Raising kids with anti-racist attitudes

Why anti-racist attitudes are important for kids

Anti-racist children and teenagers can be part of preventing racism and making the world a fairer place.

That’s because anti-racist kids tend to:

be respectful and inclusive of people from all backgrounds, cultures and experiences
recognise that racially marginalised people are treated unfairly because of their culture, the colour of their skin, or the language they speak – and that this is not OK
understand that ‘race’ is a social category that’s used to treat people unfairly
understand that people have similarities and differences and that everyone deserves to be treated with care and respect.

All children have the right to grow up feeling respected, valued, safe and healthy. Talking with children about racism is part of creating environments that help children grow and thrive.

How to help your child learn to be anti-racist

You play a vital part in helping your child learn to be anti-racist and develop positive attitudes towards diversity.

You can do this by:

role-modelling anti-racist attitudes for your child
helping your child embrace diversity and equality
helping your child call out racism
looking out for signs of racism in your child’s behaviour and talking about it.

1. Be an anti-racist role-model

You are your child’s most important role model. When you model anti-racism and positive attitudes to diversity, your child is more likely to develop these attitudes too.

Here are ideas for modelling anti-racist attitudes:

Learn about race and racism. For example, explore websites like Racism. It Stops With Me and share what you learn with your child.
Learn about other cultures and try to avoid making assumptions or generalising about people based on their background.
Treat everyone with openness, respect and fairness. For example, invite children from diverse backgrounds to your home, or make sure that people from diverse backgrounds feel welcome in any sports, clubs or other groups that you’re part of.
Advocate for anti-racism at your child’s child care service, preschool or school. For example, talk to school staff about adding anti-racism to the discrimination policy or including anti-racism learning activities and diverse content in the curriculum.
Acknowledge that talking about racism can feel uncomfortable and that this is OK. When your child sees you working through discomfort in healthy ways, it sets a great example and builds your child’s resilience.
Admit your own mistakes. For example, if you use a racial stereotype, say out loud that you shouldn’t have said that. Tell your child that it’s OK to make mistakes, but it’s also important to learn how to do better.

2. Help your child embrace diversity and equality

Kids

Play music, read books, tell stories and cook foods from diverse cultures.
Watch movies and TV shows that include characters from diverse backgrounds with meaningful roles and stories.
Take your child to cultural celebrations like NAIDOC Week, Harmony Week or local cultural festivals.
Talk with your child about diversity in their school, peer group, sports club and so on. For example, ‘In our culture, we celebrate Chinese New Year. What do your friends celebrate?’
Talk with your child about the similarities they share with friends from other backgrounds. For example, they might like the same sport or the same movies.

Teens

Talk with your child about why diversity is important. For example, you could say that a community with a lot of people from different cultural backgrounds is a community with plenty of ideas, points of view, knowledge, foods, art and more.
Encourage your child to stand up to racism. For example, your child could volunteer or raise money for an anti-racism organisation or approach their school about including more diverse content in the curriculum.
Support your child to take part in anti-racism and advocacy events and activities. For example, you could go with your child to a reconciliation event, or you could help your child write a letter to their local MP about racial inequality in your community.
Encourage your child to learn more about the local and federal policies that affect racially marginalised people in Australia. For example, your child could use the ABC’s Vote Compass to see which political parties have anti-racist values.

3. Call out racism

When your child sees you call out racism, they learn that racism is not OK and that it’s good to stand up for yourself and others. They also learn how to have calm and respectful discussions, support others when they’re being treated unfairly, and influence the world around them.

These resources can help you call out racism when you see it:

Remember – it’s important to call out racism, but make sure it’s safe.

Helping your child call out racism

If it’s safe for your child, here are things they can do to call out racism:

Focus on fairness – for example, by saying, ‘That’s not a fair thing to say’.
Ask people to explain – for example, by saying, ‘Why do you think that?’
Report racist behaviour and get help.
Comfort someone who has experienced racism.

And in all situations, these tips can keep your child safe:

Check that there are trusted adults nearby.
If an adult is behaving in a racist way, don’t engage with them. Tell you or another trusted adult about the behaviour.
If a person is behaving in an aggressive as well as a racist way, don’t engage with them. Tell you or another trusted adult.
If a person gets angry or aggressive when your child calls out their racist behaviour, walk away from the conversation.
Call 000 if they’re at risk of violence or they feel unsafe.

If your child has experienced racism, you can support them by listening to them, validating their feelings, reassuring them, and recording and reporting racist incidents.

4. Watch for signs of racism in your child

If you notice signs of racism in your child’s views or behaviour, it’s important to talk with your child. This might be a challenging conversation.

It can help to make a distinction between how your child has behaved and who your child is or wants to be – a respectful, caring person. If your child knows that you believe they’re a good person, they’re more likely to think about their views or behaviour.

Here’s how to talk with your child about racist views or behaviour:

Calmly start a conversation. For example, ‘It sounds like you think Black people can’t be doctors. Do you really think this is true? I wonder where you got that idea’.
Talk with your child about how their views or behaviour might affect others. For example, ‘If you say Black people can’t be doctors, they might feel sad or upset about being left out’. For older children, you can explain effects in more detail. Websites like All Together Now can help.
Offer a respectful option. For example, ‘Doctors can have any background or skin colour’.
Show your child evidence that counters the view or behaviour. For example, you and your child could research Black doctors and their contributions to medicine.

Here are ways to help your child change their views or behaviour:

Reflect on how or where your child might have got racist messages. For example, is your child seeing only white doctors in TV shows, books and other places?
Check what you’re modelling for your child. Do you avoid interacting with people from diverse backgrounds in the community? Do you express negative verbal or non-verbal ideas about people from diverse backgrounds?
Keep having regular, age-appropriate discussions with your child about racism.

If your child’s behaviour might be harming others, it’s important to address it immediately. Talk with your child as soon as possible about their behaviour, reach out to others who might be involved, and plan how to deal with the behaviour.

If you’re getting distressed when talking or thinking about racism or you’ve been experiencing racism yourself, talk to your GP or a mental health professional. You can also call 13 YARN on 139 276, Lifeline on 131 114, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or a parenting helpline. Or you can contact your local Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation or a community cultural group.