What are children doing at 5-6 years?

Playing and interacting with others

Even as children get older and start school, play is important. It’s still how children learn and build social, emotional and thinking skills.

Your child:

  • enjoys complex pretend play, filled with fantasy and drama
  • plays with others to achieve a common goal like building a big sandcastle
  • negotiates what to play with other children
  • is becoming more social and prefers to play with friends rather than on their own
  • can share, although they might find it hard to share favourite toys and other things
  • understands why rules are important, but might find games with rules challenging
  • might even accuse other people of cheating sometimes.

Feeling and connecting

Your child:

  • can express feelings but might need help to identify and talk about strong emotions like frustration or jealousy
  • has better control over feelings and might have fewer outbursts of anger and sadness
  • might have more patience
  • might be open to reasoning with you
  • loves to be independent but still wants connection with you and the family
  • is proud of their own achievements and wants your approval
  • doesn’t like criticism
  • might be afraid of criticism, tests, failure, physical harm or threat, or supernatural things like ghosts.

Your child is better at seeing other people’s points of view, which helps your child to make friends and meet new people.

Thinking and learning

Your child:

  • pays attention for longer now
  • understands simple concepts like time (today, tomorrow, yesterday)
  • knows the seasons
  • recognises some words by sight and tries to sound out words
  • knows their full name, address, age and birthday.

Your child might:

  • copy simple shapes with a pencil
  • copy letters and write their own name
  • draw more realistic pictures – for example, a person with a head with eyes, mouth and nose, and a body with arms and legs.

Your child might also read simple picture books by themselves.

Talking and communicating

At this age children talk a lot, sometimes even when nobody is in the room.

Your child:

  • can use full and complex sentences and have adult-like conversations but might still find it hard to describe complex ideas or events
  • understands and usually enjoys jokes and riddles – jokes about poos and wees are particularly funny
  • enjoys the opportunity to do ‘show and tell’ at school
  • is learning 5-10 new words each day
  • understands more words than they can say.

Vocabulary growth is so rapid at this age that your child’s brain often thinks faster than your child can speak.

Moving

At 5 years, your child is more coordinated and loves to show off new physical skills – you’ll often hear shouts of ‘Look at me!’ They can:

  • learn how to ride a bike or jump rope
  • balance on one foot for a short period of time
  • walk downstairs without needing to hold your hand
  • skip
  • catch a large ball.

Does it seem like your 6-year-old can’t ever keep still? Wriggling while watching TV, at the dinner table or even while sleeping is quite common.

Many 6-year-olds will also be interested in playing team sports like soccer.

Your child’s fine motor skills are improving, which leads to more independence with things like:

  • tying shoelaces
  • using zips and buttons
  • brushing hair
  • cutting up food with a knife.

Practising independence

At this age, children are becoming more independent and love making decisions about things like what clothes to wear or what to eat for lunch.

Starting school

Starting school opens up a whole new social world, which comes with a new set of rules. This might be demanding or challenging for your child. School can be tiring so you might notice that your child is easily upset, especially after a long day. On these days you might want to let your child rest at home after school and aim for an early bedtime.

Whether your child is feeling worried about starting school or bursting with excitement, a bit of planning and preparation can ease the transition.

How can you help your child grow and develop between 5 and 6 years?

Get moving

Physical activity can be everyday activities like walking to school. Or it might be organised sport or playground or backyard games. Physical activity is important for your child’s wellbeing. It can also help your child learn social skills like taking turns, cooperating, negotiating, playing fairly and being a good sport.

As your child tests their physical limits, keep checking that your home is safe.

Keep playing

Play can include outdoor play, imaginative and creative activities, physical play and more.

Your child will still enjoy playing with you. Playing together each day gives you the chance to enter your child’s world and find out about their thoughts and feelings. It also shows your child that you care about them and want to spend time together.

Your child might also enjoy playdates with other children, especially kids from their school.

It’s important for your child to have time for free play too.

Digital play can spark your child’s imagination. But it’s important to balance digital technology use with other play and everyday activities that are good for development.

Read together

Reading together is important for your child’s literacy. You can also try literacy activities like telling stories or making your own book.

Talk about feelings

When you talk with your child about their emotions, you can help them understand and label these emotions. This is important for all your child’s relationships.

Practise classroom behaviour

You could give your child small tasks that need attention or involve following rules or instructions. Have conversations about your child’s favourite animal or sport and encourage your child to listen, respond and question. This all helps your child get ready for school.

Get your child involved in family life

You can build your child’s independence and confidence by giving them simple household chores. Setting the table or helping you to put away clean clothes also gives your child the chance to practise cooperating and being responsible, which is important for school.

When kids behave in positive ways, it’s good for their learning, development, health and wellbeing. Behaviour tips and strategies can help.

Parenting a school-age child and looking after yourself

As a parent, you’re always learning. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s OK to admit you don’t know something and ask questions or get help.

It’s also important to look after yourself. Looking after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally is good for you, and it’s good for your child. When you’re well, you can give your child the loving attention they need to grow and thrive.

Part of looking after yourself is asking for help, especially if you’re feeling stressed, anxious or angry. There are many people who can support you and your child, including your partner, friends, relatives and GP. It’s a good idea to have a list of these people with their contact details. Put the list on your fridge, so it’s easy to find if you need it.

Never shake, hit or verbally abuse a child. If you feel like you can’t cope or you might hurt your child, gently put them somewhere safe. Take deep breaths to calm down. Get support by talking to a family member or friend or by calling a parenting helpline or Lifeline on 131 114.

When to be concerned about child development at 5-6 years

You know your child best. So it’s a good idea to see your GP if you have any concerns or notice that your child has any of the following issues at 5-6 years.

Communicating and understanding

Your child:

  • is difficult to understand or isn’t speaking in full sentences
  • can’t understand multi-step, complex instructions like ‘Please put the soccer ball away, wash your hands, and sit down for dinner’.

Behaviour and play

Your child:

  • has tantrums whenever they don’t get their own way
  • doesn’t show empathy – for example, doesn’t try to comfort others who are hurt or upset
  • shows no interest in letters or trying to write their own name
  • is very withdrawn, worried or depressed or gets very upset when separating from you
  • is aggressive or shows no interest in interacting with other children or adults.

Everyday skills

Your child:

See a child health professional if your child has lost skills they once had.

Development happens in a similar order in most children, but skills might develop at different ages or times. If you’re wondering whether your child’s development is on track, or if you feel that something isn’t quite right, it’s best to get help early. See your GP.

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