About distressing or traumatic birth experiences

Most women have positive, rewarding and safe experiences giving birth. And most babies are born safe and healthy.

But some women have distressing or traumatic birth experiences. These are things that women experience as disappointing, disrespectful, uncomfortable, hurtful, stressful, disempowering, frightening and so on. These experiences are sometimes called ‘birth trauma’ or ‘traumatic birth’.

These experiences might be psychological, physical or both.

Examples of distressing or traumatic psychological birth experiences include:

• judgment or criticism
• lack or refusal of information, help or treatment
• temporary separation from your baby for medical reasons
• pressure or threats
• treatment without consent
• fear for your life or your baby’s life.

Examples of distressing or traumatic physical birth experiences include:

• a long and difficult labour or a very quick one
• significant perineal tearing or an episiotomy
• an emergency caesarean birth
• a forceps birth or vacuum birth
• a painful caesarean birth wound
• nerve damage
• pelvic floor muscle damage
• incontinence
• other health issues following the birth.

You can improve your chances of having a positive, rewarding and safe birth experience by finding out what to expect from labour and birth and planning for labour and birth. You can do this by having continuity of care during pregnancy, talking with your midwife or doctor, asking questions, going to antenatal classes, and making a birth plan.

Distressing or traumatic birth experiences: reactions

Birthing mothers react in various ways to distressing or traumatic birth experiences. Some birthing mothers have strong or prolonged reactions, and others have mild or passing reactions. And some react straight away, whereas others react days, weeks or months after their birth experience or even during another pregnancy.

Birthing mothers’ reactions can depend on things like:

• whether they’ve had distressing or traumatic experiences in the past
• how they’ve reacted to distressing or traumatic experiences in the past
• whether they’re getting support from family, friends, professionals and the community.

A small number of birthing mothers who’ve had a traumatic birth experience might go on to develop PTSD after birth.

This article focuses on distressing or traumatic birth experiences in birthing women. But non-birthing parents can also feel distress from witnessing and being involved in their partner’s labour and birth. If this sounds like you, talking to your GP is a great first step.

After a distressing or traumatic birth experience: looking after yourself

After a distressing or traumatic birth experience, it can take time to feel better. Looking after yourself can help with this. Here are things you can do:

• Look after your physical health – try to get enough sleep and rest, eat healthy food and exercise regularly.
• Share your feelings about your birth experience with trusted friends or family members.
• Join a support group. You could try Birth Trauma Australia’s peer support groups or get one-on-one support from someone who has also had a distressing or traumatic birth experience.
• Be aware that reminders of your birth experience might upset you. This might include your baby’s birthday. If you notice that you’re getting upset, it can help to say to yourself, ‘I’m upset because I’m being reminded of the event, but it’s different now. There’s no danger, and I’m safe’.
• Try breathing for relaxation, muscle relaxation, mindfulness or helpful thinking exercises.
• Ask for and accept practical help from family and friends – for example, help with grocery shopping, cleaning and baby care. This will give you more time to look after yourself.
• Put boundaries on your social media use if you’re getting upset by birthing stories. For example, limit social media to 10 minutes a day, and adjust your settings so you see fewer topics that upset you.

When to get professional help after a distressing or traumatic birth experience

If you’ve had a distressing or traumatic birth experience, it’s a good idea to talk to your GP, child and family health nurse or another professional.

It’s especially important to seek professional help after a distressing or traumatic birth experience if you’re:

• having unwanted and recurring thoughts, memories, nightmares or flashbacks related to your birth experience
• avoiding places that remind you of your birth experience
• feeling that you’ll never want to have another baby because of your birth experience
• feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, anger, fear, stress, distress, shame, grief or panic
• feeling emotionally numb or distant from people around you
• worrying a lot about your baby
• not feeling able to care for your baby
• finding it hard to do everyday tasks because of how you feel.

You might notice these signs immediately after giving birth or weeks or months later.

Where to get professional help after a distressing or traumatic birth experience

If you notice any of the signs above, it’s important to seek professional help as soon as you can.

The sooner you get help, the faster you’re likely to feel better and recover.

There are many people and services who can help you:

• your GP
• your child and family health nurse
• your midwife or obstetrician
• Australian Psychological Society – Find a psychologist
• Birth Trauma Australia
• QLife for LGBTIQ+ support
• ForWhen, PANDA or other helplines.

If you’re having thoughts about hurting yourself or your family, you should urgently speak to your GP or call Lifeline on 131 114. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people can also call 13 YARN on 139 276. If you believe that someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 000 or go to your local hospital’s emergency department straight away.

Finding out more about your distressing or traumatic birth experience

If you’ve had a distressing or traumatic birth experience, you might want to find out more about what happened – for example, why you needed an emergency caesarean section or an episiotomy.

This might help you understand and better manage your thoughts and feelings about your birth experience. It might also help you work out whether you were treated inappropriately during your birth experience and if so, whether you’d like to make a complaint about your experience.

You can ask your midwife, doctor or child and family health nurse about your labour and birth if this feels safe and comfortable for you. You can also ask to see your medical records.

Here are tips:

• Write down your questions beforehand.
• Ask your health professional to use language that you can understand.
• Take time to think things through afterwards. You can go back to ask more questions if you want to.
• If you feel uncomfortable at any point, end the discussion or meeting.

If you had a distressing or traumatic birth experience, it’s a good idea to have a support person with you when talking to a health professional or service about your experience. Your support person might be your partner, a trusted friend, family member or another professional. They can do things like offer emotional support, speak on your behalf, advocate for you and take notes about the discussion.

Making a complaint about your birth experience

It’s never OK for professionals and services to disrespect or mistreat you.

If you think you’ve been treated inappropriately by a health professional or service, you can make a complaint.

You can complain to the health service’s complaints department, or you can contact the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Authority (AHPRA) on 1300 419 495. You can also contact your state or territory’s health complaints organisation:

• Australian Capital Territory – call the ACT Human Rights Commission on (02) 6205 2222.
• New South Wales – call the NSW Health Care Complaints Commission on 1800 043 159.
• Northern Territory – call the NT Health and Community Services Complaints Commission on 1800 004 474.
• Queensland – call the Queensland Office of the Health Ombudsman on 133 646.
• South Australia – call the SA Office of the Health and Community Services Complaints Commissioner on (08) 7117 9313 or 1800 232 007.
• Tasmania – call the Health Complaints Commissioner Tasmania on 1800 001 170.
• Victoria – call the Victorian Health Complaints Commissioner on 1300 582 113.
• Western Australia – call the WA Health and Disability Services Complaints Office on (08) 6551 7600 or 1800 813 583.