About parenting with an intellectual disability or learning difficulty

An intellectual disability is a problem with learning or understanding things, solving problems, concentrating and remembering.

Parents with an intellectual disability can do a great job of helping their children develop and grow if they have:

• the right support from friends, family and other community services
• people to help them learn the skills they need.

There are many good things about growing up with parents who have an intellectual disability. For example, family circumstances might help children develop healthy self-esteem. That’s because they get a sense of their own worth from learning about responsibility and understanding what a big contribution they make to family life.

I have a learning disorder, problems with reading and writing. This means I can’t help the kids as much as I’d like to with their homework ... But we did a parenting program over the last 18 months and it taught us how to keep the kids amused at my house – now my place is more kid-friendly ... Now both the kids say they love coming to stay with me and it helps give my ex-wife a break. We couldn’t have got there without doing the program.
– Tony, parent with intellectual disability and two children

Challenges of being a parent with an intellectual disability

Children do well when they feel safe and secure and have parenting that’s nurturing, warm, sensitive, responsive and flexible. But parents with an intellectual disability can face challenges that make it hard for them to give children what they need.

For example, parents with an intellectual disability might:

• find it hard to get a job and make enough money to support a family or live in a comfortable house
• have mental and physical health problems
• not have anyone to guide them in raising their children
• have trouble understanding some of the parenting information that’s out there
• have trouble getting parenting services and support.

One of the biggest challenges people with intellectual disability face is being judged on their ability to raise their children. They might also worry about seeking help from support services in their community.

That’s why parents with intellectual disability facing additional challenges need support and understanding.

I’ve loved watching my kids grow up and change. They know that I spend a lot of my time volunteering with the SES and at a nursing home, and they understand that sometimes our visiting arrangements need to change at the last minute. They also love that I do this work and they can see that helping people is a good thing. This year my goal is to do a TAFE course in reading and writing so I can help them more as they go through school.
– Tony, parent with intellectual disability and two children

The right support and help from other people can help parents handle their challenges. Getting support and services is a good way to make sure children grow and develop well. It’s always OK to ask for help.

Support for parents with an intellectual disability

Parents with an intellectual disability who need support can contact a disability advocate or an NDIS local area coordinator.

A disability advocate is someone who can help parents say what they want for their families. They can also help parents find and understand information about supports and services.

An NDIS local area coordinator (LAC) is someone who works with the NDIS. A LAC can help parents understand how the NDIS works. They can also help parents find and use community supports, services and activities, as well as other government services.

Parents can also speak to their GP for information about supports that can help.

These supports might include:

• parenting and child development courses that parents do with other people
• parenting sessions for individual parents
• practical support in the home to help with child care activities like bathing and dressing as well as household chores like cooking
• practical support for children’s learning, behaviour and social development – for example, helping with schoolwork
• counselling
• family planning services
• foster care or shared care
• respite services
• information and advice for children.

The National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) is a single, national scheme that funds reasonable and necessary support for people with disability. NDIS support helps people reach their individual goals and gives them choice about the support they need to live the life they want. Call the NDIS on 1800 800 110.