Cyberbullying: what it is and how to avoid it

Cyberbullying: what you need to know

Cyberbullying is when a person uses digital technology to deliberately and repeatedly harass, humiliate, embarrass, torment, threaten, pick on or intimidate another person.

Cyberbullying happens in many different ways – in text messages, emails and online games, and on social media platforms like TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook.

Examples of cyberbullying include deliberately and repeatedly:

posting or sending messages that threaten people or put people down
leaving people out of online games or social forums
spreading nasty rumours online about people
setting up unkind or unpleasant fake social media accounts using real photos and contact details
trolling or stalking people online
sharing or forwarding people’s personal information without their permission
posting insulting or embarrassing photos or videos of people without their permission
harassing other people in virtual environments or online games.

Cyberbullying can happen at any time of the day or night, anywhere there’s internet or mobile access.

Cyberbullying is harmful. It’s never cool, funny or OK. If you’re concerned that your child is being cyberbullied, you can look for signs like changes in your child’s school and social life, technology use, and emotions and behaviour. It’s important to know how to spot cyberbullying signs and help your child. You can take steps to stop cyberbullying.

Effects of cyberbullying

Cyberbullying often leaves children and teenagers with lowered self-esteem, less interest in school and low academic achievement. Children and teenagers who experience cyberbullying might feel confused by changes in their friendship groups. They might also feel alone, lonely and isolated.

Cyberbullying can lead to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, stress and suicidal thoughts.

If your child has a disability, or is already experiencing a mental health issue like depression or anxiety, this can make them more vulnerable to cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying: how to talk about it with children and teenagers

Talking with your child is one of the best ways to help your child avoid cyberbullying. It’s best to start talking about cyberbullying when your child first starts to use social media or when they get a mobile phone.

Here are some things you could talk about:

What cyberbullying looks like – for example, ‘Cyberbullying is sending mean text messages, spreading rumours on social media, ganging up on or deliberately excluding someone in an online game, or sharing an embarrassing photo with other people’.
How it might feel to be cyberbullied – for example, ‘Being cyberbullied can make you feel very upset and lonely. It can make you not want to join in activities where the person doing the bullying might be’.
What happens when people experience cyberbullying – for example, ‘People who get cyberbullied can stop doing well at school’.

Cyberbullying can become face-to-face bullying. And face-to-face bullying can become cyberbullying. Children and teenagers can experience cyberbullying and face-to-face bullying at the same time.

Technology rules to help children and teenagers avoid cyberbullying

You can help your child avoid cyberbullying by:

agreeing on clear family rules
having a family media plan that covers everyone’s mobile phone, computer or tablet use.

For example, cyberbullying often happens at night through text messages and shared images. It can help to have a family rule that everyone switches off devices at night and leaves them in a family area.

Practical tips to help children and teenagers stay safe online

Here are simple things your child can do to stay safe online and avoid cyberbullying:

Accept only people they know as online friends and followers. If your child adds someone they don’t really know as a ‘friend’ or ‘follower’, it gives that person access to information about your child that could be used for bullying.
Don’t give out passwords. Some children and teenagers give their passwords to friends as a sign of trust, but a password gives other people the power to pose as your child online.
Check or update privacy settings so that strangers can’t view your child’s photos or personal information. Your child can also check that their posts and photos can’t be shared by other people.
Think before you post. If your child posts personal comments, photos or videos, they might get unwanted attention or negative comments. People can screenshot or download the comments and photos and share and post them anywhere. They can also be available online for a long time.
Tell you, a teacher or another trusted adult if they’re worried about anything that’s happening online. This includes seeing someone else being cyberbullied.

How cyberbullying is different from other bullying

Cyberbullying is different from other kinds of bullying, both for the person doing the bullying and the person being bullied.

People who bully others often act more boldly online than if they were face to face with other people. Sending insults remotely and anonymously makes people doing the bullying feel safer and more powerful. If they could see the physical or emotional responses to their bullying behaviour, they might be less likely to behave this way.

For people being bullied, cyberbullying is tough to deal with. Because teenagers use mobiles and the internet all the time, bullying can happen 24 hours a day, not just when they’re at school. People who are being cyberbullied might not know who’s doing the bullying or when they will strike next. This can make teenagers feel unsafe, even when they’re at home.

Bullying messages posted online are very hard to get rid of. These messages can be forwarded instantly and seen by many people, instead of only the few people present in face-to-face bullying situations.