Preparing your family: returning to work

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Your child

Think about what your child needs to be happy. Depending on age, your child’s needs range from just feeling safe and secure to interaction, play, encouragement and skills development. If you can work out ways to fulfil your child’s needs when you’re not around, it will make it easier for her to get used to your return to work.

When they start child care, young children might experience separation anxiety. They might get upset and worried when they have to spend time away from you. This is a normal part of childhood development, and while it’s heartbreaking to see your baby upset, there are steps you can take to reduce her anxiety.

Some ideas to help your child adapt to your return to work:

• Talk to your child about what is going to happen when the daily routine changes. Routine provides security and a sense of belonging for children, and they like to know beforehand if things are going to change.
• Practice with small separations, to show your child that when you go away you always come back. This will build up your child’s sense of security. These separations need to be very short at first – even simple games of peek-a-boo are a good start. It can take a long time (even years) for your child to get used to being apart.
• Take all the steps you need to make sure your child will be safe and well cared for. Feel free to ask your child care provider lots of questions – they expect it, and it helps you feel better too about the separation.
• Always say goodbye and explain when you’ll be back. When your child is upset, you might feel tempted to sneak out, but saying goodbye will build trust and reinforce the pattern.
• When your child is at child care, let her keep something that makes her feel secure (a dummy, a teddy or a blanket).
• Be sympathetic to your baby, telling her that you know it’s hard and you wish you could stay.
• Follow the same routine each morning so your child knows what to expect.
• If you can, ease into the new arrangement by working part-time for the first week or two.

Your partner and other family members

Your relationships with your partner and family are also affected by returning to work. The secret to making this work is to make the most of your time together. For example:

• Spend time with family members, even if it's just reading or watching TV.
• Talk to or email your partner during the workday.
• Schedule lunch or dinner dates with your partner. If you work near each other, you can spend time together having a quick coffee or lunch without having to find a babysitter.
• When there are jobs to be done around the house, try to do them together so you can talk: one of you can clean the shower while the other does the basin; one can wash the dishes while the other dries; you can both fold laundry.
• Put the kids to bed early so you have some time with your partner.
• Go to bed at the same time as your partner – who knows what might happen!

If returning to work is proving very difficult and you don’t feel it’s working out, it’s alright to look at your options again. There might be another way to manage your time and money so that you have a happier balance.

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