Preparing for birth and birth support
If you’re well prepared for birth, it can help you feel more confident about being at the birth as a support person.
Birth plans
If you’re supporting a birthing mother, it’s good to talk with them about their birth plan and the support they want during labour and birth.
Birth plans can cover many aspects of giving birth. For example, they can include preferences like:
- what the birthing mother wants to wear during labour
- who the birthing mother wants for support during labour and at the birth
- how the birthing mother wants to be emotionally supported during labour and birth – for example, with words of encouragement, hand-holding or silence
- how the birthing mother wants to manage pain during labour
- whether there are any procedures the birthing mother wants to avoid
- who will cut the umbilical cord.
Well before labour and birth, it’s a good idea for the birthing mother to share their birth plan with their midwife or doctor and have it added to medical records. This can help the midwife or doctor to understand how the birthing mother would like their labour and birth to be. They might also have useful suggestions.
It’s best to think of the birth plan as a guide. The baby’s plan might be different from the birthing mother’s plan. Also, what the birthing mother needs and wants might change on the day.
Hospital bag
Unless the birth is planned as a homebirth, another part of preparing for labour and birth is packing the hospital bag.
You could help with writing a list of things to include in the bag – for example, a Bluetooth speaker for music, favourite lip balm, a comfy T-shirt, swimmers for a water birth, and so on.
It’s a good idea to get familiar with what’s in the bag so you can grab things quickly when needed. Or you could offer to help with organising or packing the things on the list.
And it’s a good idea to pack some snacks, comfy clothes and a mobile phone charger for yourself. Labour can go on for a very long time.
Routes and parking
If the birth is planned at a hospital or birth centre, you might also want to plan the route, where you’ll park the car if you’re driving, and which entrance to go to.
As the due date approaches, try to keep enough petrol in the car so that you can drive to the hospital or birth centre at short notice.
Labour and birth
You can prepare for labour and birth as a support person by:
- going to antenatal classes
- reading about what happens during labour and birth
- watching birth videos – for example, on YouTube
- visiting a birthing room to look at the equipment.
When you know about the stages of labour, you’ll understand how labour starts so you don’t rush to hospital or call the midwife too soon. You’ll also have some idea of what’s likely to help at each stage. And if you’re familiar with where the birth will happen, it might feel less overwhelming when the time comes.
It’s important for you to feel comfortable about your birth support role. If you have concerns about your role, talk through them with the birthing mother. If you’re not sure about being a support person, let the birthing mother know. They might want to find someone else.
Your birth support role: vaginal birth
During a vaginal birth, your role is to give continuous emotional and physical support, encouragement and reassurance.
You can also guide breathing and relaxation techniques and give reminders of information from antenatal classes. And you can offer massage or help the birthing mother get into comfortable positions.
Many birthing mothers are blunt about what they do and don’t want during labour and birth. Don’t be surprised if you’re told to do different things at different times.
It’ll also be your job to advocate. If the labour is long or distressing, the birthing mother might not be able to communicate clearly.
For example, if the midwife or doctor suggests an unplanned medical procedure or pain medicine, ask for information and time to discuss it with the birthing mother, unless it’s an emergency.
If you find yourself in this situation, try to stay calm and polite when you’re talking to staff – they’re doing their best to look after everyone. Unplanned things can happen during labour, but it’s important that the birthing mother has the chance to understand, discuss and give consent to them.
Your birth support role: caesarean birth
If the birthing mother is having a caesarean section using spinal anaesthetic or an epidural, you can usually be in the operating theatre. Just having you there will be reassuring, but you’ll also need to provide encouragement with calm and positive words.
If the birthing mother needs a general anaesthetic, you might not be able to stay in the operating theatre, but you can continue your birth support after the surgery.
If it’s a planned caesarean birth, you can help by knowing what’s involved before, during and after the operation. Start by finding out more about planned caesarean births and what to expect after a caesarean birth.
If an emergency caesarean birth is needed, the birthing mother might be exhausted from hours of labour, as well as worried and anxious. Depending on how things are going, it might be up to you to speak with health professionals.
If it’s your baby, there are many ways you can be involved in welcoming the baby to the world. You can stroke your baby while the birthing mother has skin-to-skin contact. You might also be involved in cutting the umbilical cord after your baby is born. If you’re cutting the cord, speak with your health professional. You’ll be given safety scissors to do the job.
When you need a break or you’re finding it hard to cope with birth
If you need a break or time to go to the toilet or make calls, time it for between contractions or wait until the midwife is there. This way you’ll know the birthing mother is being looked after.
It’s also worth knowing that the sight of blood can make some people feel faint. If you begin to feel light-headed during either vaginal or caesarean birth, sit down straight away – before you fall down. Put your head between your knees and take deep, slow breaths in and out. The light-headedness will soon pass.
As part of getting ready for these parts of birth, you could think about how you’ll stay calm during birth. You could practise breathing exercises or another strategy that you know works for you.