A positive bedtime routine: what is it and how can it help?
A good bedtime routine helps soothe and calm your child so your child is ready for sleep. It also helps your child develop good sleep habits now and for the future.
A positive bedtime routine involves your child going through a few quiet, enjoyable activities about 20 minutes before bedtime.
Without a good bedtime routine, it can be hard for babies and young children to settle to sleep.
If you’re working on getting your baby or young child to settle better at bedtime, a positive bedtime routine will help. Child health professionals will almost always recommend you use a positive bedtime routine along with other strategies for helping babies and toddlers sleep better.
What a positive bedtime routine looks like
A bedtime routine can have quite a few activities. The key is that you do similar activities in roughly the same way each night, starting around 20 minutes before your child’s bedtime.
Most bedtime routines include pre-bed tasks like having a bath and brushing teeth, as well as quiet, enjoyable activities like reading a book or listening to a story. The aim is to keep the atmosphere calm and positive, using positive attention and praise.
Here’s an example of a bedtime routine that could start after dinner and a bath:
- Your child plays quietly for 15-20 minutes – this could include reading with you.
- You and your child go into the bedroom.
- You and your child have a brief cuddle and kiss.
- You put your child into bed.
At the end of the 20-minute ‘positive period’, be clear that it’s now time for sleep. This means no more stories or talking. Say goodnight to your child, then leave the room straight away.
Making a start: choosing a bedtime
You might have an ideal bedtime in mind – somewhere between 7 pm and 8 pm often works for young children.
But if you’re dealing with settling problems, it’s best to start with the bedtime that’s closest to when your child naturally falls asleep. This increases the chance that the bedtime routine will become strongly linked to sleep time for your child. For example, if you find that your child finally falls asleep around 9 pm, start with this as a temporary bedtime.
Moving your child’s actual bedtime towards your ideal bedtime
About a week after you introduce the positive bedtime routine, you can start gradually making your child’s bedtime earlier.
This involves making bedtime about 15 minutes earlier every couple of days. You do this until you reach the ideal bedtime for your child.
For example, your child has been falling asleep at 9 pm, but you want an 8 pm bedtime. Here’s what to do:
- Start your positive bedtime routine at 8.40 pm, so that your child is ready for a 9 pm bedtime.
- Do this for two nights.
- Start your positive bedtime routine at 8.25 pm, so your child is ready for an 8.45 pm bedtime.
- Do this for two nights.
- Continue this gradual ‘fading’ process until your child is going to bed at 8 pm or the time you want.
The strategy will work best if you consistently put your child to bed on time while you’re trying to make their bedtime earlier. It can take a few weeks, but a positive bedtime routine will improve settling problems, decrease the number of times your child calls out to you at night, and lead to better parent-child relationships.