What to do if your child experiences racism

How to support your child if they experience racism

Racism can harm children’s health, spirit, wellbeing and development. If your child experiences racism, your support can reduce the harm and help your child develop resilience.

How to support your child

Tune in to your child’s feelings. You can do this by stopping, listening to what your child is saying and reflecting their feelings. For example, ‘It makes sense that you feel angry. I’d feel the same if someone did this to me’.
Praise your child for telling you what happened.
Tell your child that what happened isn’t their fault.
Let your child know that they can come to you whenever they want to talk.
Remind your child of their strength and everything that makes them proud of their identity.
Ask someone who has experienced racism to talk about how they handled it – for example, a family member or a trusted adult in your community. This might help your child feel less alone while learning how to respond to racism.

How to take action

Make sure your child is safe. Contact the police if you’re worried about your child’s safety.
Help your child build positive connections with their culture. For example, visit the Islamic Museum of Australia or celebrate Chinese New Year or Diwali.
Keep detailed records of racist incidents. This includes what happened, when, who was involved including witnesses, and what has happened since. Also keep evidence like emails or screenshots.
Take any safe action your child feels comfortable with. For example, you could talk to the people involved, talk to an Aboriginal health worker or a community cultural worker, or take your child to see a GP. You might need to advocate for your child.
Make a report or complaint, if this feels safe. For example, you could complain to the school, the sports club committee, the social media service provider, the organisation’s management or customer services team, or the Australian Human Rights Commission.

How to deal with racism at school

School is one of the places that children commonly experience racism. The racism might come from students, teachers or parents.

If your child is experiencing racism from anyone at school, it’s important to address it with the school as soon as you can.

First, make an appointment with a school representative. This might be your child’s teacher, a year coordinator, an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander education officer, or a multicultural education officer.

How to prepare for the meeting

Let your child know that you’re going to involve the school and explain why this is important. For example, ‘I’m going to talk to your teacher about what happened so that we can work together to make it stop. This will help keep you and other children safe’.
Ask your child whether they’d like to be at the meeting. Also ask what your child wants you to say.
Plan what you want to say. You could make notes to take with you.
Consider whether you’d like to bring a support person with you, like another trusted adult.

How to talk with the school representative

Calmly explain the incident to the school representative and share any evidence you have.
Ask how the school plans to address the racism and stop it happening in the future.
Ask for a copy of the school’s discrimination policy. Ask how the policy will be put into action in your child’s situation.
Write down what you and the school discuss and agree on.
End the meeting with a plan for managing the situation and a time for a follow-up meeting.

What to do after the meeting

If your child wasn’t at the meeting, explain to them what happened at the meeting.
Check that your child is OK with any decisions made at the meeting.
Summarise the action plan in writing and send this summary to the school – for example, by email. Include a note that everyone involved has agreed to the plan.
Keep in touch with the school representative.
If the school doesn’t have clear and appropriate anti-racism policies and practices, ask the school to make changes. For example, the school could include clear anti-racism policies, practices and staff training in its discrimination policy.

What if your concerns aren’t addressed?

If you feel the school representative hasn’t addressed the racism appropriately, you can take the issue to your school’s leadership team or principal.

If you still feel that your concerns aren’t being addressed, you can seek advice from:

the education department in your state or territory (for public schools)
your school’s board of governors (for independent schools)
the Catholic Education Commission in your state or territory (for Catholic schools).

It’s a good idea to have frequent and age-appropriate conversations about racism with your child, not just when they experience racism. This helps your child develop anti-racist attitudes and prepare for witnessing or experiencing racism. It also shows your child that it’s safe to talk to you about racism and other tough topics.

How to deal with racism in other settings

Children experience racism in settings other than schools too – for example, sports clubs or shops.

You can adapt the steps for dealing with racism at school to other settings. For example:

If the racist incident happened during your child’s sports match, report it to the venue or sports club.
If it happened online, report it to the social media service provider or the eSafety Commissioner.
If it happened in a shopping centre, report it to the centre management.

Your child might feel ashamed or afraid to talk to you about their experiences of racism. If this sounds like your situation, you could suggest that your child talks to another trusted adult, like an elder, cousin, family friend or the Aboriginal and Islander education officer or multicultural education officer at school. Or your child could call Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.

Professional help for your child

Children and young people who experience racism can have health and wellbeing problems.

It’s important to seek professional help if your child shows signs of childhood mental health problems or teenage mental health problems after experiencing racism. These signs include mood, behaviour, sleep or physical health changes that go on for more than a few weeks.

You could start by talking to a trusted GP or Aboriginal health worker. They can refer you to appropriate professionals and services – for example, a local counsellor or psychologist.

It’s best if you can choose a professional who knows how to help children who’ve experienced racism. Most professionals outline their experience and skills on their websites. And some organisations can recommend certain professionals for racism issues. You can also ask professionals directly. For example, ‘What experience do you have working with children experiencing racism?’ or ‘How do you commit to anti-racism within your practice?’

You might consider seeking legal advice if:

your child’s safety is at risk
violence or criminal offences have occurred
a person or organisation has treated your child unfairly or unreasonably.

You can also make a discrimination complaint to:

your Commonwealth Ombudsman
the Australian Human Rights Commission
your state or territory’s anti-discrimination commission.

If you or your child are ever in immediate or life-threatening danger, call emergency services on 000 straight away.

Looking after yourself

It’s upsetting to find out that your child is experiencing racism. It’s also upsetting if the racist incident involves you or triggers memories of your own experiences.

Looking after yourself can help you cope with your family’s experiences of racism. And if you look after yourself, you’ll be better able to support your child.

Here are ways to look after yourself:

Talk to friends or family about how you’re feeling.
Ask for and accept practical help from family and friends – for example, help with household tasks. This can give you more time to relax and look after yourself.
Search online for a local or online support group where you can meet people who’ve had similar experiences.
Contact a parenting helpline for support.
Look after your physical health. This includes eating well and exercising, resting and connecting with Country when you can.
Try breathing exercises, muscle relaxation or mindfulness to relax and reduce stress.

If you’re struggling to cope, see your GP or a health worker in your community. They can refer you to a mental health professional or connect you with other appropriate services.

If you’ve experienced racism, you could talk with your child about your experience openly and in an age-appropriate way. For example, you could describe your feelings and what you did or are doing to cope. This can help your child learn how to handle their own experiences of racism.