Guru Pitka (Mike Myers), who was raised as a young boy by the Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley) is now a new age self-help spiritualist. Guru Pitka has made it to the top. He is a best-selling author, has a palace-like home, servants at his beck and call, and loads of groupies. But for all his success, Guru Pitka is an unhappy man. He is number two on the popular Guru chart and wants to be number one, a spot held by his rival Deepak Chopra, who appears regularly on the Oprah show. Guru Pitka believes that appearing on the Oprah Show is the key to outshining his rival. As a result, he becomes obsessed with gaining an appearance.
Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) is a hockey superstar for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Since Darren’s wife Prudence (Megan Good) left him for rival hockey player, Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake), Darren’s performance on the ice rink has been dismal. The owner of the Maple Leafs, Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) hires Guru Pitka to help Darren win his wife back. Guru Pitka hopes that successfully reuniting Darren with his wife will be ensure him a spot on the Oprah Show. But to get Darren back together with Prudence, Guru Pitka must overcome several obstacles. These include the Maple Leafs coach, Coach Punch Cherkov (Verne Troyer) and Darren’s overbearing mother (Telma Hopkins).
The Love Guru contains on-field sports violence and slapstick-type violence, with some blood and gore. For example: You might also be concerned about other scenes in the film. These include the following:
The Love Guru contains on-field sports violence and slapstick-type violence, with some blood and gore. For example:
You might also be concerned about other scenes in the film. These include the following:
The Love Guru contains frequent crude humour and sexual references throughout. For example:
- Characters talk about putting a wiener (small sausage) on a table. Then they it looks like a penis, only smaller.
- A female reporter tells her viewers that she is not able to say on air what Jacques Grande’s nickname ‘Le Coq’ refers to. Jacques appears to remove his underwear, and we hear the sound of a loud thud. A tattoo on Jacques’ abdomen points upwards with the words ‘The Man’ and down with the words ‘The Legend’. The reporter looking at Jacques’ groin, gasps and swears . Later in the movie, announcers refer to Jacques as having ‘The biggest wiener in hockey’. A second announcer says that he looks like he’s smuggling a schnauzer in his pants. Later, Jacques’ penis is referred to as a ‘giant hog’.
- Characters talk about Jacques ‘banging Darren’s wife’.
- A young Pitka tells Guru Tugginmypudha that his parents were missionaries. Guru Tugginmypudha makes the comments about Pitka’s parents being into ‘Doggy style’ before missionary position.
- When young Pitka starts to ask Guru Tugginmypudha if he can still masturbate (implied) with his chastity belt on, he is promptly told that he will go cross eyed. We see an image of Guru Tugginmypudha’s cross-eyed face.
- A man talks about popping his ‘Dick bag’.
- Characters talk about a Guru named Hathasmallwiener having a small penis before he got syphilis.
- Guru Pitka tells Jane that she has bedroom eyes, a great rack, and buttocks thicker than a Snickers. Jane leans forward to kiss Pitka, but Pitka pulls back, telling Jane that he cannot.
- Reference is made to graffiti on a toilet wall that says, ‘The joke is in your hands’.
- The movie contains images of self-help anagrams with crude sexual connotations.
- Guru Pitka makes gestures that suggest oral sex. He opens his mouth wide while putting a corndog into his mouth. Pitka asks if the corndog is a doggy thing.
- We see Guru Pitka pointing to his groin saying, ‘I think I made a happy wiener.’
- Guru Pitka pronounces Coach Cherkov name ‘Jerkoff’.
- Jane tells Guru Pitka that she has a school-girl crush on him.
- Characters talk about Duffy Duck pushing a lawn mower through a person’s pubic hair.
- A man orders food saying, ‘I’ll have your nuts in a sling’. We see a tortilla with two large nuts rolled inside. The nuts are smashed by a mallet while a man groans. The food is displayed on a board with a pickle. The arrangement looks like male genitalia.
- Guru Pitka talks about Jacques being a ‘Mr Right Now’, rather than a ‘Mr Right’.
- When leaving a nightclub, Guru Pitka says, ‘Let’s make like a baby and head out.’
- When a sports announcer sees two elephants mating, he says, ‘They’re doing it, I think they’re doing it hard’. We see the announcer with his tie wrapped tightly around his hand with the announcer stating ‘I’m rigid’. Later the announcer comments ‘Post ejaculation, the spiny penis retracts’.
Alcohol, drugs and other substances
There is some use of substances in this movie. For example:
- A sports announcer announces on air that he has been cured of his addiction to peyote buttons and apologises for his drug-induced attack on a celebrity.
- There are a couple of bar room scenes containing images of tables with glasses of alcohol sitting on them and people holding glasses. A bottle of beer is thrown into the air and we see beer spilling out of the bottle.
- One announcer tells another, ‘You’re been doing drugs again’. The announcer in question acts as if he is hallucinating that he is a Borg from ‘Star Track’. We see him being carried away by security guards. The same announcer says on air that he needs sleep (the implication is that he has been kept awake by drugs). We see him fall unconscious.
- At the end of the movie, we see Coach Cherkov smoking a hookah. He states ‘I’m a midnight toker’ and falls back unconscious.
Nudity and sexual activity
There is some nudity and sexual activity in this movie. For example
- There are several images of women (serving Guru Pitka) wearing sensual uniforms consisting of short shorts and bikini tops that reveal cleavage.
- There is a picture of a man nude from the waist down with a black triangle lettered ‘CENSORED’ covering the groin area.
- The young Pitka wears a chastity belt with the shape of an elephant’s head and trunk covering his groin. When Pitka has an erection, we hear a gong sound. Later Pitka raises his shirt and drops his pants to shows Jane his chastity belt and bare legs.
- Prudence gets out of a pool in a bikini that has become slightly transparent.
- There are several images of Jacques in his underwear with a large bulge in the front. He sports a red rooster on his helmet.
- In one scene, Guru Pitka lays his healing hands on Jessica Simpson causing Jessica to moan and convulse.
- Darren and Prudence lie in bed facing each other. They look at each other and say ‘damn’.
- Prudence sits on a bed wearing underwear. A shirtless Jacques stands in front of her. Prudence says ‘Show me’. We are given the impression that Jacques is dropping his pants, hear the sound of a thud and hear Prudence gasp ‘damn’.
- The word ‘Guru’ is tattooed on a woman’s cleavage.
- While describing a hockey play, two commentators draw a crude picture that resembles male genitals.
- A man asks a woman, ‘Are you as turned on as I am?’
- The movie contains images of two elephants mating on an ice hockey rink with spectators looking on with their mouths open. An overweight couple looks into each other’s eyes and say, ‘I love you’.
None of concern
The Love Guru contains some medium-level coarse language and put-downs.
Ideas to discuss with your children
The Love Guru, targeted at older adolescents and adults, is a send-up that relies extensively on one-line crude sexual jokes and innuendo. If you allow your children to see this movie, you could discuss the attitudes towards sex and women, and the use of drugs.
You might also like to discuss the main messages in this movie:
- Do not take short cuts - this will only result in making the situation worse.
- Do not sacrifice your own values for expediency.
- Accepting yourself is the key to loving others.