Starting secondary school

Going to secondary school: what to expect

The transition to secondary school means big changes for your child. For example, your child’s friendships and peer group, schoolwork, uniform, and school environment and routines are all likely to change. Your child will adjust to these changes, but it might take time.

Friends and peers
When your child goes to secondary school, they’ll meet new peers and make new friends. They’ll also need to work out where they fit in a new peer group.

Schoolwork
At secondary school, your child will:

learn across a wide range of subjects
work with different teachers in different classrooms with different teaching and assessment styles
become more responsible for their own learning
have a heavier and more complicated study and homework load
learn a new and more complex timetable.

School uniform
Secondary schools and primary schools often have different uniform expectations or rules. For example, your child might need to get changed into a sports uniform to play sport.

School environment
Your child will have to adjust to a new school campus, probably with more students, classrooms and facilities than their primary school. They’ll also have to learn to find their way around the campus and get to class on time with the right books and materials. They might also have to remember how to get to and from school on public transport.

These changes can be particularly challenging for children with disability or other additional needs, and children living in rural or remote communities.

Feelings
It’s natural for children to have mixed feelings about moving from the familiar to the unknown and learning new ways of doing things. For example, children might be:

excited about new friends, subjects and teachers
nervous about learning new routines, making new friends or wearing a new uniform
worried about handling the workload or not fitting in.

When children are making the move to secondary school, you have the biggest influence on how smooth the transition is. Your child’s friends influence how your child feels about the move, but your support has stronger and longer-lasting effects.

Preparing to start secondary school

You can help to ease any worries your child has about starting secondary school by preparing your child in the months and weeks before term begins.

Practical issues
Here are ideas for practical preparations:

Make sure your child goes to secondary school transition and orientation programs in the last year of primary school.
Involve your child in decision-making where possible. For example, you could discuss transport options to and from school.
Practise taking the route to secondary school together, so your child feels confident about travelling independently.
Get the school uniform, and make sure your child feels comfortable putting it on and wearing it correctly. For example, if your child needs to wear a tie, you can help them practise putting it on at home.
Get your child familiar with the books or learning materials they need for school. For example, you could help your child set up folders or books for their subjects. Clear labels and a different coloured folder or book for each subject can help.

Feelings
Here are ideas for working through mixed feelings and worries:

Talk with your child about what they’re most looking forward to and what they’re worried about. Actively listen when your child shares their feelings and worries about secondary school.
Reassure your child that it’s natural to worry about going to secondary school. Let your child know you’re confident they’ll settle in eventually.
Encourage your child to look at the positive side of the move to secondary school. For example, you could highlight the new extracurricular activities your child could try.
Talk with your child about keeping in touch with old friends and making new friends.
Share your own positive high school experiences or the experiences of friends and family.

During the transition to secondary school

Practical issues
Here are ideas to help with the practical side of the transition to high school:

Try to arrange for a parent, grandparent or other close adult to be home before and after school for the first few weeks after your child starts secondary school.
Work on routines for before and after school. This could include making time for homework, hobbies and sport, and relaxation before bed.
Use a weekly planner to help your child learn the school routine. Put the planner where you and your child can see it easily, like on the fridge. List daily school and extracurricular activities, plus the equipment that your child needs for each activity.
Try to make sure your child eats healthy food and gets plenty of physical activity and sleep. This will help if your child is feeling tired.
Try to make your home as comfortable for study time as possible. For example, make sure your child has a quiet place to study, away from distractions like the TV or a mobile phone.
Let your child know which school staff to talk to for help if they need it – for example, teachers, the year coordinator, the welfare coordinator and the school counsellor.

Friends
These ideas might help with worries about getting to know people and making new friends at high school:

Reassure your child that it’s common to worry about making new friends. Let your child know you’re confident they’ll make friends eventually.
Find out whether there’s a buddy system at your child’s new school and encourage your child to be involved in it.
Let your child know that new friends are welcome in your home. Encourage your child to invite new friends over, or be ready to transport your child to their houses.
Help your child explore new opportunities. Learning a musical instrument, trying a new sport or joining a drama class are great ways for your child to meet new people and get involved in school activities.
Encourage your child to keep in touch with their old friends so they still feel socially connected.

Teachers
Good relationships between your child and their teachers will help your child have a positive transition to secondary school. One of the best ways for your child to build these relationships is by asking their teachers questions when they’re unsure about tasks or expectations or when they need help.

Feelings
You could try these suggestions for handling emotional ups and downs:

Be prepared for ups and downs. Adjusting to change takes time, but if things don’t settle down after the first term, talk to your child’s home-room teacher or year coordinator.
Remind your child that it’s natural to feel nervous about starting something new. For example, you could share how nervous and excited you feel when starting a new job.
Talk to other parents to check whether your child’s experiences and feelings are similar to those of others. Sporting and school events are good opportunities to meet other parents.
Stay calm. If you’re calm and reassuring, you’ll help your child feel confident about getting through the start of secondary school.

Signs your child might be having difficulty at secondary school

If your child is struggling with the transition to secondary school, they might:

not want to go to school or refuse to go to school
say they feel sick on Sunday nights
seem uninterested in schoolwork or school activities
avoid talking with you about school or friends
seem low on confidence – your child might say they’re dumb or nobody likes them
get lower marks than they used to.

If your child is having trouble, don’t wait for things to improve on their own. Try to get your child talking about how they’re feeling, let them know that it’s OK to feel worried, and see whether you can work out some strategies together.

If things don’t improve within 2-3 weeks, consider speaking with your child’s teacher, year level coordinator, welfare coordinator or GP.

If your child with disability is starting secondary school or your autistic child is starting secondary school, a transition plan and an individual learning plan will help things go well.

Your feelings about your child starting secondary school

Your child’s transition to secondary school is a big change for you too. Your relationship with your child’s primary school might be ending, and you’re likely to have a different sort of relationship with your child’s secondary school.

It’s natural to have mixed feelings about these changes.

It often helps to talk to other parents, particularly those who have gone through high school transition before. It might ease your mind to know that most children find things a little hard at first but settle in during the year.

Also, other parents who are experienced at your child’s new school can often answer small questions and give you helpful tips about how things work at the school.

And don’t be surprised to find that your child doesn’t want you to be around at their secondary school. But although your child is developing more independence, they’ll still need your support outside of school.