Talking to kids about racism

Why it’s important to talk to kids about racism

The earlier you start talking to kids about racism, the better.

This is because children develop attitudes and beliefs about diversity and racism from a very early age. So talking about racism can shape your child’s attitudes and behaviour, now and in the future.

Also, children can experience racism from a very early age, and this can harm their health, wellbeing and development. Talking can help children understand their experiences. It can reduce the harms of racism, increase children’s resilience and help them feel safe.

Talking about racism can help your child:

understand how racism works
understand their own racial identity and how it shapes their experiences
build a positive cultural or ethnic identity
build empathy and compassion
value people from all backgrounds and treat all people respectfully
develop healthy relationships with people from all backgrounds
learn to recognise and call out racism when they see it
know who to go to for support if they experience or witness racism.

All children have the right to grow up feeling respected, valued and safe. Talking to children about racism is part of creating environments that help children grow and thrive.

Getting informed about racism

Conversations about racism will go better when you’re prepared and informed.

These resources can help you get started:

When you’re learning about racism, try to use resources that have been made by and with people experiencing racism and that are based on evidence. These resources are likely to be accurate and less likely to use racial or cultural stereotypes.

If you’ve experienced racism, it can be helpful to talk this through with a friend or mental health professional before talking to your child.

How to start a conversation about racism with your child

The way you approach conversations about racism will depend on your child’s age, development, background and personal experiences of racism.

These tips can help you get started:

Find out what your child knows and thinks about diversity and racism. For example, if you and your child are watching a movie that highlights diversity, ask questions like ‘What did you think about that scene?’
Use books, TV shows or toys. For example, you can point out diverse characters in a book or ask a question about stereotypes in a TV show.
Tell stories about your own childhood. If you can, talk about your experiences and how you stood up to racism.
Show you’re listening to your child by getting close, making eye contact and using non-verbal language like nodding and keeping your arms uncrossed.
Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know the answers, you could research the answer together.
Correct harmful and unfair views. For example, ‘It sounds like you think Black people can’t be doctors. That’s not true. Doctors can have any background or skin colour’.
Avoid saying things like ‘We don’t see colour’ or ‘I don’t notice people’s backgrounds’. This denies real experiences of discrimination and might send the message that you can make racism go away by ignoring it. It could also discourage your child from talking to you in the future.

How to talk to young kids about racism

From birth to about 5 years, you can introduce the topic of racism by celebrating people from diverse backgrounds. For example:

Use simple and positive language. For example, ‘The families in our neighbourhood have many traditions and ways of celebrating. It makes our community a great place to grow up’.
Talk about the traditional owners of the land you live on. For example, ‘The land that we live on has been looked after by the Wurundjeri people for thousands of years. Isn’t that amazing?’
Talk about being kind and fair to people of all backgrounds. For example, ‘Everyone at preschool can play with the toys’.
Acknowledge that people look different from each other and have diverse backgrounds, which is a good thing. For example, ‘We all have different skin colours, and this makes each of us special and beautiful’.
Talk about what people who look different also have in common. For example, ‘Max and Roshani have different coloured skin, and they both like playing soccer with you’.
Talk about the achievements and contributions of people from diverse backgrounds – for example, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander doctors, Chinese-Australian dancers, or African-Australian engineers and scientists.
Read books about people from diverse backgrounds. You could try Baby business by Jasmine Seymour, I love me by Sally Morgan and Ambelin Kwaymullina, Antiracist baby by Ibram X. Kendi, or Hair love by Matthew A. Cherry.

By 6 months, children can recognise differences in skin colour and hair texture. At 3-6 years, many children can identify their own cultural or ethnic background and other people’s. At this age, some children can start showing early forms of racial discrimination. For example, they might avoid playing with children from certain groups.

How to talk to kids aged 6-11 years about racism

At 6-11 years, you and your child can start talking directly about racism. Here are ideas:

Talk to your child about how people have been and still are treated unfairly because of the colour of their skin, culture, language or family background. Tell your child that this isn’t fair or OK and that if they experience or witness racism, they should tell an adult.
Introduce the topic of Australia’s colonial history by reading books like Young dark emu: A truer history by Bruce Pascoe.
Share and discuss an example of racism in your experience. For example, ‘When I was younger, I used that stereotype a lot. Then someone told me it made them uncomfortable and that it wasn’t true. I apologised and stopped using it’.
Read books about people from diverse backgrounds with your child. You could try Wombat, mudlark & other stories by Helen Milroy, Day break by Amy McQuire, Welcome to country by Aunty Joy Murphy and Lisa Kennedy, I’m Australian too by Mem Fox, Big rain coming by Katrina Germein, or The first scientists: Deadly inventions and innovations from Australia’s first peoples by Corey Tutt and Blak Douglas.

How to talk to teens about racism

At 12-18 years, you can have complex discussions about racism with your child. Here are ideas:

Talk about what type of society your child would like to live in and how people can work together to build an inclusive, kind society that embraces diversity – for example, through advocacy groups and by taking part in events like Harmony Day and NAIDOC week.
Ask your child if they’ve experienced or witnessed racism, how it made them feel, what they did at the time and what they would have liked to do differently.
Talk about the courage needed to do brave things, like standing up to racism. You could talk about building courage over time.
Talk about how to respectfully and curiously ask people about their culture. For example, your child could say, ‘Chinese New Year celebrations sound wonderful! I’d love to learn more. Could I ask you some questions?’
Talk about current issues that relate to racism – for example, over-policing of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.
Encourage your child to read books about people from diverse backgrounds, cultures and countries. They could try How to be a (young) antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi and Nic Stone, The tribe by Michael Mohammed Ahmad, The yield by Tara June Winch, Growing up African in Australia, edited by Maxine Beneba Clarke, or Meet me at the intersection edited by Rebecca Lim and Ambelin Kwaymullina.

If you get distressed when you’re talking or thinking about racism, talk to your GP or health professional. You can also call 13 YARN on 139 276, Lifeline on 131 114, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or a parenting helpline. Or you can contact your local Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation or a community cultural group.