How teenagers spend free time
All teenagers are different. But many enjoy spending their free time doing things like shopping, going to parties, being with friends, gaming and using social media, texting, watching movies, reading and going to the beach or park.
Teenagers are also spending an increasing amount of their free time in structured extracurricular activities like arts and sports.
Free time and activities with you
Spending free time together is a great way to stay connected with your teenage child.
Doing something one-on-one with parents can be a treat for your child. You could go to a movie or concert, cook a meal together, look through family photos, or work on a project like redecorating your child’s room. It just depends on what interests you and your child.
These activities might not happen spontaneously. You might need to discuss ideas with your child and plan to spend some time together.
If spending free time with you is a new thing, your child might take a bit of encouraging before she’s keen. If this is an issue, you could consider inviting one or two of your child’s friends along as well.
If you spend time together often enough, your child will probably build up more enthusiasm, so keep trying. You might need to try a range of activities before you find one you both like.
Shopping! My daughter and I just love shopping. Then we stop for a coffee or juice and just talk. It can feel so strange doing that with my daughter, but I love it.
– Sarah, mother of 16-year-old daughter
Free time and activities with the whole family
If you’ve got teenagers and younger children, you could have a family meeting to brainstorm activities to enjoy as a family. You could make a couple of lists – activities to do together, and activities that only some of you will do.
Some activities the whole family could do might include:
- watching a family-friendly movie – you could check out our movie reviews for ideas
- having a picnic
- playing a favourite game or activity at a local park, like soccer or frisbee
- planning a special meal with everyone suggesting a dish
- planning a holiday
- going for a bushwalk or a bike ride.
We go down to the park on a Saturday afternoon just to kick a ball around. I’d actually forgotten how much fun running around a park can be!
– Richard, father of 14-year-old son
Free time with friends
Your child will also want to do things with his friends. Agreeing on some rules about free time can help keep your child safe when he’s out and about.
Here are some things to think about when you and your child discuss free time with friends.
How much do you need to know about where your child is going, and who with? What details are OK for your child to keep to herself? Can she call you if her plans change? Will she leave her phone on while she’s out?
Monitoring your child is OK, as long as you’re just trying to make sure your child is safe. As your child gets older, you can reduce your supervision and involvement in his activities.
You could think about how available you’ll be for providing transport. Can you drive your child to things if you have enough notice? Are you available in an emergency? Will you offer transport to other friends? Do you expect your child to use public transport unless she gets ‘stuck’?
Although being your child’s taxi can be a hassle, it’ll help you to know he’s travelling safely. It also gives you more time together and the chance to get to know his friends.
Getting to know your child’s friends shows your child you understand how important her friendships are.
One way to do this is to encourage your child to have friends over and give them a space in your home. You could think about how open you want your home to be. Will there be a curfew? Will you provide meals, snacks and drinks? Does your child need to take responsibility for having friends over – for example, tidying up the kitchen or family room afterwards?
Your child might find that some of the activities he’s interested in cost money. You might talk with your child about what activities you’re willing to pay for, how often and how much. You could also talk to your child about pocket money. Consider how much is fair in your family. Can extra jobs earn extra money?
Finding a balance between being interested in your child’s activities and being ‘in her face’ can be tricky. Our articles on supporting your teenager’s independence and privacy, monitoring and trust in the teenage years have practical tips.
Free time for teenagers on their own
Sometimes your child will just want to spend time by himself, not doing very much. You might notice this as your child spends more time studying – it’s partly about recharging his mental batteries. Solo free time is fine, if it’s not all the time and is balanced with spending time with friends and family.
It’s also OK for your child to feel bored sometimes! Being bored can motivate your child to find something creative or new to fill her time.
Your child might spend some of his solo free time watching TV, using a computer or tablet, playing video games, and using his phone.
Healthy screen time for teenagers is about choosing quality programs and apps and developing healthy screen habits. It also includes limits on screen time. Some negotiation about screen time during the school week, on weekends and in the holidays might help your child balance screen time with other activities.