What is sexual assault?

Sexual assault is any unwanted and forced sexual behaviour that happens without a person’s consent. It can include touching, kissing, and vaginal, oral or anal penetration.

Sexual assault can happen between people who are in a romantic relationship. It can also happen between friends, family members, acquaintances or strangers. Sometimes several people can be involved in sexual assault.

Anyone can be a victim of sexual assault.

And everyone who has experienced sexual assault deserves support.

If your child has been sexually assaulted and you’re worried about their safety, immediately contact emergency services on 000. Try to get your child to a safe place.

If your child tells you about a sexual assault

If your child has been sexually assaulted, they’ll probably be very distressed. Your child might be teary, clingy, angry or in denial. Or your child might not show any outward signs of distress at all.

There are things you can do to support your child when they’re telling you about experiencing sexual assault. When you respond with warmth and reassurance, it can help them process their experience.

Listening and talking

• Listen to your child without interrupting. Let your child talk in their own time, at their own pace and in their own way.
• Avoid asking detailed, direct or leading questions. If something isn’t clear, you can gently ask, ‘What do you mean?’
• Reassure your child it’s not their fault and they’re not to blame – and remind yourself that you’re not to blame either.
• Tell your child that you love them and that they’re brave to tell you. Let them know they’ve done the right thing by telling you.
• If your child tells you when there are other people around, tell them you want to hear what they have to say privately.

Responding to what your child tells you

• Reassure your child that you believe them, even if what they’re saying seems unreal or doesn’t make sense at first.
• Don’t assume anything about what has happened or how your child is feeling.
• Let your child know they can talk to you and that nothing is too awful to share with you.
• Be prepared to do whatever your child needs to feel safe and loved. Tell your child about what you plan to do next.
• Don’t make promises that you can’t keep or have no control over. For example, your child might ask you not to tell anyone. You can’t promise this, because keeping your child safe will probably involve telling other people.
• Stay calm on the outside, even if you’re feeling many strong emotions – like anger, worry, guilt and so on – on the inside. If you do get upset, explain to your child that it’s because of what happened to them, not because of anything they did.

Supporting your child over coming days

• Let your child know you’re ready to listen whenever they want to talk. If they don’t want to talk now, that’s OK.
• Be there in case your child wants to share more. This might mean staying at home with your child, taking time off work, picking your child up from school, university or work and so on.
• Check in with your child regularly. Let them know you’re thinking of them without pressuring them to talk. Simple gestures – like asking how their day was or sitting with them – can help.
• Let your child know they don’t have to go through this alone and that support is available. You can explore options together.

If your child experiences sexual assault, it’s not their fault. The responsibility lies entirely with the person or people who committed the assault.

After sexual assault: what to do first

After a sexual assault, you can best help your child by learning about the processes and services available. If you have this information, you can help your child make informed decisions about the next steps.

The following services can tell you about your child’s options:

• Contact the National Domestic Family and Sexual Violence Counselling Service by calling 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), texting 0458 737 732, using 1800RESPECT online chat or video calling 1800RESPECT.
• Call Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 or use the Kids Helpline webchat service.
• Contact a specialist helpline and support service.

If your child is under 18 years of age, medical practitioners, psychologists, teachers, social workers and youth workers will most likely be legally required to report the sexual assault. Your local specialist sexual assault service, along with police, can talk with you and your child about the criminal justice process and your legal rights.

You might have strong feelings, including anger. But for your child’s safety and your own, don’t approach or contact the person your child says has sexually assaulted them.

Reporting sexual assault to the police

Sexual assault is a serious crime.

Contacting the police is often the first step following a disclosure of sexual assault. But deciding whether to report a sexual assault to the police can be difficult. Your child will need your support with deciding and reporting.

When you or your child reports a sexual assault to the police, you’ll speak with officers specially trained to support young people in these situations. These officers can support you and your child and can explain what to expect, including whether you can stay with your child through the process.

The police can help your child to get a medical examination and support services. They can also make sure your child has privacy when making a statement.

The information your child gives will help the police investigate the incident. If the case proceeds, your child might need to go to court as part of the criminal justice process. There are support services that can help your child through this process.

There’s no time limit on reporting sexual assault to the police, but an earlier report can help the investigation.

Medical care after sexual assault

Your child will need medical care and assessment following a sexual assault. This care might be at a hospital or health centre.

A doctor will:

• examine your child and check for physical injuries
• talk with your child about the possibility of pregnancy and emergency contraception
• talk about and test for sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• talk about how to manage the emotional effects of sexual assault.

