Babies and toddlers learning to feed themselves

Children feeding themselves: why it’s an important stage

For babies and toddlers, learning to feed themselves is an important developmental stage.

Self-feeding is about more than nutrition. It also:

strengthens your child’s finger and hand muscles and builds fine motor skills, which is important for holding things, using spoons and forks, and drawing
strengthens muscles in your child’s mouth, tongue and jaw, which is important for eating and learning to drink and speak
helps your child learn about mealtime behaviour
helps your child learn about tastes, smells, temperatures and textures of food
develops your child’s independence.

These are all important skills for life.

What to expect when babies and toddlers are learning to feed themselves

When you introduce solid food, your child might show signs of wanting to feed themselves. For example, your child might start reaching out for the spoon or trying to take food off your plate. It’s great to encourage this by letting your child hold their own spoon and try some of your food, as long as it’s small and soft enough.

Learning about eating and food involves a lot of touching, squeezing, throwing and dropping food. It’s best to be patient – learning to eat takes a lot of time and practice, and it can be messy.

Why finger foods are good when babies and toddlers are starting to self-feed

Finger foods are small, soft pieces of food that are easy to pick up and mash between gums or teeth.

If your child is showing interest in feeding themselves, you could try small, soft pieces of:

fruit – for example, ripe banana, mango or kiwifruit
cooked vegetables– for example, potato, sweet potato or pumpkin.

Food cut into long strips is easier for younger babies to hold and bite.

Top tip: put a few pieces of food within your child’s reach. You can add more when your child finishes them or drops them. This way the food won’t all end up on the floor at the start.

To prevent choking, always supervise your child when they’re learning to feed themselves. Make sure your child is sitting up and not playing or crawling around. Some foods are choking risks – for example, whole nuts and hard foods like chopped raw carrot or apple. Children who are learning to eat shouldn’t have these foods.

How to help babies and toddlers learn to use a spoon or fork

Most babies won’t be able to use a spoon or fork well until they’re about 18 months old. But it’s a good idea to let your child practise from a much earlier age. Sometimes babies will let you know when they want to start, by reaching for the spoon or fork.

Here are ideas to encourage your child to use a spoon or fork:

Eat meals with your child. This way your child can watch how you use a spoon or fork to feed yourself.
Start with plastic spoons or forks with a comfortable grip – these can be softer for your child. As your child’s skills improve, they can move on to small, metal spoons or forks.
Feed your child with one spoon or fork while they hold another one.
First load food onto your child’s spoon or fork. Then give the spoon or fork to your child to put into their mouth on their own.
Let your child practise often to build their skills.

From around 6 months, your child can start learning to drink from a cup. Like learning to eat, this process takes practice, and it can be slow and messy at first.

How to manage mess and food play

Messy eating and playing with food are typical parts of learning to eat.

If you find the mess stressful, these ideas might help:

Put a bib on your child.
Cut food into strips or fingers so that it’s easier for your child to pick up and eat.
Let your child eat with their hands if they prefer.
Use a suction plate or bowl, which your child can’t pick up or throw.
Put a dropsheet or towel under the highchair or table.
Set up your child’s highchair or table outside if you have a safe flat area.
Have a bowl of water and a washcloth or wipes handy. This way, cleaning your child’s face and hands becomes part of the meal routine.

It’s normal for your child to drop or throw food on the floor. If you react when your child does this, they might think it’s a game. One way to handle this is to ignore it. Calmly pick up the food without a fuss. Or you can leave the food on the floor until the meal is over. This way you can just do one clean-up at the end.