About stillbirth
A stillbirth is when a baby showing no signs of life is born from 20 weeks gestation or with a birthweight of 400 g or more.
Babies can be stillborn for many reasons. But some stillbirths happen for no known reason.
If a baby dies before birth during mid-pregnancy or late pregnancy, it’s called an intrauterine death. If a baby dies during labour, it’s called an intrapartum death. In both situations, the baby will be stillborn.
The death of a baby is a very sad and difficult experience for parents. This experience can bring up intense feelings of grief, emptiness, anger, anxiety and depression. There’s no one or right way to feel about stillbirth.
When you know your baby has died before birth
Sometimes a baby dies in mid-pregnancy or late pregnancy, and a midwife or an obstetrician will confirm that this has happened. In this situation, the midwife or obstetrician will explain to you what has happened and support you.
The midwife or obstetrician will also talk with you about options for your baby’s birth.
You will need to go through labour and birth so your baby can be born.
The obstetrician might suggest an induction to bring on labour.
The midwife or obstetrician will also talk with you about your preferences and needs for labour and birth, including your pain relief options. A midwife will support you during labour and birth, but you might also like to have other support people with you.
This is usually a physically demanding and emotionally distressing time for you and your partner. With the right support, birthing and meeting your baby can also be an experience that you and your partner will treasure.
After stillbirth: spending time with your baby
Spending time with your baby creates memories and lets you acknowledge that your baby is real and part of your family. Remembering and sharing these memories over time helps some people grieve. How you make memories of your baby is up to you and your family.
It’s OK for you to take as long as you need. Try not to feel pressured by other people’s expectations or experiences.
For example, you might want to spend time holding and cuddling your baby. You can also bathe your baby and dress them. If you know your baby has died before birth, you might have some special clothes that you want to use. This can also be a time to take photos of your baby. Your midwife will help you with all of this.
You can name your baby, if you hadn’t done this already.
If you have other children, you might give them the chance to meet their sibling. You might also choose to invite other friends or relatives to meet your baby.
You might be able to spend a few days with your baby or take your baby home for a while. Most hospitals have special cold cots for this purpose. You can ask your midwife about this option.
Doctors, midwives, social workers, pastoral carers, bereavement midwives and funeral directors will help you with the things you might want or need to do after your baby’s stillbirth. This includes organising a funeral.
With your permission, most hospitals will put photos, footprints and a lock of your baby’s hair into a memory box. You can take this box home with you when you leave the hospital. Some hospitals might be able to look after this box until you feel ready to collect it. Or you can ask a trusted family member or friend to collect it for you.
Moving your baby to the funeral home
Your hospital and chosen funeral directors will coordinate your baby’s move to the funeral home. Your baby will be cared for with dignity and respect.
While your baby is at the funeral home, you can still visit your baby up until the burial or cremation. Speak to your funeral director, who can arrange this for you.
It’s OK to speak about your baby openly and use their name. They’re part of your family and always will be.
For birthing mothers: your body after stillbirth
After a stillbirth, a birthing mother’s body undergoes normal post-birth changes. If you’ve just experienced a stillbirth, it might help you to know what to expect.
Bleeding
After giving birth, you might have some vaginal bleeding for 5-10 days. For some birthing mothers, this can last up to 6 weeks. This is normal.
See a GP or obstetrician or go to your birthing hospital if you have:
- heavy bleeding that doesn’t stop
- severe abdominal cramps
- signs of a fever.
Milk production and breast soreness
After a stillbirth, it can be a few weeks before your breasts stop producing milk. This can be physically and emotionally difficult. There are medicines for managing breast discomfort or suppressing milk supply if you need them. Your midwife, GP or obstetrician will help you with this.
If your breasts are comfortable during this period, there’s no need to express. Expressing will stimulate breastmilk supply and make it take longer for your breasts to stop producing milk.
But if your breasts are swollen, hard and painful, you’ll need to express over a few days. Express just enough to keep your breasts comfortable, and slowly reduce the amount of milk you express each day.
If you have breast pain, swelling, warmth, fever and chills, it’s important to see a GP. This might be the beginnings of mastitis, which is an inflammation of the breast that can lead to an infection. Gently massaging any lumps or expressing a small amount of milk can help with this.
It’s possible to donate frozen breastmilk to milk banks to feed premature babies. Speak to your nurse or midwife if this is something you’d like to do.
Understanding why your baby died
Your doctor might ask if you’d like to have an autopsy done on your baby to find out more about why your baby died. Knowing why a baby died helps some people grieve. The information can also help doctors give you advice about future pregnancies.
Sometimes an autopsy won’t be able to tell you why your baby died. Even if the autopsy can’t explain your baby’s death, it can help to rule out some possible causes.
It can be hard to decide about having an autopsy done on your baby. It’s your choice. Doctors, midwives, social workers and pastoral carers can explain your options and support you as you decide what’s best.
Getting help after stillbirth
If you’ve lost a child at birth, it can help to talk to a trusted family member or friend about your loss. Also, midwives offer follow-up visits after stillbirth to check on your recovery and connect you and your partner with local support groups.
If you feel you aren’t coping, it’s a good idea to seek professional support. See your GP, a counsellor or a community spiritual leader, if you have one. A social worker at the hospital or your GP can help you find a local counselling service.
You can also get support by calling:
- Red Nose Grief and Loss on 1300 308 307
- Bears of Hope on 1300 114 673
- Contact Sands – Fathers support services
- MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978
- Lifeline on 131 114.
Causes of stillbirth
In Australia, the most common causes of stillbirth include:
- congenital anomalies (birth defects)
- maternal medical conditions – for example, diabetes or high blood pressure, including pre-eclampsia
- problems with the placenta or umbilical cord
- infection
- unknown causes.
Legal information about stillbirth
By law, all stillbirths in Australia must be registered with Births Deaths and Marriages in your state or territory. Visit your state or territory’s Births Deaths and Marriages website for more information. The hospital will give you the documents you need to register your baby’s stillbirth.
In most states and territories in Australia, it’s also a legal requirement to arrange a burial or cremation for your stillborn baby.
In some cases, your baby’s death might require a coroner’s investigation to find out the cause of death. Hospital staff will guide you through this process if it needs to happen.
If your baby has died, you might be eligible for financial support from Services Australia.
Translations: Arabic
With permission, this article has been culturally adapted, modified and translated into Arabic by Raising Children Network community partner, Rahma Health. To read this article in Arabic, go to Rahma Health – Stillbirth: what it is and how to cope.