:

• worried about any aspect of your child’s health, development or behaviour
• still having trouble even after trying strategies suggested on this website, in books or by friends or family
• having persistent feelings of depression, anger or resentment towards your child
• feeling very worried, angry or upset and it’s affecting your relationship with your partner
• frequently fighting with your partner, having fights that you can’t resolve, or experiencing violence in your relationship.

Where to get professional support

• Your GP
• Community health centres
• Child and family health nurses
• Parent and family support organisations
• Online and telephone counselling services like Lifeline
• A parenting helpline in your state or territory.

If you have particular support needs, you can look into child and parent disability services, multicultural services, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander services and the NDIS.