Crying: babies

Why babies cry

Babies are born with the ability to cry. Crying is their main way of telling you what they need or how they feel. They cry when they’re hungry, tired, uncomfortable, sick or in pain. Sometimes they cry because they need a change of scenery or comfort, or because they need to know you’re there.

But it can sometimes be hard to work out what your crying baby needs. So when your baby cries, start by checking that they’re not sick or hurt. If you’re not sure, make an appointment with your GP or call your child and family health nurse.

What to expect: baby crying and fussing

Babies cry a lot in their first 3 months. On average, babies cry and fuss for almost 2 hours a day, and around 2 in 10 babies cry for a lot longer than this.

Crying usually reaches a peak at 6-8 weeks of age and then gradually lessens to about an hour a day by 12 weeks of age.

Colic is when babies cry for no obvious reason and are almost impossible to settle. If you think your baby has colic, it’s a good idea to get a check-up with your GP or paediatrician to rule out medical causes for crying.

How to manage your baby’s crying: tips

The first step is to check whether your baby is hungry, tired or uncomfortable. You might be able to respond to your baby’s crying by:

feeding your baby
putting your baby down for a sleep
changing your baby’s nappy.

Here are other tips for comforting your baby and reassuring them that you’re nearby. Some of these tips are useful for crying at any time of day, and some are most useful for crying at sleep time. You might need to try different things at different times – just experiment to see what suits you and your baby best.

Moving your baby

Gently rock or carry your baby in a baby carrier or sling. Sometimes movement and closeness to a parent can soothe babies.
Go for a walk or a drive, as long as you’re not too tired. Being on the move can be calming for you and your baby. But if your baby goes to sleep, it’s best to move them to a cot or other safe sleep surface and place them on their back.

Calming and relaxing your baby

Give your baby a warm bath.
Try baby massage. This might help you relax too. It can also strengthen the bond between you and your baby. Your child and family health nurse can teach you how to do baby massage.

Settling and soothing your baby for sleep

Wrap your baby. This can help your baby feel secure. Don’t wrap your baby once they show signs of rolling onto their tummy (around 3-4 months).
Learn the cues your baby gives when they start to get tired. This might include yawning, making fists, touching their face or head or getting fussy. When you see these signs, put your baby to bed.
Try responsive settling techniques like rocking or patting your baby in their cot. Gently turn them onto their back if they fall asleep.
Offer a dummy or the breast if you’re breastfeeding. Sometimes your baby isn’t hungry but wants or needs to suck. If your baby is 3-4 months or older, you could also help them find their own fingers or thumb to suck.
Speak softly to your baby, sing or play soft music. White noise can also soothe some babies. You could try a fan, a vacuum or a radio set to the static between stations.
Calm things down by dimming the lights, which helps to reduce stimulation.

Managing your own feelings
Try putting in some imaginary earplugs. Let the sound of the crying pass through you, and remind yourself that everything is OK. You’re doing all you can to help your baby.

Responding to your crying baby in warm, loving and responsive ways helps them feel safe and secure. It’s also part of building a relationship that’s important for your baby’s development, learning and wellbeing, now and in the future. All parents can build this relationship from birth through touch, talking, playing and daily care.

Looking after yourself when your baby is crying

If your baby is crying a lot, it’s very important to look after yourself. Even just 5 minutes reading a book, walking around the block or meditating can give you a break if you’re feeling stressed, anxious or angry.

It can be easier to find time to care for yourself if you and your partner or co-parent work as a team. This way you can each take breaks from the crying. Or you could ask a friend or relative to help out.

Seeking support is an important part of looking after yourself. It’s good for you, and it’s good for your family. If you need support, you can phone your GP or child and family health nurse. They might do phone consultations. You could also call Lifeline on 131 114 or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.

You should also see your GP or nurse if you or your partner experiences the signs of postnatal depression in birthing mothers or postnatal depression in non-birthing parents. Signs of postnatal depression include feeling sad and crying for no obvious reason, feeling irritable, having difficulty coping and feeling very anxious.

Never shake a baby. It can cause bleeding inside the brain and likely permanent brain damage. If you feel like you can’t cope, put your baby in a safe place like a cot. Go to another room to breathe deeply, or call your state or territory parenting helpline.