What are children doing at 6-8 years?

Playing and socialising

Your child’s play is complex now. Your child:

  • is better at telling the difference between fantasy and reality
  • might play out ideas they’ve come across at school or in the media – for example, they might pretend to be a scuba diver, a rock star or the Prime Minister
  • copes better with games that involve rules, as well as with winning, losing and playing fair
  • enjoys making friends and being a friend
  • might take more interest in their appearance and in clothing or hairstyle trends.

Friendships give children a sense of belonging and help them learn and practise basic social skills like sharing and negotiating. But friendships can also be challenging because friends can sometimes be bossy or cross. Sometimes friends might even leave your child out. Most of your child’s relationships will be positive, but keep an eye out for signs of bullying.

Feeling

Children want to please the important adults in their lives, like parents and teachers. So your child might:

  • be focused on doing things the ‘right way’
  • seem over-confident
  • be easily embarrassed and sensitive to other people’s views and beliefs
  • have a lot of empathy when family and friends are distressed
  • be very self-critical and need your help to focus on the things they do well.

Children will also be more aware of what others are doing. This might lead to comparisons like ‘They’re better at drawing than me’ or complaints about siblings getting more of something.

You might notice that your child is more aware of disaster news and distressing news events. This growing awareness can cause some anxiety and fear, so talking about tough topics can help your child make sense of things.

Thinking and learning

Your child:

  • asks a lot of questions
  • is starting to understand the relationship between cause and effect
  • might do experiments to see how things work – for example, they might fill up the toilet with soap and flush it
  • is starting to see how their actions affect other people
  • can group objects according to size, shape and colour
  • has a good understanding of numbers and can do simple adding and subtracting
  • can write numbers and words more accurately but might still confuse some letters, like b/d and p/g
  • has better reading than spelling skills
  • is starting to understand the value of money and enjoys counting and saving.

There’s a lot happening at this age, so you might notice that your child gets distracted easily and forgets small requests and instructions from you.

Talking and communicating

Your child:

  • can follow more complex instructions
  • uses language to explore their thoughts and feelings
  • has longer and more complex conversations
  • might enjoy telling jokes
  • might talk up their skills – for example, ‘I can eat 10 hamburgers at once!’
  • can be easily understood by other people.

By 8, your child can probably:

  • voice opinions
  • tell stories with plenty of energy and emotion
  • follow a simple recipe
  • write stories based on daily life
  • write an email or instant message
  • read independently in bed at night.

The average 8-year-old learns about 20 new words each day, mostly through being read to or reading.

Moving

At this age, kids enjoy testing their physical limits, which helps them develop and improve their gross motor skills. For example, your child can probably:

  • run in a zig-zag pattern
  • jump down steps
  • do cartwheels
  • catch small balls
  • run to kick a ball or skip while turning a rope.

Physical skills will depend on how often your child practises them. Organised sports like dance classes, tennis and soccer all help, but plenty of opportunities to run, kick, throw, cartwheel and more are just as important.

Fine motor skills are well developed now too. For example, your child can cut out irregular shapes and write smaller letters inside the lines in schoolbooks.

Becoming independent

At this age, your child is becoming even more independent in many different areas. For example, by 8 years of age, your child can brush their teeth and do other daily hygiene tasks without your help.

Your child might:

  • have their own interests, like collecting footy cards, stickers or small figurines
  • express their own views on whether things are right or wrong
  • want more say in what they can and can’t do
  • enjoy doing more chores around the house – at least sometimes!

No matter how independent your child wants to be, spending time with you is still important to them.

How can you help your child grow and develop between 6 and 8 years?

Work on self-esteem

Sometimes children’s self-esteem goes down in the primary school years as they become more self-critical and compare themselves with others. Recognising your child’s strengths can help with this.

If your child sees you trying new things and making mistakes, this can help them understand that this is how learning happens. The key thing is to be kind to yourself and keep trying.

Make learning part of everyday life

You can give your child opportunities to explore and learn, inside and outside your home. Inside they can experiment with things like cups, thermometers, magnifying glasses and jars for storing things. Outside you could explore your local park or nature reserve together.

Keep playing

Play can include outdoor play, imaginative and creative activities, physical play and more.

Your child will still enjoy playing with you. Playing together each day gives you the chance to enter your child’s world and find out about their thoughts and feelings. It also shows your child that you care about them and want to spend time together.

Your child might also enjoy playdates with other children, especially kids from school.

It’s important for your child to have time for free play too.

Digital play can spark your child’s imagination. But it’s important to balance digital technology use with other play and everyday activities that are good for development.

Get moving

Physical activity can be everyday activities like walking to school. Or it might be organised sport or playground or backyard games. Physical activity is important for your child’s wellbeing.

As your child tests their physical limits, keep checking that your home is safe.

Read together

Reading together is still very important for your child’s literacy. As your child learns to read, try having your child read to you. You can also try literacy activities like telling stories or making your own book.

Share and discuss ideas

This helps you connect with your child and learn from them too. It shows that you’re interested in and respect your child’s ideas, which helps to develop their self-esteem. As your child gets older, let them join in family decision-making when appropriate.

You can also encourage your child to see things from other people’s points of view. You can do this by asking questions like, ‘How do you think Jay feels when you do that?’

When kids behave in positive ways, it’s good for their learning, development, health and wellbeing. Behaviour tips and strategies can help.

Parenting a school-age child and looking after yourself

As a parent, you’re always learning. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s OK to admit you don’t know something and ask questions or get help.

It’s also important to look after yourself. Looking after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally is good for you, and it’s good for your child. When you’re well, you can give your child the loving attention they need to grow and thrive.

Part of looking after yourself is asking for help, especially if you’re feeling stressed, anxious or angry. There are many people who can support you and your child, including your partner, friends, relatives and GP. It’s a good idea to have a list of these people with their contact details. Put the list on your fridge, so it’s easy to find if you need it.

Never shake, hit or verbally abuse a child. If you feel like you can’t cope or you might hurt your child, gently put them somewhere safe. Take deep breaths to calm down. Get support by talking to a family member or friend or by calling a parenting helpline or Lifeline on 131 114.

When to be concerned about child development at 6-8 years

You know your child best. So it’s a good idea to see your GP if you have any concerns or notice that your child has any of the following issues at 6-8 years.

Communication and understanding

Your child:

  • has a stutter or lisp when talking
  • has difficulty following instructions.

Behaviour and play

Your child:

  • finds it hard to make friends
  • can’t skip, hop or jump
  • has trouble sitting still for a long time
  • is aggressive with other children
  • doesn’t show empathy – for example, doesn’t try to comfort others who are hurt or upset
  • seems to be afraid of going to school or refuses to go to school.

Everyday skills

Your child:

See a child health professional if your child has lost skills they once had.

Development happens in a similar order in most children, but skills might develop at different ages or times. If you’re wondering whether your child’s development is on track, or if you feel that something isn’t quite right, it’s best to get help early. See your GP.

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