The babysitter in your home: routines, rules and behaviour

Your babysitter and your child both need to know how you want things done when you’re out.

Rules and routines for your child

• Explain your child’s meal, rest and bedtime routines. Out of your child’s hearing, you can also explain flexibility. For example, ‘Casey usually goes to sleep after one story, but it’s fine if she needs extra stories or a chat tonight’.
• Explain how you usually guide your child’s behaviour and what to do if your child gets upset or wakes up after going to sleep.
• Explain the house rules that apply to your child – for example, where they can eat or how much screen time they can have.

Rules and expectations for the babysitter

• Explain rules you’d like the babysitter to follow, like no eating on the couch.
• Outline any extra things you’d like the babysitter to do, like preparing food or stacking the dishwasher after your child’s meal. Just make sure your expectations are realistic.
• Explain anything you don’t want the babysitter to do, like bathing your child or going out in the car.
• Explain your priorities. For example, ‘If you need to spend more time settling the baby, it’s OK if there’s a bit of a mess in the house’.
• Be clear about what you want to be contacted about. For example, ‘Please call me if Abdul is still upset in an hour’ or ‘Please call me if there’s an emergency. Otherwise, I trust you to work things out’.

Not sure how to find the right babysitter for your family? You can start by asking other parents for recommendations.

Safety for the babysitter and your child

Tell the babysitter where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Clearly display:

• mobile phone numbers for yourself and your partner, if you have one
• the number of another trusted adult in case the babysitter can’t reach you
• the 000 number
• phone numbers for your GP and poisons information.

Home safety

• Show the babysitter where you keep your first aid kit, fire extinguisher and fire blankets.
• Explain bath safety, especially safe water temperature and the need for constant supervision.
• Make sure the babysitter knows about safe sleeping.
• Explain that the babysitter should supervise your child in the kitchen and while your child is eating.
• Make sure the babysitter knows to keep hot drinks out of reach of your child.
• Show the babysitter how to use the oven or stove top safely.

Medical issues

• Give the babysitter information about any medical issues – for example, food allergies, food intolerances or asthma.
• Ensure the babysitter is OK to give your child medicine if needed. The babysitter also needs to be comfortable with your child’s allergy or asthma action plans.

Transport safety

• If the babysitter is heading outside with your child, make sure the babysitter knows about pedestrian and road safety.
• Show the babysitter how to open and use your pram.
• If driving your child is allowed, ensure the babysitter follows your rules about car safety.
• Make sure the babysitter knows how to correctly use the child car seat.
• If the babysitter is using their own car, check there’s a suitable car seat for your child.

Visitors

• Tell the babysitter that it isn’t OK for them to have visitors at your house. For example, it isn’t OK for their partner to visit.
• Tell the babysitter about any visitors you’re expecting. For example, ‘The children’s aunty said she might drop back the lawnmower at about 5.30 pm, but she won’t stay’.
• Tell the babysitter what to do if unexpected visitors arrive. For example, ‘If anyone else knocks, you don’t have to answer the door. They can come back later’.

Second-hand and third-hand smoke is harmful for children so it’s best to consider a non-smoking babysitter. Also, make it clear that no alcohol or other drugs are allowed while the babysitter is looking after your child.

Preparing your child for babysitting

Even children who are used to spending time away from you can feel uncomfortable if you’re leaving them with a babysitter. Try these tips:

Before the babysitter arrives

• Organise for your child to meet the babysitter ahead of time, if possible.
• On the day the babysitter is coming, let your child know that someone else will be looking after them and for how long.
• Prepare some special activities, or say your child can stay up a little later than usual. This can make the event something your child can look forward to.

When the babysitter arrives

• Ask the babysitter to arrive half an hour before you leave to allow for a calm transition. Let them know that they’ll be paid for this time.
• Give your child something special or important to show. Showing the babysitter a doll, drawing or favourite photograph can ease the first few moments.
• Let your child play host. For example, if your child is old enough, they could show the babysitter how to work the TV, or they could explain some house rules.

Before you leave

• Let your child know when you’ll be home. It can be reassuring if you say you’ll come in for a kiss goodnight, even if they’ll be asleep by then.
• Always say goodbye to your child and then leave promptly. This will make it easier for your child to settle down with the babysitter.
• For older children, make sure they know how to contact you and other trusted adults if they feel unsafe.

Making the babysitter comfortable

Take a bit of time before you leave to take care of the babysitter’s needs while they’re in your house:

• Show the babysitter around the house.
• Explain door locks, light switches, and heating and cooling systems.
• Leave out a blanket, pillow and snacks for the sitter, as well as instructions for the microwave, TV and so on.

When you get home: reviewing the babysitting experience

It’s a good idea to talk with the babysitter about how things went with your child. For example, you could ask about what:

• went well
• was challenging
• was enjoyable
• needed more explanation.

It’s important to praise anything the babysitter did well, like tidying up or drawing with your child.

If your child is old enough, you could ask your child some questions the next day:

• What was fun about having the babysitter here?
• What was difficult about having them here?
• How did you feel about having the babysitter here?

Concerns about your babysitter

If you get the sense from your child that something wasn’t right about the babysitting experience or you have concerns, trust your child’s instincts and your own. You have options:

• Talk with the babysitter about your concerns, and let them know what you expect.
• Tell them that you’ll be using a different babysitter from now on.

If you suspect behaviour that’s harmful to your child – yelling, hitting or other abuse – here’s what to do:

• Report your experience to any agency, centre or person who recommended the babysitter.
• Consider reporting the behaviour to the police.