Sexual development & disability: 0-6 years

Sexual development and sexual behaviour at 0-6 years

If you have a child with disability aged 0-6 years, the information in this article is for you.

It’s best read alongside the following articles, which have information about sexual development, typical sexual behaviour and harmful sexual behaviour in children of all abilities:

About sexual development and behaviour in children with disability at 0-6 years

Sexual development starts at birth, and children with disability typically experience the same sexual development as all children. This includes physical changes like puberty, the attitudes and beliefs children develop about sex and sexuality, and their sexual behaviour.

Children with disability typically have the same sexual behaviour as children without disability. For example, at this age, it’s common for all children to enjoy being naked and to be curious about their own and other people’s bodies.

Children with disability might also express their sexuality in ways that are shaped by their own physical, emotional or cognitive development. At 0-6 years, sexual behaviour might include:

sensory-seeking behaviour, like touching or rubbing their genitals when they’re feeling overstimulated
intense curiosity about their own and other people’s bodies.

Open, honest and inclusive talk about sex, bodies and relationships lays the groundwork for future talks about sexual development, respectful relationships and sexuality for children of all abilities, genders and sexual orientations. It’s never too early to start talking.

Responding to sexual behaviour in children with disability aged 0-6

You can use sexual behaviour as an opportunity to help your child with disability learn. The key is listening, talking and answering questions openly, honestly and in a way your child can understand.

At this age, you can talk about public and private body parts, differences among bodies, and words for parts of the body. Or you and your child can read books together about bodies.

If you’re wondering how to talk with your child about sexual behaviour, it’s good to think about the way your child communicates, as well as their level of learning, emotional development and physical development. You might need to adjust the conversation to suit your child’s needs – for example, by using real-life examples, dolls or pictures.

Also, children’s books have age-appropriate concepts. So before talking to your child, you could try reading a book like What makes a baby by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth. This can give you a sense of how to explain things to your child in a way they can understand.

Your child’s GP, occupational therapist or speech pathologist, or another professional who works with your child, can help you with these conversations.

Harmful sexual behaviour in children with disability aged 0-6 years

Sometimes sexual behaviour in children with disability aged 0-6 years isn’t what’s expected for their developmental stage or isn’t socially or culturally appropriate.

And sometimes sexual behaviour in children at this age is harmful to themselves or others. Harmful sexual behaviour can range from concerning to serious and extreme.

Children with disability and children who have learning difficulties and disorders or difficulties with impulse control, social skills or rules can be more vulnerable to engaging in harmful sexual behaviour.

Children with disability aged 0-6 years might behave in sexually harmful ways for many reasons. For example, it might happen because they:

have sensory issues
have difficulty understanding boundaries and appropriate behaviour
find it difficult to understand how their actions affect others
find it hard to express and manage their emotions
have been exposed to pornography or adult sexual activity and are re-enacting what they’ve seen
are experiencing child sexual abuse or other forms of child abuse.

Getting help for harmful sexual behaviour

If you’ve noticed your child with disability engaging in harmful sexual behaviour and they keep doing it even when you ask them to stop, it’s a good idea to seek support and professional help.

A GP is a good place to start. They can refer you to an experienced health professional who can help you understand what’s happening and how to help your child.

Harmful sexual behaviour in children can be distressing. You can get support by contacting helplines and specialist services.