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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 14/12/2011 7:40:56 PM
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Hi, I'm new to these boards, but not new to fostering. At the moment I have one child under 4 in my care (and my 17yr bio son). Anyhow, I thought I might try and get a conversation started.
Aside from teaching table manners I have found one of the most difficult things to teach my little fosterlings is how to play imaginatively.
So I guess my question to you is what have you found most difficult to teach (and if you have hit upon a solution that would be great too).
Mandy
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 13/12/2011 4:52:29 PM
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| Hi, I have had very similar experiences with some of my foster children. They could ride a bike or jump on the trampoline etc but couldn't play imaginatively. After speaking to a variety of child development therapists we worked out that this was also impacting upon their speech development and basically the solution was to spend time 'teaching' them how to use their imagination simply by playing games with them which involved using our imagination. It seems to be working!
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Supreme Being
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 5:20:22 PM
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| For what it is worth We had a young lad come to stay with us for a short time who was totally screwed up. It turned out that he is a totally avid Harry potter fan. We were doing some clean up at the time and he latched onto a piece of old Christmas material and made a cloak out of it . We went to Spotlight and I explained to the girl that we needed a special magic broach to pin on the cloak From there we had practically all of the spotlight staff (and some of the Customers )running all over the store finding Harry potter "stuff' Didn't cost me a cent !!! but we all had allot of fun At home the double garage was taken over and converted into a Hogwarts using old painting tarps and some disused kitchen cupboards A big palm husk became a Nimbus 2000 and a curtain rod was an excellant Magic stave He even insisted on sleeping in it for the night (although admitted it wasn't that comfortable)God knows what DOCS would say if we told them we had the child sleeping in the garage under some old paint cloths (he did insist on going back the second night but we put a stop to it on the third. It was all about just making the things available and quietly suggesting a number of possible uses for each (always suggest more than one use so it becomes their idea. I have just sent him a Christmas present with a letter from Professor Dumbledorf I think it is all about latching onto something they may have a prior interest in and then giving them materials that they can use (together with some outlandish ideas on what they may be able to do) and they will soon be lost in their own dream world without much further help Frank
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 16/05/2013 3:14:16 PM
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Hi Frank,
That would have been such fun! Ten years ago when the first HP novel came out we had a fantastic HP dinner party for a young boy's birthday. I still remember it - recreations of lots of the HP food and the dining area set up like the big hall...
Playing and imagination games is the best - I could do it all day - it's just a shame so much time is taken up with the more unrewarding parts of fostering (dealing with the dept etc.)
I hope everyone has had plenty of time to play during the Christmas break,
Greenforestfairy.
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 1/01/2012 4:24:30 PM
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| The thing I've found hardest to teach my foster children is to play alone by themselves for part of the time. Every child I've cared for (except one teenager) has stuck to me like glue and sought constant interaction and hasn't been able to develop an interest in spending time alone. I would designate on or two hours on weekend afternoons as quiet time when I could read a book or the newspaper and s/he was to spend quiet time in their room. None of the children liked it though. They all acted like it was torture and interrupted me constantly! Has anyone else had any success with encouraging a child to engage in quiet play or quiet activities on their own?
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Forum Member
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Last Login: 10/12/2012 9:48:54 PM
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I hear you about the individual play and time alone Snoopymugs! After almost one year my foster daughter is only just starting to do a little bit of independent play. Drives me nuts!!!
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 16/05/2013 3:14:16 PM
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In recent times the kids I've fostered have had huge challenges with anxiety (not surprising given what they've been through) and their anxieties have been triggered when they weren't being distracted.
We've put in place all the strategies my current foster child's 'support team' (psychologists, caseworkers, teachers etc.), can think of to help her (over a period of four or five years). Despite this I don't yet hope to get a break from her when I want one unless she's at respite. Her respite carer is a dedicated gem, extremely kind and attentive and understanding. We've had progress in that she's now able to be happily alone occasionally but the timing of when this will happen is completely unpredictable as it is dependant on every thing that is happening in her life. If she and I tried to schedule alone time for her the pressure of 'the schedule' would be too much for her to manage.
My experience of fostering has been that it can take years of support for traumatised kids to manage what other kids do naturally, if they ever can. Every part of their development is delayed by trauma. It is so sad.
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Forum Member
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Last Login: 10/12/2012 9:48:54 PM
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I've certainly found that the times when independent play or time alone happens is when my FD is less anxious.
The only strategy I've found that is helpful is to encourage her to have some alone time in very short bursts of about five minutes. I'll tell her that I'm going to do something and will be back in a few minutes and even though she usually protests this I find that she will increasingly start entertaining herself for slightly longer periods.
It's slow progress but as she's becoming more relaxed she's able to tolerate more time alone.
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I think that it is one of the most challenging things for me as a single carer to be honest - I think that they need a training module just on how to cope with NO personal space!
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