How to protect autistic children from sexual abuse

What is child sexual abuse?

Child sexual abuse is when adults or older children involve children in any type of sexual activity, with or without physical contact.

Most child sexual abuse is carried out by someone children know.

Why are autistic children and teenagers at risk of child sexual abuse?

Autistic children and teenagers can be at greater risk of child sexual abuse than non-autistic children.

This is because autistic children might:

not recognise dangerous or unsafe situations, including online grooming
not be able to say ‘no’ when they feel uncomfortable
be more socially isolated and seem easier to take advantage of
have a lot of caregivers, which can expose them to more opportunities for abuse.

Autistic children can also be less likely to report other people’s inappropriate sexual behaviour. This is because they might:

not know what sexual abuse looks like
have communication difficulties.

All children have the right to grow up safe from abuse. Safeguarding children against sexual abuse is part of creating safe environments that help children grow and thrive.

How to keep autistic children and teenagers safe from child sexual abuse

To stay safe from sexual abuse, autistic children need to learn about:

sexually abusive behaviour
private body parts and personal boundaries
private and public behaviour
private and public places
unsafe situations
saying no and other safety strategies

When autistic children and teenagers understand sexuality, respectful relationships and consent, it can help to keep them safe from sexual abuse.

How to help autistic children recognise sexually abusive behaviour

You can help your autistic child recognise sexual abuse by creating some rules about what’s not OK for someone to do to your child.

Here are examples:

It’s not OK for someone to ask you to take off your clothes, unless it’s a doctor and I’ve said it’s OK.
It’s not OK for someone to look at the parts of your body that your underwear or swimwear normally covers.
It’s not OK for someone to take photographs of you in underwear, partially dressed or naked. Photographing is looking. The phone or camera might cover a person’s eye, but they can still see you.
It’s not OK for someone to ask you to take and send photographs of yourself in underwear, partially dressed or naked.
It’s not OK for someone to touch you on the parts of your body that underwear or swimwear normally covers, even if you have clothes on.
It’s not OK for someone to put something into your mouth other than food, unless I’ve said it’s OK – for example, at the dentist.
It’s not OK for someone to put something in your anus or vagina, or to ask you to put something into your own anus or vagina.
It’s not OK for someone to ask you to keep a secret about things they do with you or to you.

You can also create rules about what’s not OK for people to do around your child.

Here are examples:

It’s not OK for someone to show you parts of their body that underwear or swimwear normally covers.
It’s not OK for someone to ask you to touch parts of their body that underwear normally covers, whether they have clothes on or not.
It’s not OK for someone to ask you to take photographs of them in underwear, partially dressed or naked.
It’s not OK for someone to ask you to put something into their anus or vagina.
It’s not OK for someone to send you sexual texts, pictures or movies.

You can also create a rule about saying ‘no’ to anyone, even an adult or a friend, if they ask you to do any of these things, even if you think these things might feel good.

Talking with children and teenagers about sexual abuse can be uncomfortable, but it can help to keep them safe if they’re faced with unsafe sexual behaviour. Our articles on talking with children about child sexual abuse and talking with teenagers about child sexual abuse have tips that you can adapt for talking with your autistic child.

Private body parts and personal boundaries

Autistic children and teenagers need to know that their bodies are their own. When your child understands this, they can also understand that it’s wrong for other people to touch their body, ask to see their body, or take photos or videos of their body, particularly their genitals.

Helping your child learn about the public and private parts of their bodies and personal boundaries is a great starting point.

Books can also be a great way to explain this topic to autistic children. You could try these suggestions:

Let’s talk about body boundaries, consent & respect by Jayneen Sanders and Sarah Jennings
My underpants rule! by Kate and Rod Power
Everybody’s got a bottom by Tess Rowley
No-no the little seal by Judith Feldman.

Public and private behaviour

When autistic children understand the difference between public and private behaviour, it might make them less vulnerable to people who might abuse them.

