Muscle relaxation: why it’s good for children, teenagers and parents

Muscle relaxation helps you and your child feel calm and physically relaxed.

When you’re calm and relaxed, it’s good for your overall wellbeing. Feeling calm also helps you use good judgment and make better decisions.

Muscle relaxation can also help you and your child reduce or manage stress. This is good for your emotional and mental health and wellbeing too.

Techniques like muscle relaxation work best if you practise them regularly, even when you’re not feeling stressed. The more you practise, the easier it will be to relax. And then when you do feel stressed, these techniques will help you calm down quickly.

What you need for this muscle relaxation activity

You need 15-20 minutes, and a calm, quiet space where you won’t be interrupted.

It’s best to wear comfortable clothes and make sure you’re warm enough.

It’s also good to give yourself time and space to do muscle relaxation regularly.

You and your child can do muscle relaxation by yourselves, or you can take the time to relax together.

Many people like being guided through relaxation activities, especially to start with. This can make it easier to focus on your body. If you think this would work for you, you could make a recording of yourself saying the steps below. It works best if you speak softly and slowly, pausing between each step.

How to do this muscle relaxation activity

Getting ready to relax

1. Get comfortable. You can sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor. Or you can lie on the floor.
2. Close your eyes. Breathe normally in and out.
3. Mentally scan your body from top to bottom. Notice where your body feels tense or tight. This will help you to become aware of how your body is feeling.

Feet

1. Focus your attention on both of your feet.
2. Breathe in as you tighten your toes and the muscles in your feet and ankles . If you’re sitting, you can dig your toes into the carpet or floor.
3. Breathe out as you relax your toe, foot and ankle muscles.
4. Repeat.
5. Pause and notice how relaxed your feet feel.

Legs

1. Focus your attention on both of your legs.
2. Breathe in as you point your feet down to tense the muscles in your calves.
3. Breathe out as you relax your muscles.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3.
5. Breathe in as you tense the muscles in your thighs.
6. Breathe out as you relax your muscles.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6.
8. Pause and notice how relaxed your legs feel.

Bottom

1. Focus your attention on your buttocks.
2. Breathe in as you tense your buttocks tightly.
3. Breathe out as you relax your buttocks.
4. Repeat.
5. Pause and notice how relaxed your buttocks feel.

Stomach and chest

1. Focus your attention on the muscles in your stomach and chest.
2. Breathe in as you tense all the muscles in your stomach and chest.
3. Breathe out as you relax the muscles.
4. Repeat.
5. Pause and notice how relaxed your stomach and chest feel.

Hands

1. Focus your attention on both of your hands.
2. Breathe in as you clench your hands into fists.
3. Breathe out as you relax your fists.
4. Repeat.
5. Pause and notice how relaxed your hands feel.

Arms

1. Focus your attention on both of your arms.
2. Breathe in as you tense the muscles in your lower arms.
3. Breathe out as you relax your muscles.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3.
5. Breathe in as you tense both of your biceps.
6. Breathe out as you relax your biceps.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6.
8. Pause and notice how relaxed your arms feel.

Shoulders and neck

1. Focus your attention on your shoulders and neck.
2. Breathe in as you lift your shoulders up as high as they can comfortably go.
3. Breathe out as you lower and relax your shoulders.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3.
5. Breathe in as you lean your head back so that you’re looking at the ceiling. Only tense your neck if you don’t have any neck problems.
6. Breathe out as you slowly move your head back to facing forward. Relax your neck.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6.
8. Pause and notice how relaxed your shoulders and neck feel.

Face

1. Focus your attention on your face.
2. Open your mouth as wide as possible and relax. Repeat.
3. Poke your tongue out as far as you can and relax. Repeat.
4. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth as hard as you can and relax. Repeat.
5. Clench your teeth and notice how your cheeks and jaw are becoming tense and relax. Repeat.
6. Close your eyes as tightly as you can and relax. Repeat.
7. Raise your eyebrows as high as you can and relax. Repeat.
8. Pause and notice how relaxed your face feels.

Whole body

1. Take a deep breath. When you feel that your lungs are full, take in a little more breath.
2. Hold the breath for 5 seconds.
3. Slowly breathe out.
4. Pause and notice how your body feels.
5. When your whole body feels relaxed, continue to breathe gently in and out.
6. When you’re ready, slowly start to wake up your body. Wriggle your toes and your fingers. Stretch your arms and legs.
7. Open your eyes when you’re ready.

If you’ve got only a few minutes, try this muscle relaxation exercise on just your arms, shoulders and face. You’ll be surprised at how well it works.

Making muscle relaxation work for you

As you’re doing the exercise, make sure to look after your body. Don’t tense a body part if you have an injury or you’re worried that you might hurt yourself.

This muscle relaxation technique can be great if you haven’t been sleeping well. In this case, do it just before you go to bed. You might feel very tired after this exercise.

Adapting muscle relaxation for children of different ages or children with diverse abilities

You might need to guide younger children, children with disability, autistic children or children with other additional needs through this activity or do it with them, using the steps above as a script.

For example, here’s how you could guide your child through the hands part of the activity. Remember to speak softly and slowly, and pause after you say each step:

• ‘Let’s sit so we’re comfortable.’
• ‘Close your eyes.’
• ‘OK, think about your hands.’
• ‘Take a big breath in and make a fist with your hands.’
• ‘Take a big breath out and let go of all the tension in your hands.’
• ‘Now let’s do that again.’
• ‘Think about your hands. Think about how relaxed they feel.’

As your child gets a little older, you might like to do muscle relaxation exercises together. You could record yourself saying the steps above, and then use the recording as a guide for yourself and your child. Or you might be able to find a relaxation app with muscle relaxation exercises that suit both you and your child.

Older children and teenagers might like to do muscle relaxation exercises independently. Your child could use your recording when they’re feeling stressed or want some help to relax. Or your child might like to make their own recording or download a relaxation app with exercises that work for them.