Why play is important for your child’s emotional development at 5-8 years
Play is a key way for your school-age child to explore, express, recognise and learn to manage emotions. This is important when your child is starting school, experiencing new and intense emotions, and learning to get along with others. For example, children playing together are practising patience when they take turns and managing disappointment if they don’t win.
At this age, play with you still has an important and special role too. Playing together – for example, throwing a ball to each other or playing a board game – gives your child the chance to experience and express emotions like happiness and disappointment in a supportive environment. It strengthens your relationship too, and it’s all good practice for when your child is playing with others.
School-age children watch how you manage your emotions. You can help your child learn safe and effective ways to manage strong emotions when you manage your emotions in positive ways. For example, you could say, ‘I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to stop and take 3 big breaths’.
What to expect from school-age emotions
School-age children experience and learn to manage a wide range of emotions. Sometimes they feel excited and confident and sometimes they feel insecure and afraid.
Friendships become more important to your child at this age. This means your child might feel strong emotions about belonging, friendship, fairness and rejection. They might be more aware of how their friends feel too. Some experiences can stir up strong emotions like frustration, disappointment or anger.
If your child experiences strong emotions like anger or frustration, remember that all emotions are OK. It takes time and practice for your child to learn how to manage strong feelings. Your calm, patient support can help them feel safe as they learn.
Play activities and games to help your school-age child learn about emotions
Play and games are a great way for children to learn about understanding and managing their emotions.
Here are ideas:
- Paint, draw and write. These are great ways for your child to manage and express big emotions like delight, curiosity, disappointment or sadness.
- Jump around and ‘act out’ music. You can talk about how your child’s movements change with the music’s tempo and rhythm, just as their emotions come, go and change.
- Try messy play – for example, squish sand or stomp in mud. You could ask your child about how playing with different substances makes them feel.
- Encourage pretend play with puppets and toys or dress-ups. This lets your child try out different situations and the emotions that go with them, like feeling brave like a firefighter or scared like a lost explorer.
- Go to a park or open space for outdoor play like running, tumbling or hitting a ball around. This can help your child experience and express feelings like success, disappointment, enjoyment and achievement.
- Read stories that feature characters who are going through emotions that your child is also feeling. This can help your child build their vocabulary about new emotions.
It’s a good idea to talk with your child and family health nurse or GP if your child often and easily loses their temper, seems excessively fearful or anxious, or doesn’t show empathy. Also see your GP or nurse if you’re concerned about any other aspect of your child’s development.