You can explain that private behaviours are things that no-one else needs to see you do, like going to the toilet, showering or masturbating.

Visual supports can help your child understand. For example, you could create a visual support that reinforces a rule about pulling down pants only when your child is in the toilet – ‘First close the toilet door, and then pull down my pants’. You could then use the visual support to reinforce the rule whenever your child starts to undress on the way to the toilet.

Public, private and concealed places

It’s a good idea to talk with your child about what makes places safe or less safe. You can explain that in public places other people can see you. In private or concealed places, people can’t see you. Then you could label photos of these places:

Public – examples are school, bowling alley, library, kindergarten, shopping centre and so on.
Private – examples are toilet, shower and your child’s bedroom.
Concealed – examples are hidden spots and ‘out of bounds’ areas at school.

The next step is helping your child understand these ideas:

Public places are safer because many people can see them in public places.
Private or concealed spaces can be unsafe if your child is there with an adult or older child and no-one else can see them.

These ideas apply to being online too:

Public spaces online are safer because a lot of people can see what you’ve posted, like on a friend’s social media page.
Private spaces online are not as safe, because only you and the other person can see the messages, like on Snapchat.

Pictures and social stories can help you explain these ideas.

Unsafe situations

Autistic children or teenagers might not recognise when a person or situation is unsafe, because they might:

not notice when a person is saying something friendly but doing something inappropriate
desperately want someone to be their friend, girlfriend or boyfriend
not recognise the signs of grooming.

You can help your child understand unsafe situations by:

helping them recognise physical feelings of discomfort and other warning signs
making guidelines and rules.

Helping autistic children recognise physical feelings of discomfort

This is about helping your child understand that feeling uncomfortable is their body’s way of trying to protect them from danger. Try this exercise:

Help your child draw an outline of a person on a piece of paper.
Ask your child to describe what happens in their body when they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Use words that make sense to your child – for example, butterflies or a sick feeling in the stomach, racing heart, goosebumps and so on.
Help your child add these feelings to the picture.
Say, ‘If someone asks you to do something, pay attention to your body. If you have one of these feelings, say “No!”’

Making guidelines and rules

Some broad guidelines can help your child recognise unsafe situations. For example:

It’s unsafe if there’s no-one there to see when you need help. Examples are out-of-bounds areas at school, toilets that aren’t used by many people, places not many people visit, like bushland, and so on.
It’s unsafe if an adult asks you to go with them to help with things like finding a lost dog or reaching something. Adults ask other adults for help, not children.

You can back up these guidelines with specific rules. For example:

Always go to public toilets with someone you know, like a friend.
Always go into the cubicle by yourself when you go to the toilet.
Always tell me where you’re going to be playing in the park.
Say you’ll get me if an adult you don’t know asks you for help with something.

Saying no and other safety strategies

It’s important for autistic children to know that they can say ‘No!’ if they notice an unsafe person, place or situation, or if their body is telling them they’re uncomfortable.

For example, you could teach your child No, Go, Tell:

If you feel uncomfortable, say, ‘No!’
Go away from the person or place as soon as you can.
Tell someone you trust, like me or your teacher.

You could use a visual support to help. This could include photos of trusted people.

A daily routine of talking about the day can help autistic children learn to tell you about things. Time prompts like ‘first’ and ‘next’ can help your child practise telling you events in order. You can talk about who was at school, what they did together, and what things felt good. Your child might prefer to draw what happened. If your child is used to telling you about events, they’ll be more able to tell you if something has happened that has worried them.

Everyday sexual safety precautions

Here are everyday things you can do to keep your autistic child safe from sexual abuse:

Take basic safety precautions. For example, if your child is alone with adults or young people, ensure that they can be seen or interrupted at any time.
Go with your child to public toilets.
If something doesn’t feel right, it’s OK to say no. For example, you can say no if people ask to take your child on outings alone.
Create a family media plan that covers staying safe online.