Forensic medical examination
If your child gets medical attention shortly after the assault, they can have a forensic medical examination. This kind of examination is carefully documented and done by specially trained doctors. It collects evidence that will be important for the police and court.

A forensic medical examination typically involves:

• conducting the examination as soon as possible after the sexual assault, ideally within the first 72 hours
• collecting samples like traces of semen, saliva and hair
• collecting any clothes that your child was wearing during the assault.

If your child is under 16 years of age, you’ll need to give your consent for the examination.

Teenagers sometimes change their minds following these examinations and decide not to go ahead with a police investigation. If your child chooses not to continue, the forensic paediatrician will explain what happens next with the medical samples.

Support during medical examinations
Your child will need your support with decision-making during the medical care and examination process. You can ask the doctors what to expect, including whether you can stay with your child.

Your child will also have a counsellor or an advocate throughout the forensic medical examination to provide support, psychological assessment and care. This person can explain your child’s legal rights, guide you through the medical and legal process, and advise you on how best to support your child after a sexual assault.

Counselling after sexual assault

Sexual assault is a traumatic experience. Counselling can help, particularly if your child:

• has overwhelming feelings of fear, anger, sadness or guilt
• shows noticeable changes in sleep patterns, appetite, behaviour or concentration
• has intrusive thoughts, memories or nightmares that cause anxiety or distress
• finds it hard to get along with family or friends
• withdraws from usual activities or loses interest in things they used to enjoy
• spends more time alone than usual
• finds it difficult to attend or keep up at school, university or work
• engages in self-harm or expresses suicidal thoughts.

Counselling can help your child, you and your family understand the effects of the sexual assault. It can also help you all work through this together.

Some young people find it helps to have counselling soon after the assault. Others might not feel ready then, but they might benefit from counselling later.

Caring for your child at home after sexual assault

After a sexual assault, teenagers often feel powerless and might doubt their self-worth. But there are things you can do to help your child get back a sense of control, freedom and safety:

• Maintain your child’s usual daily routine, like going to school, university or work.
• Encourage your child to keep up with extracurricular activities and going out with friends.
• Keep your home routine predictable and consistent.
• Encourage your child to accept help from trusted people and professionals.

Looking after yourself when your child has been sexually assaulted

It’s important to look after your own wellbeing so you have the strength to support your child.

Talking to friends or family can help, but it’s important to check with your child about whether it’s OK for you to talk to people, who you can talk to and what you can say. If you do talk to people, be clear about the need to respect your child’s privacy. Also, be mindful that hearing about the assault might be distressing for people.

If you feel you can’t speak about it with people you know, consider seeking support from a professional who specialises in sexual assault.

You and your partner, if you have one, might have different emotional responses to the situation. Seeking counselling together can help you navigate your feelings, support your child and each other effectively, and manage any stress on your relationship.

Sexual assault crisis lines and services

Below is a list of services that can support teenagers who have experienced sexual assault.

National
Contact the National Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence Counselling Service on 1800RESPECT or 1800 737 732.

Contact Full Stop Australia on 1800 FULL STOP or 1800 385 578.

Australian Capital Territory
Contact the Canberra Rape Crisis Centre or phone the crisis line on (02) 6247 2525, 7 days, 7 am-11 pm.

New South Wales
Phone the NSW Sexual Violence Helpline on 1800 424 017, 7 days, 24 hours.

Northern Territory
Contact an NT sexual assault referral centre or phone:

• (08) 8922 6472 (Darwin, 7 days, 24 hours)
• (08) 8973 8524 (Katherine)
• (08) 8962 4361 (Tennant Creek)
• (08) 8955 4500 (Alice Springs, 7 days, 24 hours).

Queensland
Contact Queensland Health – Sexual assault or phone the Statewide Sexual Assault Helpline on 1800 010 120, 7 days, 7.30 am-11.30 pm.

South Australia
Contact Yarrow Place Rape and Sexual Assault Service or phone 1800 817 421 – toll free in South Australia, 7 days, 24 hours.

Tasmania
In southern Tasmania contact Sexual Assault Support Service or phone 1800 697 877 – 7 days, 24 hours.

In north and north-west Tasmania contact Laurel House – Sexual assault support:

• North: (03) 6334 2740 – Monday-Friday, 8.30 am-5 pm
• North-west: (03) 6431 9711 – Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm
• Support line Statewide: 1800 697 877 – 7 days, 24 hours.

Victoria
Contact the Sexual Assault Crisis Line. Phone 1800 806 292, 7 days, 5 pm-9 am.

Western Australia
Contact the WA Sexual Assault Resource Centre or phone (08) 6458 1828 or 1800 199 888, 7 days, 24 hours.