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Video transcript

Mary (mother of David, 12): David and Hugo want to be left at home on their own. But I say, well you have to show me that you can be trusted first, and so when I leave you here for half an hour and ask you to do these things, I don’t want to come back and find your bed’s not made and you’re sitting on the computer. I guess we’re trying to just go step by step with that.

David (age 12): I need to tell Mum and Dad. They kinda need to know what I’m doing. I usually do that anyway. And... I’ve been on the bus to the Ashes on my own, and with my friends to a movie. I now know how to... They have to trust me to be able to do it before they’ll let me though.

Nina (age 13): Before we go out with friends, Mum and Dad like we do have kind of basic rules. They’re not, umm, some of them are kind of strong, like we’re not allowed to be out late with friends, so that’s definitely a big one.

Ted (father of Nina, 13): We’ve kind of got an understanding that we expect her to be with her friends, and we’d want to know who those friends are. At this stage if it’s movies we’re kind of fairly happy for her to do that. Daylight hours at this stage – I haven’t had any kind of notions of her wanting to go to any parties or anything, that whole party thing hasn’t kicked in. Umm, so it seems to be fairly manageable.

Lakshmi (mother of Smriti, 14): Mobile phones help us. I tell her ‘Look, I want you to text me as soon as you reach their place,’ which she does. And I tell her ‘Look, tell me if you miss the bus,’ or, you know, she tells me her plan – she’s going to take the train to Strathfield, and then she’s going to take a bus... She knows because she goes on the internet and finds out what time the bus is and everything. So I tell her ‘Look, if you miss the bus, give me a buzz, so I know you’ll be late, so I won’t be worried.’ So she does ring me or text me to say ‘Mum, I’m fine.’ And when she reaches their place she tells me ‘Yes I’ve reached.’ Then I’m happy. And before she leaves she always rings me or texts me as well. ‘I’ve left.’ So then I know when to expect her. So I know it’ll take her an hour so I know, yeah, she’ll come soon.

Kristin (mother of Oscar, 15): If he’s getting himself home and I’m going to bed, I’ll ring him before I go to sleep. And then I’ll set my alarm to the time he’s meant to be home, to make sure he’s home.

Oscar (age 15): Me and my mum have got, like, pretty good communication. I tell her everything that happens. Umm, not in a kind of ratty kind of way but, just ‘cause it’s humorous, or...

Trish (mother of 2): Just to be consistent. If you say no, be consistent. But then as they get older try and reason with them, explain where you’re coming from. Try and listen to their point of view. But at the end of the day I do think sometimes they want you to say no, when they’re pushing the boundaries and then that makes them feel safe.

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  • Department of Social Services

Raising Children Network is supported by the Australian Government. Member organisations are the Parenting Research Centre and the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute with The Royal Children’s Hospital Centre for Community Child Health.

Member Organisations

  • Parenting Research Centre
  • The Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne
  • Murdoch Children's Research Institute

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