Video transcript

Just like adults, toddlers have feelings too. Your toddler often does not have the words to tell you how they are feeling – but they will let you know using their face, body and behaviour.

For example, you may see smiles, laughter, and a relaxed body when happy; silence, cries or clinginess when worried; stomping, yelling or arching their back when upset or angry.

The best way for your toddler to learn about feelings is through their relationship with you. Next time you notice your toddler is having a feeling – or even better, when you notice the early signs that a feeling is developing – try to see things from their perspective and remember how overwhelming this might be for them.

Your toddler needs your help to understand and calm their feelings. Support them by doing the following things.

Come in close. Move your body in so that you are close to your toddler. This will mean that you are ready and available to help. It will also let your toddler know that they are not alone. Try to work out how much closeness they want and need, and use that to guide what you do.

Assist or help. There is usually a reason for your toddler’s feeling! With some support from you to solve the problem, the feelings may fade away, and your toddler will learn good ways to cope with challenges.

Reassure. Show acceptance and use positive words with your toddler – this will help them to cope with the feeling.

Feelings. Label your toddler's feelings and tell them that it is OK to feel this way. This will help your toddler to recognise feelings, to talk about them, and to accept them as a normal part of life.

Soothe. Soothe and comfort your toddler with a warm and gentle voice, and kind words. When the feelings are big, some toddlers are not ready to accept physical affection. It’s OK to take your time. Wait until they’re ready, and then use gentle touch – for example, a rub on the back or a cuddle.

As your child’s feelings start to fade, stay with them and help them to move onto a new game or toy – something to cheer them up and help them get back to play with a new idea.

Learning to recognise and accept feelings – no matter how big they are – is one of the greatest things that you could help your toddler to do. The more you support and help your toddler with their feelings when they are young, the more they’ll be able to do this for themself as they grow older and the greater chance they have of growing up to be a happy, healthy adult.