Anxiety and your teen with disability or a chronic condition: 12-18 years

What is anxiety in teenagers?

Anxiety is the feeling of worry, apprehension or dread that comes from thinking that something bad is going to happen or that you can’t cope with a situation. And it’s the physical reactions like ‘butterflies in the stomach’, tension, shakiness, nausea and sweatiness. It’s also behaviour like avoiding what’s causing the anxiety or wanting a lot of reassurance.

Anxiety can happen in response to a specific situation or event, but it continues after the situation has passed. Anxiety can happen without a specific situation or event too.

Anxiety is very common in the pre-teen and teenage years. It’s a natural reaction to the emotional, physical and social changes and challenges of adolescence.

When anxiety is intense, lasts a long time or starts to interfere with everyday life – like school, friendships, sleep or family time – it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Is anxiety a disability?

An anxiety disorder can be considered a disability under Australian law. For an anxiety disorder to be considered a disability, there needs to be evidence that it:

is severe
is long term
has a substantial effect on everyday life.

How does anxiety affect teenagers with disability or chronic conditions?

Teenagers with disability or chronic conditions are more likely than their peers to experience anxiety and anxiety disorders, especially if their disability or condition is unpredictable or significantly affects their daily lives.

These teens might also have learning difficulties, intellectual disability or difficulties with social understanding that make it harder for them to understand what’s happening around them.

Teenagers with disability or chronic conditions might feel anxious or worry about:

having medical procedures like blood tests
missing out on school, friendships or romantic relationships
being bullied or judged
feeling different because of their disability or condition
not achieving what they want in life or not knowing what the future holds
being burdens on their families
getting sicker, relapsing or dying.

These worries can sometimes get in the way of children sticking to treatments or activities that they need to do to stay healthy.

If your child is feeling anxious, it might show up as withdrawal, irritability, panic, shutdowns or perfectionism. Or your child might have physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches.

How to help your teen manage anxiety: tips

There are many practical ways to help your child manage anxiety.

Many of these are things you’d do for all teenagers with anxiety:

Acknowledge your child’s fears.
Encourage them to do things they feel anxious about in ways that are safe and appropriate for their condition.
Listen actively when they want to talk about feelings.

There are also extra things you can do to help your teen with disability or a chronic condition.

Emotions

If you help your child learn how to manage their emotions, it will build their confidence for managing their anxiety. You can let them know it’s OK to feel frustrated, angry or scared about having to cope with things their peers don’t have to put up with.

Here are emotional management strategies for your child to try:

Do breathing techniques or grounding exercises.
Use sensory tools like noise-cancelling headphones or weighted items.
Listen to music, write in a journal, or draw.
Use helpful thinking and self-talk strategies
Work on skills for problem-solving.
Practise self-compassion when they’re having a hard time.

Your teen’s condition

Make sure your child has reliable and developmentally appropriate information about their health condition or disability.
Talk regularly with your child about their condition and answer their questions. It’s a good idea to do this a couple of days before or after health appointments.
Find ways to give your child choices. For example, perhaps your child could design a menu to suit their medical diet or choose when to exercise.
Help your child learn to manage their own health care. For example, you could start by giving your child time alone with health professionals or helping them schedule their medical appointments.
Try to make procedures less stressful. You might be able to make home treatments part of family routines like getting ready for dinner. Or you could suggest distractions, like listening to music.

Family and peer relationships

Spend time with your child doing activities that they enjoy.
Be consistent in the way you use family rules and consequences with all your children.
Help your child find a peer network for teenagers with disability or chronic conditions. This could be a face-to-face group or online.
Help your child develop a plan to keep up with schoolwork and friends when they’re away for treatments.
Talk with your child about whether they want to tell their friends about their condition – and if so, how and when they want to do it.

When to be concerned about your teen’s anxiety

For most teenagers, anxiety comes and goes quite quickly. But for some, anxiety doesn’t go away or is so intense that it stops them from doing everyday things, like separating from their parents, enjoying social events or getting blood tests.

You might consider seeing your GP or another health professional if your child:

constantly feels nervous, anxious or on edge, or they can’t stop or control worrying
has anxious feelings that go on for weeks, months or even longer
has anxious feelings that interfere with their schoolwork, socialising, medical procedures and everyday activities.

If your child is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, it might help to know that these disorders usually respond well to professional treatment. And the earlier they’re treated, the less likely they are to affect young people’s mental health and development in the long term.

Who can help your teen with anxiety?

You can get professional help for your child’s anxiety from:

a school counsellor
a psychologist or counsellor
a GP
your local community health centre
local mental health services.

If you don’t know where to go, your GP can guide you to the most appropriate services for your family. You can also find helpful information on our teens mental health services page.

Your child might not want to talk to you about how they’re feeling, or they might say there’s nothing wrong. Your child could call Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 or use the Kids Helpline webchat counselling service. Your child could also call Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or headspace on 1800 650 890.

Financial support for teenagers with anxiety and disability

Your child might be able to get Medicare rebates for up to 10 sessions with a mental health professional each calendar year. To get these rebates, your child will need a mental health treatment plan from a GP or a referral from a psychiatrist or paediatrician.

If your child is an NDIS participant, you can contact the NDIS to find out whether you can include support for anxiety in your child’s plan.

Looking after yourself

It’s important to look after yourself. If you’re meeting your own needs, you’ll be better able to meet your child’s needs.

Here are ways to look after yourself:

Contact a support program for parents of children with disability or chronic conditions.
Talk to your GP.
Look into respite care so you can have a break.