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My problem is his closest playmate has a 60 inch telly running constantly in the lounge/play areas during their playdates.  Every few minutes the kids stop playing & stare at the TV (usually on Nickleodon JR or other kiddie programmes).

My friend knows I'm not keen on TV for my tot, and I recently mentioned it again, in a lighthearted way, however the TV's still running whenever we go over for a playdate. 

If the weather allows it I take the kids outside but, as her garden isn't fenced, most of their play is inside.  As she shares a car, I usually visit her.

Her tot watches a few hours of telly or DVD's a day.  I've not ever commented on it, as it's her choice to make for her child.

I don't feel it's fair to ask her to turn the TV off in her own house.  At the same time, I feel frustrated as I love the kids spending time together, just dislike the constant TV.

Recently, my friend's asked me to play video games with her during the kids' playdate.  I've said I'm not keen, as I'd prefer to chat with her and play with the kids, or enjoy watching them play during their time together, but it keeps coming on up.

I don't know how to seriously broach the topic of my dislike of this much screen time in front of the kids, further, without offending her. 

Any advice would help.

I agree that too much TV is not good and if they have each other to entertain themselves then it sounds like the tv is not required at all however if your friend wants it going when you are at her house then i guess its her choice.  As for asking you to play video games - isn't that a little anti social?  I would diplomatically say " I'd prefer to just chat if thats ok?" perhaps add your enjoyment of adult conversation when you usually only get baby babble?

If the tv really bothers you that much then perhaps your visits need to stop but if your bub isn't watching much at home then a little at your friends is unlikely to cause any harm.

Hope I was of some help

I had another thought that may help,  if the TV must be on what if you purchased a baby einstein dvd ( or something similar) which are designed to be mentally stimulating to have playing instead of the random daytime tv rubbish.  My son ( nearly 6 months) watches the occasional baby einstein and he loves them.

Again, hope this is a help.

Bree

Why don't you just ask your friend to turn it off - she can only say no - but at least you have asked!, I had the same issue with my sister in law, I said....do you mind if I turn the tv off - the boys weren't even watching it much, she said ' sure, I had forgotten it was on'....sometimes it just blends into the background.... Maybe suggest playdo or leaf painting instead.

If you really are serious about keeping your child away from TV you may have to make some changes that seem rather drastic. It seems that you and your friend may have some big differences in the way you raise your children, and it may sound harsh but you may have to slowly pull out of the relationship to a certain extent so that your kids are spending less time together.

It depends how seriously you take the whole issue I suppose.

why dont you pick up your friend and/or her kid ans bring them to your place? i dont think it should come to terminating a friendship over something like that. good friends are few and far between and all imperfect. if she values you as a friend im sure you could talk to her.

All of that said... I wouldn't ask someone else to turn the TV off at their house, unless it was something really inappropriate that was on. It is something that everyone has their own opinions on, and I think it's important not to appear critical of other parents, because that's the sort of thing that easily ruins friendships. If suggesting alternative ideas for playdates, like the park orother places out and about (even if you offer to drive, given that she shares a car) is an option, then maybe doing that every second time or however often you want to might be a good idea? Otherwise, I don't think that small amount of TV exposure would be doing your bub any harm, it's not a daily occurrance. I definitely agree with what you're saying, it would irritate me too! But if the friendship is important to you then it might be worth just not saying anything, and tactfully trying to suggest alternative activities instead.

As someone else said, it depends a bit on how much it bothers you, and it does sound like a big difference between you and your friend. Especially if she wants to play video games when you're at her house to catch up with her... I wouldn't be keen on that myself. If you find that this is something that just comes up way too often, and the differences start to outweigh the common ground you have then you may need think about the future of the friendship and whether it's going to go the distance or not. I think if you really value her friendship and picture it being a long-term one then it's worth finding ways to get around it

All the best!