Big deal, little deal: problem size activity for kids

What is the ‘big deal, little deal’ concept?

The ‘big deal, little deal’ concept is a tool to help children learn that not all problems are the same size. Some problems are small and can be sorted out quickly. Others are bigger and need more time, help or support to solve.

This concept helps kids pause and think:

How big is this problem?
What might help?
Who can help?

Why is it important for kids to understand the size of a problem?

When your child learns to tell the difference between big and little problems, it can help them:

feel more confident solving small problems on their own
understand when they need help to solve problems and what help they need
cope better when big things happen
build problem-solving and decision-making skills.

Examples of big, medium and little problems for kids

Little problems

These are small issues that your child can usually solve quickly or with a little help. For example:

breaking a pencil
misplacing a toy
losing a turn in a game
spilling a drink.

Medium problems

These are problems that might take your child more time or that might need more help to sort out. For example:

arguing with a friend
forgetting homework
losing something important
feeling worried about an upcoming event.

Big problems

These are serious issues that your child can’t solve on their own. For example:

being hurt or bullied
feeling unsafe
feeling sad and worried about the serious illness of a family member
feeling upset, confused and anxious about parents separating.

What is a size of the problem activity?

This is an activity that can help your child understand problem size by sorting problems into the following categories:

little deal
medium deal
big deal.

What you need for a size of the problem activity

Paper
Pens, markers or coloured pencils
Optional: 3 bowls or containers in red, orange and green
Optional: some prewritten examples of problems and reactions or solutions

It’s best to do the activity when your child is feeling calm. You can do the activity regularly to help your child work out the size of different problems.

How to do a size of the problem activity

Step 1: create your categories

Draw 3 large circles or boxes and colour and label them (or use coloured bowls):

Green = little deal
Orange = medium deal
Red = big deal.

Step 2: talk about the size of problems

Talk about the categories with your child. For example, you could say that problems come in different sizes. Some are little deals that can usually be solved quickly or with a little help. Others are medium deals. These are a bit bigger and might take a bit more time or help to sort out. And others are big deals that your child can’t solve on their own.

Step 3: write down problems or use pre-written cards

These could be things your child has faced in the past, everyday kid challenges, or made‑up examples. You could use some of the examples above to get started.

Step 4: sort the problems

Ask your child to put each problem in one of the circles or bowls – little deal (green), medium deal (orange) or big deal (red).

Instead of telling your child how big the problem is, encourage them work it out by asking questions like these:

Do you need help from someone to sort it out?
How hard would this be to fix by yourself?
Has something like this happened before?

Talk with your child about why they chose the little, medium or big deal category for each problem.

Step 5: match reactions or solutions to problems

Talk about each of the problems and encourage your child to think about appropriate reactions or solutions. An option is to use prewritten reactions or solutions and put them next to each of the problems. For example:

Take a deep breath.
Ask an adult for help.
Try again.
Tell someone you trust.

Example: how your big deal, little deal problem size activity might look

This image was generated using ChatGPT.

This activity isn’t about judging how your child should feel. Sometimes small deals can feel like big things, and that’s OK. You can use an emotional ladder picture to talk about how your child feels.

How to adapt this activity for children of different ages

Younger children (3-6 years)

Use simple pictures instead of words.
Keep problem examples short and concrete.
Limit the activity to just the little deal category (green) and big deal category (red).
Match the length of the activity to your child’s attention span.

Primary school children (7-12 years)

Use real-life examples from home or school.
Add the medium deal category (orange).
Match reactions to problem size.

Teenagers (13-18 years)

Rate the problems on a scale from small to big (1-10).
Write columns on a notepad and add the problems underneath.
Help your child use problem-solving steps to think of solutions.
Encourage your child to think about the consequences of their potential solutions and the support they’d need to put the solutions into action.

How to adapt this activity for children of diverse abilities

Use visuals – pictures, symbols or emojis can help children who find reading hard.
Start small – if you use only a few examples at a time, the activity might feel manageable to children who are easily overwhelmed.
Use hands‑on materials – bowls, whiteboards or coloured objects can work well for children with sensory or developmental differences.
Break down questions – one simple question at a time can help children with language difficulties understand the activity.
Allow extra time – extra time can help children who need more time to process ideas and instructions.
Use familiar examples – familiar problems can help children with learning difficulties understand and relate to the activity.
Use children’s preferred communication mode – pointing, role play or gestures can help children who don’t use spoken language.

This activity also gives you the chance to learn about problems your child faces in their daily life, talk about how your child sees those problems, and understand what strategies your child has at the moment to deal with problems.