What to expect after your partner gives birth

The moment your baby is born and the hours after birth can be very special, but there’s usually a lot going on too. What happens straight after birth will depend on how your baby is born and whether your baby and partner are well.

To get ready for this time, you and your pregnant partner could talk together during pregnancy about how you’d like to spend the first few hours. For example, you might talk about:

• making sure your baby has skin-to-skin contact with your partner
• letting your partner rest and start recovering from birth
• supporting your partner with breastfeeding if possible
• supporting your partner with bottle-feeding if breastfeeding isn’t possible.

It’s also worth talking about how and when to contact your family and friends and when to have visitors.

Why skin-to-skin contact after birth is important

In the hour immediately after birth, skin-to-skin contact is good for your baby. It can help with:

• keeping your baby warm
• stabilising your baby’s heart rate and breathing rate
• keeping your baby’s blood sugar at the right level
• giving your baby protective bacteria
• bonding
• breastfeeding.

It’s best for babies to have skin-to-skin contact with their birthing mother. While your partner has skin-to-skin contact, you could place your hand on your baby or let your baby hold your finger. And if your partner can’t have skin-to-skin contact, your baby will benefit from having skin-to-skin contact with you.

Even if your baby needs extra care or has to go to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) or special care nursery after birth, you can still have skin-to-skin contact. Skin-to-skin contact with a sick or premature baby might start with holding your baby’s hand or putting your cupped hands on your baby’s head, feet, bottom or back. Ask the NICU staff about having skin-to-skin contact with your baby.

As your baby grows and develops in the weeks after birth, skin-to-skin contact might help with settling and sleep, brain development, soothing and bonding.

When your baby is awake, your baby will want to be held so that they can see your face or your partner’s face. The combination of being held and seeing your face stimulates your baby’s brain and makes your baby feel calm and safe.

How to help your partner recover from birth

Your partner, your baby and you will all need to recover from the physical effects and emotions of the birth.

But after giving birth, your partner in particular will need time to rest and recover. This is because your partner will probably:

• feel very tired
• have vaginal bleeding
• feel sore around the vagina or caesarean wound
• have afterpains and nipple or breast tenderness.

One of the best ways to help your partner rest and recover from either vaginal or caesarean birth is by getting hands on with your baby. This might include:

• bathing your baby
• changing nappies
• bringing your baby to your partner for breastfeeds
• cuddling or settling your baby while your partner rests.

You might feel excited, enthusiastic or a bit nervous about newborn baby care. If you’re not sure about what to do, you can ask a midwife. Also, if you or your partner has questions about anything that happened during labour and birth, it’s a good idea to ask a midwife or doctor.

Recovery from caesarean birth can take at least 6 weeks. If your partner has had a caesarean section, you might need to keep doing most of the baby care in these first 6 weeks, as well as looking after your partner. You might need to change your plans for going back to work or organise extra help for your partner.

Keep checking in to see what your partner needs and wants, and work together to care for your baby during this time.

Getting involved is great for bonding with your baby. It helps you get to know your baby’s needs and respond to your baby with love, warmth and care. When you do this, you build your relationship with your baby. Your baby also feels safe and secure, which lays the foundation for all areas of your baby’s development.

How to support your partner with breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is something you can do as a team. In fact, your support for breastfeeding can help your partner get started and go on to breastfeed for longer.

You can support your partner with breastfeeding by:

• learning about breastfeeding yourself, perhaps by reading and watching videos about how to breastfeed
• getting involved in baby care – changing your baby’s nappies and holding, cuddling or settling your baby between breastfeeds
• giving your partner practical support – offering a glass of water, a healthy snack, another pillow or whatever your partner needs
• giving your partner emotional support – offering gentle encouragement, checking how your partner is feeling, or praising your partner for doing a great job.

If your partner has trouble with breastfeeding, you can reassure your partner that it’s OK to get extra help. You have many support options:

• midwives
• a lactation consultant
• your local child and family health nurse
• your GP
• the Australian Breastfeeding Association Helpline – phone 1800 686 268 or use ABA LiveChat.

It’s best to find a support option that makes you feel safe and respected – for example, one that respects your religion, cultural and ethnic background, your parenting arrangements, your family diversity and so on.

It’s possible for some people who haven’t been pregnant or given birth to breastfeed. This can happen with induced lactation. If you’re interested in knowing more, go to Australian Breastfeeding Association – Relactation and induced lactation.

How to look after your own mental health and wellbeing

A new baby brings big changes. As you care for your new baby and help your partner recover, it’s important to look after your own wellbeing too.

Looking after yourself includes making healthy lifestyle choices and getting rest when you can.

It also includes looking after your mental health. Talking openly with your partner about how you’re both feeling can help you notice emotional changes early. It can also help you spot signs of postnatal anxiety, postnatal depression in your partner or postnatal depression in yourself, and PTSD after birth.

If you or your partner need mental health support, start by talking with your GP.

It can also help to get support from other people in your parent support network. These people might include other parents, family, friends and health professionals.