What are family traditions and family rituals?
Family traditions and rituals are special things your family does.
Family traditions
These are often customs that are handed down from older generations or other relatives, like always opening Christmas crackers with the person on your left. You might create your own family traditions to hand down.
Your family’s traditions might include celebrating religious festivals like Christmas, Chanukah or Ramadan. Or your family might have traditions for birthdays, sporting events, national days or cultural festivals like Diwali or Halloween. At these special events, you might invite extended family or friends to share in your traditions.
Your traditions might also involve common interests, like going to the local football derby every winter, camping at the same beach every summer, or watching the same movie every holidays.
Family rituals
These are special daily or weekly activities that are unique to your family, like:
- a special morning kiss or silly handshake
- code words for things or special names you use for each other
- a special wink for your child at school drop-off
- yum cha on Sunday mornings
- your own rules for sports or board games.
Family traditions and rituals are a way of saying, ‘This is who we are and what we value’.
Why are family traditions and rituals important?
Family traditions and rituals give you and your children a sense of security, identity and belonging. That’s because they’re special things that you do together, and they have special meaning for you. They create shared memories and build family relationships and bonds.
They can comfort children in unfamiliar circumstances. For example, if your young child loves listening to you read a bedtime story before bed, this ritual will help your child settle to sleep when they’re in a different place.
Family traditions and rituals help children feel that the world is a safe and predictable place. This is especially important in uncertain or changing times like a family separation or divorce or house move, or after a traumatic event like a bushfire or flood.
They can strengthen family values and help to pass these values on to your children. For example, something as simple as Sunday night dinner together every week says that you value your family and enjoy spending time together.
How to create fun family traditions and rituals
These ideas can help you create fun traditions and rituals for your family:
- Make regular meaningful time together as a family, just to enjoy each other’s company. For example, you might make time each week to talk about upcoming football games.
- Think about whether you can add something to your daily routines to make them more fun or special. It could be as simple as saying something affectionate (‘I love you’) or silly (‘Watch out for crocodiles’) before your child leaves for school each morning.
- Each month ask a different family member to choose something they want to do. It could be a bike ride, a movie night or a visit to a museum.
- Do something special on important family, religious or cultural festivals. For example, everyone chooses a decoration to put on the Christmas tree, or everyone takes turns saying one thing you love about someone on their birthday.
- Mark the end of the school year with a special activity, like walking to a local lookout, reading a favourite book or going to a particular place to eat.
Sometimes you might plan or create a tradition or ritual. And sometimes they form naturally, without planning. For example, your family watches and enjoys a movie one night, so you all decide that you’ll do this together once a fortnight. Simple rituals like this can create special family memories.
When family traditions and rituals need to change
As your children get older or your family circumstances change, some family traditions and rituals might need to change. For example, your child might want to spend more time with their friends or start a weekend job. Or you might be expecting another baby.
Changing a family tradition or ritual might be as simple as choosing a new time that suits everyone. For example, if family lunch on Sunday isn’t possible because now your child plays Sunday sport, you could move the family lunch to Saturday instead. Or it might involve choosing a different activity – for example, if your child’s interests have changed.
Sometimes you might want to keep a tradition or ritual, but your child doesn’t. This is when you might have to compromise. For example, you always have family birthday parties, but your child wants a party with friends instead of family. The compromise could be celebrating with family and friends on different days.
Letting go when things don’t work anymore will keep you and your family closer than if you force a family tradition because you really love it.