Many dads report experiencing high stress, insufficient time for family and a strong belief that the major barrier to being an effective parent is paid work.

Do you have a good work/family balance?

If you are a dad you will probably want to:

  • enjoy time with your children while they are young
  • develop a strong relationship with your children
  • help with your children’s care
  • earn enough money to do the things you want to do
  • enjoy and have satisfaction from your work
  • be a positive influence on your children, guide, teach and support them.

Decide what you want

There is no ‘perfect’ balance. Every family is different, you need to work out a balance that suits your particular family and work situation. Talk with your partner about the type of parents you both want to be. Your chances of finding a good balance are greater when you work together.

Think about how you spend your time and use it on things you know are important to you and your children. Be flexible about balancing your work and family. As your kids get older their needs will change and you may need to change your approach. And, remember to leave regular time for yourself so you will have plenty of energy for your children.

What some dads say

  • ‘It’s not easy – but it’s worth it!’ (John, kids aged 6 and 8)
  • ‘A good balance of work and family enables me to spend time with my kids, and that’s the best part of being a Dad’. (Ben, children aged 13, 15 and 17)
  • ‘Be very clear what role you want to play within your family, particularly in relation to the raising and parenting of your children’. (Simon, child aged 2½)
  • ‘Don’t neglect your relationship with your partner, continue to work together and develop your relationship’. (Alec, children aged 6 months and 2)
  • ‘If balancing work and family becomes difficult, share this with those closest to you, being a good dad is not about doing it all alone’. (Dean, kids aged 7 and 11)
  • ‘Take advantage of the time with your children. Don’t allow it to pass by without being involved and enjoying the moments. This time will pass by very quickly and you cannot have it over again’. (Richard, children aged 18 and 23)

 Tips from other dads

  • Take time off when your baby is born to help your partner and get to know your baby.
  • Help care for your child – such as getting up in the night, feeding, dressing, washing nappies, as well as playing and reading. Practise builds confidence as well as skill.
  • Spend time with your children, doing the things they want to do. Make it ‘your time’ with them. It’s a great way to listen to them, find out about their world and show you are interested in them.
  • Be involved in important childhood events, such as birthdays or special times at child care and school.
  • Tell your children about your work – where it is, what you do, what happened to you today. You could call them from work, take them in and show them around.
  • Before you get home from work, do things that get you ready to be with your child, such as going for a short walk or getting changed. Think about your kids and be ready to give them the attention they need.
  • Be involved in their regular activities. Take them to playgroup, drop them to child care/school, volunteer for parent help (kids love it when dads come along), help with homework, sport or music. Get to know their friends.
  • Talk to your employer about your family needs. Tell them how important your role as a father is to you and that at times you may need some flexibility.
  • Explore the family-friendly policies your work offers. What will suit you and your family?
  • Look at the hours you work, is there room for change? ‘I worked part-time for a while to be with our baby. It was the best thing I did’. (Peter, child aged 18 months)
  • Talk to your friends and find out what they do to balance work and family.

Benefits of a good balance

  • Children with dads who are involved and interested in their lives are more likely to feel secure, confident and happy. ‘My children need me to guide, teach and support them, and I can only do that if I am available to them’. (Stefan, children aged 6 and 10)
  • You can develop a better relationship with your child and your partner. ‘Enjoy time with your kids; you only have one opportunity to be there as they grow up’.  (James, children aged 10, 13 and 15)
  • If you have a fulfilled family life you are likely to be happier at work.
  • A strong commitment to both work and family will provide you with satisfaction and fulfilment in both areas of your life. ‘Make the serious decisions now, before you regret it’. (Phil, children aged 17 and 19)