Sexual development and sexual behaviour at 15-17 years
If you have a child with disability aged 15-17 years, the information in this article is for you.
It’s best read alongside our article on teenage sexual development and sexual behaviour at 15-17 years. There you can find information about sexual development, typical sexual behaviour and harmful sexual behaviour in teenagers of all abilities.
About sexual development and behaviour in teenagers with disability at 15-17 years
Sexual development starts at birth, and teenagers with disability typically experience the same sexual development and sexual curiosity as all teenagers. This includes physical changes like puberty, the attitudes and beliefs teenagers develop about sex and sexuality, and their sexual identity and behaviour.
Teenagers with disability typically have the same sexual behaviour as teenagers without disability. For example, at this age teenagers might masturbate in private, have intimate relationships, and experiment sexually alone or with others.
At 15-17 years, teenagers with disability might also express their sexuality in ways that are shaped by their own physical, emotional or cognitive development. Sexual behaviour and expression might include:
- expressing interest or affection in intense ways or ways that aren’t expected for their age or peer group
- using fantasy literature, media or role-playing games as a safe way to explore romantic or sexual themes.
If you talk openly, honestly and inclusively about sex and sexuality with your child, covering all abilities, genders and sexual orientations, it sends the message that your child can come to you for honest and reliable information. These conversations can help your child make positive, safe and informed choices, now and in the future.
Responding to sexual behaviour in teenagers with disability aged 15-17 years
If your child with disability seems interested in exploring intimate relationships or experimenting with sexual behaviour, this can be an opportunity to support your child’s healthy sexual development. The key is listening, talking and answering questions openly, honestly and non-judgmentally.
At this age, you could talk with your teenage child about romantic relationships and sexual affection, respectful relationships, consent, sexual identity, gender and pornography.
If you’re wondering how to talk with your child about sexual behaviour and what to say, it’s good to think about the way your child communicates, as well as their level of learning, emotional development and physical development. For example, you could think about how well your child understands things like their own feelings about sex and sexuality, the effects of their actions on others, or the way their disability might affect sexual behaviour like masturbation.
You might need to adapt conversations to suit your child’s needs – for example, by using real-life examples.
Books for teenagers can be helpful too – for example, You know, sex by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth or Welcome to sex by Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes.
Your child’s GP, occupational therapist or speech pathologist, or another professional working with your child, can help you with these conversations.
Autistic teenagers might need extra support to understand sexual feelings, sexual cues and sexual relationships. You can read more in our articles on sexual development in autistic teenagers, romantic relationships for autistic teenagers, consent for autistic children and teenagers and problematic and harmful sexual behaviour in autistic children and teenagers.
Harmful sexual behaviour in teenagers with disability aged 15-17 years
Sometimes sexual behaviour in teenagers aged 15-17 years isn’t what’s expected for their developmental stage or isn’t socially or culturally appropriate.
And sometimes sexual behaviour in teenagers at this age is dangerous or harmful to themselves or others. Harmful sexual behaviour can range from concerning to serious and extreme.
Teenagers with disability or teenagers who have learning difficulties and disorders or difficulties with impulse control, social skills or rules can also be more vulnerable to engaging in harmful sexual behaviour. This might be because they:
- have challenges with social skills
- have sensory sensitivities
- find it difficult to see other people’s perspectives or understand how their actions affect others
- find it difficult to understand boundaries and appropriate behaviour
- find it hard to manage their emotions
- have been exposed to pornography or adult sexual activity and are re-enacting what they’ve seen
- are experiencing child sexual abuse or other forms of child abuse.
At this age, if your child is engaging in harmful sexual behaviour with a younger child, it could be considered a criminal offence.
Getting help for harmful sexual behaviour
If you’ve noticed your child engaging in harmful sexual behaviour or you’re worried that they are, it’s a good idea to seek professional help.
A GP is a good place to start. They can refer you to an experienced health professional who can help you understand what’s happening and how you can help your child.
Harmful sexual behaviour in children can be distressing. You can get support by contacting helplines and specialist services.