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Scenario: teenagers breaking the rules

In this scenario, Sue breaks the rules by coming home late from school. Different things might happen depending on how Sue’s mum responds to this behaviour.

Option 1: let it go

When teenagers break the rules, you could respond by letting your child’s behaviour go. Although this might help you avoid conflict with your child, your child might get the message that there’s no point in following the rules. See how this plays out.

Let it go: parents and teens comment

Teenagers and their parents think that it isn’t a good idea to let rule-breaking go. Hear what they have to say.

Option 2: remind

You could respond to rule-breaking by reminding your child of the rules and being firm about consequences, while showing understanding. This can work well, especially if you stay calm. See how.

Remind: parents and teens comment

Teenagers and their parents think that Sue’s mum’s response is reasonable, although they’re not sure about the consequence. Hear more.

Option 3: be strong

If teenagers break the rules, you might decide to be strong and maintain your authority. If you decide on this approach, you have to be careful about not alienating your child or sending mixed messages.

Be strong: parents and teens comment

Teenagers and their parents feel that the consequence Sue’s mum uses in this approach is too harsh. They also feel that Sue’s mum doesn’t listen. Hear more.

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Raising Children Network is supported by the Australian Government. Member organisations are the Parenting Research Centre and the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute with The Royal Children’s Hospital Centre for Community Child Health.

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