4-5 years: preschooler development

Preschooler development at 4-5 years: what’s happening

Feelings and behaviour
At this age, preschoolers are exploring and learning to express emotions. They do this in many ways – for example, by talking, using gestures, making noises and playing.

Preschoolers also like to be around people. Your child might want to please and be like preschool-age friends. Imaginary friends could be important to your child too. As part of getting along with others, you might hear your child saying sorry, agreeing to rules and being pleased when good things happen to other people.

When it comes to cooperating, your child is likely to be more helpful. By the time your child is 5 years old, they’ll probably have more control over their behaviour and emotions and fewer tantrums.

Your child might feel anxious about starting school. Talking to your child about this and even visiting the school together can help to ease any worries.

In this year, your child might hide the truth about things sometimes or even start telling lies. For example, they might say ‘I didn’t do it’ even when they did. This is a typical part of preschooler development.

Playing and learning
Play is important because it’s still how children learn and explore feelings.

When it comes to play, your child likes to sing, dance and act. Your child also loves make-believe play and is learning the difference between fantasy and reality. Your child might also try different roles and behaviour, like being a doctor or getting married.

You might also notice that your child has a sense of humour and enjoys jokes and funny stories.

Your child is starting to become more aware of their gender. Your child might also be very curious about bodies – their own and other people’s. For example, you might find your child looking at their own and other children’s genitals. A combination of natural curiosity and role-playing is usually a typical part of childhood sexual behaviour. But if you’re concerned about a child’s sexual behaviour, it’s a good idea to talk with a GP, a paediatrician or another qualified health professional.

Thinking
Preschoolers understand more about opposites – for example, high/low. They know the names of letters and numbers out of order and can count to 10. Your child might remember their own address and know the difference between left and right.

Talking
Children’s language develops a lot at 4-5 years. You might notice that your child loves telling stories and having conversations. Your child might also tell you how they feel, talk about their ideas, ask a lot of questions and say words that rhyme.

At 4 years, preschoolers know hundreds of words and can use 5-6 words or more in sentences. You can understand what your child is saying all the time.

By 5 years, preschoolers can speak more clearly and will know, understand and use even more words, often in more complex sentences of up to 9 words. Your child understands most things you say and can follow multi-step, complex instructions.

Daily life
Dressing themselves and going to the toilet independently is quite easy for children at this age. Also, your child can probably use a fork, spoon and sometimes a knife – for example, to spread butter on bread. But you still need to supervise and help your child with tasks like brushing teeth.

Moving
Preschoolers love moving and being active. Your child is getting better at walking down steps (maybe using the rail) with alternating feet, throwing, catching and kicking a ball, running, climbing, jumping, hopping and balancing on one foot.

Your child might also develop some new gross motor skills – for example, skipping, jumping backwards or jumping while running.

Your child’s fine motor skills are improving too. Your child can cut with child-safe scissors and write their first name and some letters. Your child might also be able to draw a circle and make detailed drawings of people with body parts and clothes.

Helping preschooler development at 4-5 years

Here are simple things you can do to help your child’s development at this age:

Give your child plenty of playtime: play is important for developing preschooler emotions, because it helps preschoolers explore and express feelings like joy, excitement, anger or fear. For example, you and your child could try pretend play with puppets.
Spend time playing outdoors: this lets your child explore the natural environment, have adventures and test their physical limits. Outdoor play for preschoolers might involve messy play in sand or mud, games of chasey or treasure hunts. When you’re outside, remember to be safe in the sun.
Make time for imaginative and creative play: this might be collage, drawing, dress-up games, storytelling or writing letters. Musical play is another idea – your child might like to dance, jump around or make music with simple instruments.
Read with your child: reading together, telling stories, singing songs and reciting nursery rhymes all encourage your child’s talking, thinking and imagination. These activities also help your child learn to read as they get older.
Do some cooking with your child: this helps your child to get interested in healthy food, learn new words and understand maths concepts like ‘half’, ‘1 teaspoon’ or ‘30 minutes’. You can give your child simple cooking activities, like tossing a salad or putting together sandwiches.
Play games with your child that involve learning to share and taking turns. When you play, say things like, ‘Now it’s my turn to build the tower, then it’s your turn’, or ‘You share the red blocks with me, and I’ll share the green blocks with you’. Sharing is still hard for children at this age, so give your child plenty of praise when they share.

You might want to think about sending your child to preschool. At preschool your child can learn through play, make friends, and develop responsibility, independence and confidence. Preschool can support and encourage your child’s amazing development – and it can be a lot of fun too.

Parenting a preschooler at 4-5 years

As a parent, you’re always learning. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s OK to admit you don’t know something and ask questions or get help.

It’s also important to look after yourself. Looking after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally is good for you, and it’s good for your child. When you’re well, you can give your child the loving attention they need to grow and thrive. You can also guide your child’s behaviour in positive ways, even when you find their behaviour challenging.

And remember that part of looking after yourself is asking for help, especially if you’re feeling stressed, anxious or angry. There are many people who can support you and your child, including your partner, friends, relatives, child and family health nurse and GP.

Never shake, hit or verbally abuse a child. You risk harming your child, even if you don’t mean to. If you feel like you can’t cope, it’s OK to take some time out until you feel calmer. Gently put your child in a safe place like their bedroom. Go to another room to breathe deeply, or call your state or territory parenting helpline.

When to be concerned about child development at 4 years

You know your child best. So it’s a good idea to see your child and family health nurse or GP if you have any concerns or notice that your 4-year-old has any of the following issues.

Seeing, hearing and communicating
Your child:

has trouble seeing or hearing things
doesn’t use sentences of more than 3 words
can’t understand 2-part instructions like ‘Put the doll down, and pick up the ball’.

Behaviour and play
Your child:

doesn’t pretend during play – for example, doesn’t pretend to be a grown-up, go shopping or have a tea party
still has tantrums over very small things or clings or cries when you leave
doesn’t seem to show empathy – for example, doesn’t try to comfort others who are hurt or sad
seems very afraid, unhappy or sad a lot of the time.

Movement and motor skills
Your child:

is clumsy – for example, trips over a lot when walking or running
finds it hard to handle small objects – for example, a pencil or crayon
has trouble drawing shapes – for example, a circle or cross
has difficulty eating, dressing or using the toilet.

When to be concerned about child development at 5 years

It’s a good idea to see your child and family health nurse or GP if you notice your 5-year-old has any of the following issues.

Seeing, hearing and communicating
Your child:

has trouble seeing or hearing things
can’t understand multi-step, complex instructions like ‘Put the doll down, get the ball from under the chair, and put it in the box’
isn’t developing conversational skills – for example, doesn’t understand how to talk, listen and respond.

Behaviour and play
Your child:

doesn’t play with other children or acts in a very aggressive way
doesn’t show empathy – for example, doesn’t try to comfort others who are hurt or upset
seems very afraid, unhappy or sad a lot of the time
is easily distracted and can’t concentrate on any single activity for more than a few minutes
doesn’t pretend during play – for example, doesn’t play doctors and nurses, construction in the sandpit or cooking.

Movement and motor skills
Your child:

is clumsy – for example, trips over a lot when walking or running
finds it hard to use small objects – for example, a pencil or crayon
has trouble drawing shapes – for example, a circle or square
has difficulty eating, dressing or using the toilet.

See a child health professional if at any age your child experiences a noticeable and consistent loss of skills.

Development usually happens in the same order in most children, but skills might develop at different ages or times. If you’re wondering whether your child’s development is on track, or if you feel that something isn’t quite right, it’s best to get help early. See your child and family health nurse or GP.

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