Anxiety and your child with disability or a chronic condition: 5-11 years

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is the feeling of worry, apprehension or dread that comes from thinking that something bad is going to happen or that you can’t cope with a situation. And it’s the physical reactions like ‘butterflies in the stomach’, tension, shakiness, nausea and sweatiness. It’s also behaviour like avoiding what’s causing the anxiety or wanting a lot of reassurance.

Anxiety is a natural reaction to new or challenging situations. Anxiety can happen in response to a specific situation or event, but it continues after the situation has passed. Anxiety can happen without a specific situation or event too.

When anxiety is severe, lasts a long time or starts to interfere with everyday life, like school, friendships, sleep or family time, it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Is anxiety a disability?

An anxiety disorder can be considered a disability under Australian law. For an anxiety disorder to be considered a disability, there needs to be evidence that it:

is severe
is long term
has a substantial effect on everyday life.

How does anxiety affect children with disability or chronic conditions?

Children with disability or chronic conditions are more likely than other children to experience anxiety and anxiety disorders.

This might be for several reasons:

Their disability or condition is unpredictable or life-threatening, or it needs painful treatment.
Their disability or condition significantly affects their daily lives.
They’re more likely to experience stigma and bullying.
They feel different from their peers.
They’re worried about what the future might hold for them.
They have learning difficulties, intellectual disability or difficulties with social understanding that make it harder for them to understand what’s happening around them.

Children with disability or chronic conditions might worry about:

having medical procedures like blood tests
missing out on events, friendships or school
coping with their condition or treatments
being burdens on their families
being different from their peers
getting sicker, having a relapse or dying.

These worries can sometimes get in the way of children sticking to treatments or activities that they need to do to stay healthy.

If your child is feeling anxious, they might avoid things, seem irritable, have tantrums or cry a lot. Or they might have physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, nausea or a frequent need to go to the toilet.

How to help your child manage anxiety: tips

There are many practical things you can do to help your child manage anxiety.

Many of these are things you’d do for all children with anxiety:

Acknowledge your child’s fear, while also reassuring them and helping to build their confidence. For example, ‘You’re feeling nervous, but you’ve handled this before. What helped last time?’
Encourage your child to face their fears in small, safe steps that are appropriate for their condition.
Praise your child when they try to face their fears.
Make sure your child eats healthy food, does enough physical activity and gets the sleep they need.

There are also extra things you can do to help your child with disability or a chronic condition.

Family and peer relationships

Positive relationships and a sense of belonging can protect your child from anxiety.

Have fun as a family. Try to find activities that help your child feel included, relaxed and connected – for example, family outings, games, or creative projects, as well as one-on-one time with your child.
Join peer support networks for children with disability or chronic conditions. If these networks run camps or playgroups, this can give your child the chance to socialise with other children with similar experiences.
Help your child stay engaged with school and friends when they’re away for treatment. You could have a plan for remote learning and catch-ups with friends.
Support your child’s friendships. For example, you could encourage your child to invite friends to your home.
Talk with your child about whether they want to tell their friends about their condition – and if so, how and when they want to do it.

Emotions

Helping your child learn how to manage their emotions is key to addressing their anxiety.

Help your child work out what soothes them when they’re feeling anxious. For example, your child might like to be hugged, sit quietly for a few minutes or cuddle a favourite toy.
Practise problem-solving together. For example, if reading aloud at school is stressful, brainstorm practical solutions like practising at home or using a reading aid.
Read stories with your child about other children who cope or solve problems in challenging situations.
Model how you manage your own anxiety. For example, ‘I feel anxious, but I’m going to take deep breaths to calm down’.
Let your child know it’s OK to feel frustrated or angry – for example, because they experience things their peers don’t have to put up with.
Encourage your child to be kind to themselves. For example, talk through ‘What if?’ thoughts like ‘What if I never feel better?’, and explore what your child might say to a friend with similar worries.

Routines

Clear expectations and routines can reduce uncertainty and give your child a sense of control.

Develop routines for daily activities or medical procedures so that your child knows what to expect.
Provide choices where possible. There are things your child will have to do, but you can be flexible with other things, like foods within a diet or physiotherapy times.
Be consistent in the way you use family rules and consequences with all your children.

Your child’s condition

Helping your child understand and feel more in control of their condition can reduce their anxiety.

Give your child developmentally appropriate information about their condition or disability. Without accurate information, children often imagine the worst.
Plan strategies to help your child cope with procedures. For example, consider how much notice of an upcoming procedure is good for your child.
Try to make treatments less stressful. For example, play music, try to turn treatments into games, or let your child choose something fun to do together afterwards.
Create a storybook about your child’s condition and their experiences in hospital. You can use this to answer some of your child’s questions about their health.

When to be concerned about your child’s anxiety

For most children, anxiety comes and goes quite quickly. But for some children, anxiety doesn’t go away or is so intense that it stops them from doing everyday things, like separating from their parents, enjoying social events or getting blood tests.

You might consider seeing your GP or another health professional if your child:

frequently feels nervous, anxious or on edge, or finds it hard to stop or control their worrying
has anxious feelings that last for weeks or months or that keep coming back
struggles with school, friendships, health management or daily routines because of their anxiety.

If your child is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, it might help to know that these disorders usually respond well to professional treatment. And the earlier they’re treated, the less likely they are to affect children’s mental health and development in the long term.

Who can help your child with anxiety?

You can get professional help for your child’s anxiety from:

a school counsellor
a psychologist or counsellor
your GP or paediatrician
your local community health centre
Australian Psychological Society – Find a psychologist.

If you don’t know where to go, your GP can guide you to the most appropriate services for your family.

If your child is 5 years or older, they can talk with a counsellor at Kids Helpline by calling 1800 551 800, or using the Kids Helpline webchat counselling service.

Financial support for children with anxiety and disability

Your child might be able to get Medicare rebates for up to 10 sessions with a mental health professional each calendar year. To get these rebates, your child will need a mental health treatment plan from a GP or a referral from a psychiatrist or paediatrician.

If your child is an NDIS participant, you can contact the NDIS to find out whether you can include support for anxiety in your child’s plan.

Looking after yourself

It’s important to look after yourself. If you’re meeting your own needs, you’ll be better able to meet your child’s needs too.

Here are ways to look after yourself:

Contact a support program for parents of children with disability or chronic conditions.
Talk to your GP.
Look into respite care so you can have a break.