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Forum Member
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 16/05/2013 9:33:56 PM
Posts: 30,
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This one kind of encompasses two of the forum age brackets, but being that it's been going on for years, I've put it here.
SS12 & SD10 bicker all the time they are together. Seriously, they can be sitting on opposite couches, doing completely separate things and they will bicker.
It happens less when I have them on my own, because I give them about 5 minutes to see if they can sort it themselves, then they go to their bedrooms. I'm over it! Mine are older but they never bickered like this and it had ended well and truly before these ages.
We are doing up some rules/consequences today for them. I reckon we've got to be firm and consistent if we want to see an end to it.
Thing is, I reckon by these ages they should be over it. They should be old enough and mature enough not to wind each other up, try to get each other into trouble, attention seek (maybe?).
What ages did your kids stop the baby-bickering? Is this "normal" or am I right, are they really too old for this sort of cr*p?
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Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/08/2012 9:27:55 AM
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| My boys are 10 and 12 also and bicker a lot - thankfully they can also play well together - problems usually start when one has had a bad day/is tired etc. I asked my mother about it and she said that I was the same with my brothers and sisters - but you know what? I don't remember that at all!!! I think it is normal - I recall an uncle observing my kids arguing over a game they had made up and he said "Ah yes... arguing over the rules is half the fun!!" As long as it isn't physical or really emotionally hurtful (ie one ending up in tears) I wouldn't worry about it too much - it is more your problem than theirs. Obviously you don't want to live in a house with constant bickering, but they have probably gotten into the habit and don't even notice they are doing it. Perhaps you could have a bicker free zone/time - in our house we have a "parent zone" where their step father and I can retreat to when the kids are too annoying. If they want anything they have to knock on the door - and if we don't answer it means they can't come in!! I sometimes tell them that I need a time out because all their arguing is making me grumpy and they seem to understand that! Hope that helps?
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 5/04/2013 3:05:33 AM
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Oh, I remember the constant bickering - AND it would drive any sane parent up the wall. I feel for you !!
In my family the bickering would be peaking when:
1. When the kids were tired, hungry or bored
2. When they were really trying to get the attention of one or two parents.
My daughter would really turn it on with her younger brother, and I don't know what happened one day, but somehow I discovered that all she really needed was a hug from me ! It solved everything. I'm not trying to over simplify things here. But it was really about her needing my attention. She just took it out on her brother.
Another thing I used to do to break things up was invite their friends over to change up the dynamic or ship one out for a sleepover. Another thing my husband and I did was take one kid each out on a 'date' - divide and conquer I say !
Now that my kids are 14 and 11 (with very different interests and less time spent together) they enjoy each others company more. Good luck 
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Supreme Being
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Last Login: 4/12/2012 12:24:00 AM
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| I agree with all of the above. I would also add they may be bitter about their split family still, never resolved feelings about it and take it out on each other. They say that sibling rivalry is fairly healthy though. It teaches them how to deal with conflict in the safety net of the home environment. Maybe they are just 2 really different people, but as in life we have to learn how to get along with all kinds of people. As soon as bickering starts to get out of hand (upset someone/or affect me), I call the entire house into our "meeting" spot, everone has to attend, even if they weren't involved. So inconvenient for everyone lol.. they have to stop whatever they are doing, and they desperately want to get back to their TV/ Computer games etc Then they each have a 1 minute voice to tell me the issue. Then they have to listen to me! I have NO time limit! lol... They are so desperate for me to stop so they can get back to their activity, that they learn to bicker less as they know it will end up with me making them resolve it, acknowledging each persons wrongs and apologise and even worse a hug if necessary! lol... Niggly bickering I let them resolve.
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 8/10/2012 4:14:11 AM
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| With the oldest kids being a "born winner" and the youngest a "born loser" its not surprising they bicker. Try to find a common interest that both boys can so at the same level preferably something they have not done before. My brother and I bickered a lot then joined a fencing club, we both got really into the sport and got on a lot better.
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